The Twilight Saga - Secret Files
by BlackParade0o
Summary: A collection of one-shots in time order, telling the brilliant tales of what moments Stephanie Meyer missed out in the Twilight Saga. The hidden moments and what the futer holds. This is the Secret Twilight Files. Contains all Character and canon pairings. Rated M for some one-shots that may contain sexual content.
1. Chapter 1

TITLE: Only Time Will Tell

SUMMARY: Carlisle and Esme contemplate Edward's relationship with Bella.

RATING: NC-17

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books, Midnight Sun draft and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

AUTHOR NOTE: In the two-disk set of Twilight, there is a deleted scene on the special features disk that is Esme and Carlisle watching Edward tow Bella up the tree outside his bedroom window. It's a great little scene between them, only about 30 seconds. I have no idea why they cut it out. In any case, it gave me an idea, as they do actually kiss in that scene and Carlisle tells Esme she is a hopeless romantic.

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Cullen Home

Missing Scene

First Time Edward Brings Bella Home

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We watched out the window as Edward scurried up the tree with Bella on his back. Esme looked at me as we turned. "She's brought him back to life."

"He's been alone too long. But how can it end well?"

"Alice has been wrong before."

"Not often," I replied.

"Carlisle." She leaned me against the wall in the hallway as we exited Edward's bedroom. "Bella is what he wants. It will work out - somehow."

"You're a hopeless romantic," I replied. I cupped the sides of her face and kissed her soundly. It really was amazing how I still felt like a teenager with her sometimes. You would think our passion would have dimmed but it hadn't. I still loved her just as passionately as I had that first time.

She was so lovely, even when she'd been lying broken in that bed after her jump from the cliff. Her long, brown tresses framing her head in big waves. Her wide, full lips were like a magnet to me. I'd been unable to resist trying to save her. After Edward, I knew the mistakes I'd made, and I had done better with Esme, biting her more than once, as much as I could stand and still pull away. The extra venom made her transition faster, although no less painful.

Now, I felt myself get excited by her kiss, as usual. Emmett and Rosalie had left to go for a walk. Rosalie was being a bit bitchy with Edward, but I understood her fear. Jasper and Alice had gone hunting. Jasper needed to after being in the same room with Bella. He'd kept his distance as requested. I knew he didn't want to endanger her. We were past all that now, thank God. I worried about where this was headed though. I'd never turned someone that wasn't on the brink of death, and I really had no intention of doing it now. Then again, Alice's visions were rarely wrong and she saw Bella as one of us. What she didn't see was who turned her.

Esme was holding my hand and tugging me toward the bedroom. "No kids, quick!" she teased.

I laughed and followed her into the bedroom, feeling sneaky and decadent grabbing an afternoon quickie. We stripped and I marveled at her perfect body. I wrestled her to the bed, mock growling in her ear and she laughed, her wind-chime chuckles filling the air. Our tongues dueled for supremacy of the kiss, no one really losing. I moved down and suckled her nipples, first one and then the other until she was squirming with pleasure.

I flipped her onto her stomach and palmed her perfect ass, rubbing my dick in between her ass cheeks and moaning in delight. I reached between us to test her readiness, even knowing she would be wet and slick for me as always. She was foamy and slick. I moved up and braced my knees on the bed, still sitting up and slid inside her with a long, drawn out moan. "Oh God, you feel so good," I whispered.

She humped her ass back against me and I chuckled at her impatience. I began to thrust, my strokes getting harder and deeper and faster, and soon, I was going so fast I was getting dizzy. I moaned again, unable to stifle the sounds of my pleasure. She was whimpering herself and it was music to my ears. I lived for that sound.

I leaned forward and slid my hands under her body, which she'd raised up on her elbows. I palmed her breasts and pinched her nipples. She shouted, "Oh yes!" I felt her walls collapse around me. I held out as long as I could, pumping into her tightness again and again, driving myself deep into her hungry tunnel. Finally, it was too much and I shouted, feeling my shaft expand and then explode deep inside her. I poured into her body, pump after pump, until there was simply no more to give.

I collapsed on the bed over her back, my breathing heavy in her ear and I kissed her hair. She turned her head and we shared a slow, deep kiss of appreciation. I grunted as I slipped out of her and rolled onto my back. She curled up into my side and put her head on my shoulder. "Love you so much, Carlisle."

"I know, I love you too. Just in case you forgot," I joked.

She smiled and kissed my chest. "I really do think it will work out somehow. I don't know how, but honestly, Carlisle, when have you ever seen him like this?" She was back to obsessing about Edward. Like a mother hen, they were never far from her thoughts. It had always bothered her that Edward had been alone for so long. She was afraid that he was too young when I made him and he would never want a grown up male-female relationship. I hadn't agreed with her. I just knew that Edward was not easily impressed. He'd never found anyone that touched his heart.

"I've never seen him like this. Did you hear him laughing?"

"Yes, I've heard that sound way too seldom."

"I agree. She really is fabulous, isn't she? She's not afraid of him at all, not that I could detect. And the way she stuck her hand right out and shook hands with me and you, no fear," I observed.

"She certainly is unique, but I would expect nothing less. She's really cute, too."

I kissed the top of her head. "I think part of the intrigue is that he can't read her mind. It's made him have to actually talk to someone to get to know them. That's a challenge for him. I don't think he realized how much he relies on his ability to guide his actions."

"I think you may be right. I think he's fascinated, and that is probably what started it, but it's more than that now."

"I agree. But that continued fascination, it is hard to understand."

"Not really. She's very intelligent, obviously. Her total lack of fear is intriguing. That had to intrigue him as well. Despite her lack of fear, I can tell he is protective of her."

"What was your first clue? Pushing her out of the way of a speeding van?"

Esme chuckled. "Well, yeah, obviously. But it's his body language. He hovers in her personal space. And when he talks to her, it's like he's waiting for her to bolt."

"I'm sure that's a consideration. At any time, she may hear or see something that sends her over the edge. She could run away screaming. That would be bad for all of us."

"She won't."

"You sound very sure about that."

"I am. He told her about you, about all of us essentially. He told me that he even told her about his time away from us. He asked her if that bothered her."

"What did she say?"

"She said it sounded reasonable."

I laughed then. "Amazing."

"I think there's more to this girl than any of us realizes. Alice may be the only one that sees her clearly. I feel it though. It's like she was designed for him with her ability to shield her mind, her lack of fear, her fascination rather than fear or repulsion of him. If any of us were to want a human to know about us, who would be more perfect than her? She's honest, trustworthy, able to keep a secret, respects the rest of the family. I think she truly understands the importance of keeping our secrets. She didn't even freak out when he described hunting to her."

"Maybe. I'll just have to say a prayer for him. He deserves to be happy."

"Amen to that. Did I tell you he was composing the other day?"

"No!"

"Yeah, he wrote a lullaby for her. It's beautiful."

"A lullaby?"

"I think it was inspired from watching her sleep."

I smiled. There was a gentle side to Edward that people rarely got to see. He was so in love with this girl. It would break him if she left. I could see that now, and it worried me. For, no matter how agreeable she was now, the future was always uncertain. Human teenage girls could be fickle, regardless of how mature they seemed. "I just hope it works out somehow."

"It will."

"I hear Rose and Emmett downstairs."

"We better get up then," she replied. We rose and jumped in the shower and dressed quickly.

When I went into the kitchen, Emmett was standing there, looking out the window. "Hey," I greeted him. He turned and his eyebrows rose and fell twice quickly, in a male gesture that said, 'Way to go!'

I laughed. "Hey, even the rents need some private time once in a while," I joked back. He laughed. He looked out the window again.

"What are you looking at?" He pointed, and I went to stand next to him, looking out the window.

Edward was catching Bella as she descended from a low branch of a tree. He released her waist but then his hands went to the side of her head against the tree, trapping her there. He bent his head, tilting to one side and I stiffened. "Wait," Emmett whispered.

Edward lowered his mouth to hers and she gasped and kissed him fiercely, her arms wrapping around his neck. "Oh my God," I whispered.

Emmett turned to me and smiled with a smug look. "That's some control," he said, with admiration in his voice.

I nodded, watching him pull back. "She smells so good to him."

"I know, but he's apparently found a way to control it."

"It would be so easy to hurt her, get carried away," I said.

"I know. We talked about physical relationships briefly at one point. He said he couldn't even think about it at that point. Guess he found a way."

"That's dangerous."

"Don't worry, I don't think they do anything but kiss."

"I'll have to talk to him about it."

Emmett laughed. "I don't think he needs the birds and bees talk, looks like he's got it figured out," he joked.

I punched him in the arm. "That's not what I meant."

He laughed and turned from the window as they held hands and walked away from the tree. "Carlisle, the boy's gone crazy, but honestly, he's happier than he's ever been since I've known him."

"I know, but it still worries me. Esme says it will work out somehow, but I just don't see it."

He clapped my shoulder. "We have to let it play out. It will work or it won't, but I think the more we interfere or try to prevent it, the worse it could be."

"How's Rose?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"Madder than a wet hen," he joked again.

I laughed. Only Emmett would be able to put up with Rosalie's fierce moods. He just refused to take her vanity seriously, other than his own attraction. He truly did love her. "She's jealous?"

"I think so, but it's more than that. She just plain doesn't understand it. I don't either, but I'm not worried that she will expose us, not anymore. She's as much in love with him as he is with her. It's all over her face."

"I hope it stays that way."

"What do you mean?"

"If she ever leaves him, it will break him I think. He's never had a romantic relationship. It's changing him in fundamental ways. She's already changed him."

"I'll say," he agreed.

"We don't change often, Emmett, and when we do, the change is usually permanent. He's fallen in love with her. Like you love Rosalie and I love Esme. That kind of love doesn't happen twice, not for us."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that he will probably never love again if this doesn't work out. It's not in his make up. If something happens to this relationship, and it goes bad, he'll never get over it. I feel it in my bones."

"Then we all better do what we can to make sure it works out."

Rosalie appeared in the doorway, leaning her shoulder on the door jam. She was scowling. "Speaking of which," I coaxed.

Emmett chuckled. "I'll talk to her," he whispered. He grabbed her hand and towed her out of the room into the living room and sat on the couch with her.

I tried to be inconspicuous in the kitchen, opening cupboards and making a list of dishes and other things I wanted to buy to have on hand. If Bella was going to be here regularly, we needed to do some food shopping. I kept one ear trained on the living room.

"What was that all about?" Rosalie asked.

"Carlisle and I were just talking about Bella and Edward."

"Oh, does anyone in this house talk about anything else anymore?" she said peevishly.

"Rose, this is important to him. Can you try to be nice to her?"

"She could ruin everything!" she hissed.

"She won't. Rose, watch them a little bit, instead of jumping to conclusions. She's in love with him. She won't do anything to hurt him, or expose us."

"She's human. She could slip."

"I think she's smarter than that. More importantly, though, I think she's acutely aware of your disapproval."

"So what?" she asked.

"So … this relationship could make or break Edward, and I think we all need to support him."

"How can you be in favor of this?"

Emmett sighed. "Rose, I love you so much."

"I know that. What's that got to do with anything?"

"Why did you save me?" he asked suddenly.

I almost heard her internal gasp. "What kind of question is that?"

"A fair one. Why did you do it?"

"Because … I saw something in you. You reminded me of my friend's child. You looked so manly and so innocent at the same time. I don't know, I just couldn't let you die if I could help it. I just did it."

"And you love me, right?"

"I adore you, you know that."

"So why were you attracted to me?"

"I don't know. You're my type, I guess."

"Why shouldn't Edward have the same thing? What? He doesn't get to have any love in his life?"

"That's not the point! Of course he does. But for God sakes, it's not like he hasn't had offers. Tanya would take him in a second."

Emmett sighed. "But the attraction has to be a two-way street, Rose. Just like you can't explain why you were attracted to me, you just were. Edward is attracted to Bella. He probably doesn't know why either, but he is."

"It's not logical. She's human."

"Love isn't logical, Rose. It just is," he replied. "We can't help who we fall in love with."

Emmett was a lot more observant than I gave him credit for sometimes. He was also a good judge of character and human nature. I'd never really realized that about him. His joking and happy-go-lucky attitude hid a lot from the outside world, even observant people such as us.

Rose sighed. "I guess you're right."

"I know you and Edward rub each other the wrong way sometimes, but this attitude isn't helping, Rose. And if you keep it up, it's going to piss Edward off. And when Edward is pissed off, we all suffer, you know that," he said, his joking creeping into his voice again.

Rose chuckled. "What is it that you and Carlisle want me to do?"

"Nothing in particular, just stop giving her the evil eye. Quit calling him idiot."

"I don't call him an idiot."

"You think it and he can hear it, Rose. Same thing," he stated the obvious. "There's something about that girl."

"Oh God, not you too!"

"I don't like her that way, and you know it. Don't be ridiculous. But the way it has all fallen into place for him, and he's found this remarkable control around her, it has to mean something."

"When you get deep and philosophical, it worries me," Rose replied.

He laughed. "Well, think of how you react to opposition, Rose. You fight against it instinctively. Edward will do the same. The more you oppose him, the more he'll try to make it work. So just stop opposing him."

She sighed again. "I'll try."

"That's all I ask. Try to make her feel welcome. If you can't do that, then just stay out of the way, at least."

I peeked out the kitchen door into the living room. She was leaning on his shoulder, his arm around her neck. He was so good at calming her down, the only one that could sometimes. They were a perfect match. He'd brought up a good point. Why shouldn't Edward have that? We all had a mate, maybe it was Edward's turn. I sure hoped so.

Only time would tell.


	2. Chapter 2 - Nice Speech

TITLE: Nice Speech

SUMMARY: Edward loses his cool when he overhears girls criticizing Bella.

RATING: PG

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books, Midnight Sun draft and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

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Forks High School

Cafeteria

One Month After Port Angeles

Friday - Noon

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Bella had taken the day off from school because her mother was coming in to the airport today. She was coming here for a weekend visit only, then back to her husband, Phil. I was a bit aimless without her here and realized with chagrin how much I planned my day around when I would see her. I hadn't finagled it yet so all my classes were with her but I was working on it.

I walked into the cafeteria and grabbed an apple and a lemonade, paid for it and was walking back to the table to sit with my siblings for a change, when Jessica Stanley's petty shrieking interrupted my day as it so frequently did. She was talking to Lauren, also a bit of a bitter harpy. "Honestly, I don't know what he sees in her," she said peevishly. Who was she talking about now? I wondered.

"I know," Laura replied. "All the boys went nuts for her in the beginning. Honestly, I'm sort of glad; at least he took her off the market. The other guys don't even try now."

"I know but it rankles being second choice, doesn't it?" she asked. I knew in an instant that they were talking about me and Bella. I had to listen to this nonsense daily. I usually tuned it out, but I was without Bella today and at loose ends. For some reason, I didn't want to ignore it. I knew that was a bad idea and after a pause I headed for the table again.

Angela, the only one of Bella's friends that I actually liked spoke up. "You know, they might just like each other. Who knows why one person is attracted to another?" She smiled sweetly at Ben Cheney sitting next to her and he squeezed her hand on top of the table. I smiled and watched Jessica and Lauren both roll their eyes.

"Maybe," Lauren continued. "He is hot, but let's face it, if he had wanted to date before, he would have."

Jessica sighed. "I guess, but she's so ordinary. Don't get me wrong, we're friends and all, but I just don't get the appeal."

Angela said, "It's not always about how 'hot' the person is."

Jessica raised her eyebrows. "What else is there? There has to be chemistry. She is skinny, has mouse-brown hair and eyes, she's clumsy as hell. I don't get it. Why are the guys ga-ga over her? Just because she's new I'll bet."

"She's not new any more," Angela said, defending her. "Someone's personality can make them sexy too." She was the only true friend Bella had in this bunch.

That was it, how stupid were these girls? I did an about face and headed for their table. Jessica and Lauren had their backs to me, but Angela and Ben saw me coming. Ben's eyes widened like saucers, and Angela merely bit her lower lip. When I was about two feet behind them, I stopped and put my finger to my lips, in a gesture for them to be quiet. Angela sucked the whole side of her cheek into her mouth, trying not to laugh, and Ben studiously studied his lunch tray and began to eat his mashed potatoes.

"Honestly," Lauren replied. "I can see what she sees in him, but what can he possibly see in her? What do any of them see in her?"

Mike and Tyler were curiously absent at the moment. I wondered what their responses would be to this attack on Bella, since they both had asked her out, along with Eric York. I swooped around the end of the table and sat next to Angela, directly across from Jessica and put my elbows on the table, cradling my apple, and practically slammed my lemonade bottle onto the table. I took great satisfaction in seeing both girls jump nearly a foot out of their seats.

I smiled, but it wasn't friendly and they both could see it. Jessica gulped hard. "Hello girls," I said. I turned and winked at Angela. "Angela, Ben, nice to see you." They nodded and both looked at the table again. I turned back to the two harpies, as I thought of them now. "You know what?" I asked.

They both were stunned silent. Lauren was visibly shaking and licking her lips. Jessica was continuing to look like a startled guppy. I decided I was going to have to do the talking. "Okay, a monologue it is," I said.

I heard Ben snort, and Angela pressed her lips together tightly, determined not to interfere. "I'm feeling very generous today, Jessica. So after listening to you speculate for over a month about my relationship with Bella, I'm going give you," I paused, looking at my watch. "Ten minutes. I'll answer any question you want. Ask me, anything, I'll give you the straight dope."

She swallowed harshly. "I'm so-sorry, Edward. I didn't know you were there," she blurted, looking down and blushing. It wasn't endearing on her like it was on Bella.

"Obviously," I said, my tone clearly sarcastic. "What do you want to know?" Silence from both girls. "Come on, here's your one chance. Ask me anything."

"Oh geez," Angela whispered now.

"What? Nothing? Okay, I'll answer the questions I've heard, how about that?"

"That's not necessary," Lauren whispered.

"Oh, I think it is," I said curtly. "Let's see, okay, question one. What does he see in her? Many things, not the least of which is that she doesn't base her friendships on the way people look. She's smart, honest, a good person. Did you know," I began conversationally. "That her mother had a nervous break down when she was 12 years old. And after that Bella sort of became the mother and her mother became the child. She looked after her mother, kept her out of trouble, tended house, paid all the bills, did all those things that mother's are supposed to do? Did you know that since she moved here, she takes care of her father? The man can't boil water. She cooks, cleans, does laundry, all on top of school and whatever else she does for fun? What's your day like after school?"

There was no response.

"I'll tell you what Bella's is like. She goes home and works on school work for a couple hours. Then she prepares dinner so it's ready by the time Charlie gets home. After that, she does the dishes, vacuums at least one room, does a load of laundry, all before she sits down to finish any homework, if she still has any before going to bed, or visiting with me for a bit."

More silence. "Bella is mature, she is smart. Did you know she has a 145 IQ? That's genius level, by the way, for those not in the know. She's read all the classics, Romeo & Juliet, Sense & Sensibility, Wuthering Heights, Midsummer's Night Dream, Much Ado About Nothing, and can discuss them with intelligence. While you folks were writing essays on why Romeo was so dumb, hers was on whether Shakespeare's treatment of women is misogynistic."

I glanced at Lauren and her brow was puckered. I continued, "You look like I just spoke pig Latin. Bet everyone at this table needs to look that up. Did you know she listens to Debussy? You can look him up too. Google it. But all that doesn't really matter either. You know what I like best about Bella? She's kind. Did you know that she turned down three different guys in this school because she knew her friends liked them?"

This brought both their heads up. "I'm not saying she was interested, but they were, trust me. You know who I'm talking about too. But she is kind, and she would never hurt her friends, talk behind their backs, or accept a date with someone she knows one of her friends likes." That hit home, they talked behind her back all the time. "She just politely turned them down and suggested they ask her friend instead. Wasn't that nice of her?"

Jessica cleared her throat, but then closed her mouth, deciding against whatever she was going to say. "She's brave too. If you had any idea how many times she's been injured. I'll grant you she's clumsy." A little chuckle erupted from Angela and Ben now. I smiled in return. "But she hates attention, hated all the attention she got when she first came here. You know why? She's humble. She always puts everyone else's needs ahead of hers. There isn't a selfish bone in her body. She's a warm, caring, generous, brave, smart girl, and … she doesn't know it! That's so refreshing. I find that sexy and attractive. That's what I see in her. That's why I fell in love with her."

They both gasped. "I enjoy spending time with her and talking to her and trying to decipher what's going on in that fascinating head of hers. You see, because I'm not always sure. You guys on the other hand, I know what goes on your head, and it's not attractive, to me anyway. I'm sorry about that. I really am. And yes, I'm in love with her. But don't blame Bella for my preferences. The amazing thing is not that I find her attractive. The amazing thing to me is that she loves me, the freak, the adopted kid, the one everyone talks about. Yes, I know you call me a freak and don't care. Now, at the risk of sounding like a lecturing professor or a parent, we're all almost adults here."

I stood up abruptly. "I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense. Either be her friend or don't, but don't pretend and talk behind her back. Time to grow up. Maybe instead of wondering what I see in Bella, you could wonder about people don't see in you."

I picked up my lemonade and turned and walked away, finally joining my siblings at their table. They were all grinning with various expressions of amusement. "Nice speech," Emmett commented.

Alice snorted. "Way to go, Edward. If they didn't hate us before," she broke off.

"Who cares?" I said.

"Not me," Jasper said.

"Not me," Rosalie repeated, surprising me. We rarely agreed on anything.

The lunch bell rang a few minutes later and I pitched my apple and lemonade, and made my way to biology knowing it was going to bore the crap out of me without Bella there. I felt good about putting the girls in their place. I just hoped I hadn't made things worse for Bella. If they avoided her from now on, I would explain why. Not that this would be a bad thing, but they were her friends, or she thought they were, and I probably shouldn't chase them away. There was, however, only so much I could take of their shallow posturing. I wasn't going to be an idle observer anymore. There were more than just accidents to protect Bella from. Vicious harpies were being added to the list. I smiled at the prospect, figuring they would be very careful not to talk about her, at least when I was anywhere near and that suited me fine.

If I overhead any more crap, I was going to be making some more nice speeches.


	3. Chapter 3

TITLE: Contemplation and Remembrance

SUMMARY: Edward struggles with the aftermath of Italy but resolves to keep Bella by his side, no matter what. He enlists the family to help.

RATING: PG

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books, Midnight Sun draft and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have taken facts and pieces of both the books and the movies in this fic. So there is some overlap, things that were in the movies that were not in the books and vice-versa. Please accept the convention of seeing the story from several different angles. Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading.

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Edward POV

Missing Scenes

Bella's Bedroom

Several Weeks After Return from Italy

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My name was still Edward Cullen but I didn't feel like the same man at all. Had there ever been anyone in history that felt more wretched than I did at this moment? I doubted it. Bella was asleep, tossing restlessly. I just hoped that the dreams weren't too awful. I knew she feared the Volturi. I knew she remembered the screams of the victims that we were unable to outrun during our narrow escape from massacre in Volterra. God, what I had put her through. That she came to Italy with Alice to save me without a second thought was still astounding to me.

Her bravery and selflessness left me speechless. The way she'd taken Aro's hand, her slight tremble the only evidence of her fear. I remembered the shot of jealousy I'd felt thinking he would know her every thought when I couldn't. I also remembered the smug feeling that had washed through me when I saw his confidence turn to doubt, then astonishment as he realized her head was as silent to him as she was to me. That was right along side the horror of thinking Jane was going to inflict pain on her. I had refused to scream and give her the satisfaction, but had she hit Bella with that pain, I would have found a way to kill her. My relief was profound upon realizing that Jane couldn't hurt her either. There was some satisfaction knowing that it wasn't my ability that was faulty, or my feelings for Bella that were clouding my skills. After all, Jasper could feel her and Alice could see her, so I had wondered if there was something wrong with me. Knowing Jane, Aro, and I supposed Alec as well couldn't touch her was a relief on many levels. Apparently though, her head was private and immune to all vampire powers that stemmed from control of the mind. For this reason, I didn't fear the Volturi as much as she did.

I knew the whole story of my screw up now, having seen it in Alice's mind shortly after we returned. Alice had not deceived her. She had told Bella straight-up that they might both be killed. She still hadn't hesitated to come to save me, even under the delusion that I didn't want her anymore, that I had left her because I didn't need her and that I was acting out of guilt. Such strength and selflessness was nearly incomprehensible to me. I didn't deserve her.

Bella had told me that Victoria, the Volturi, were all nothing compared to me and the chance that I might leave her again. She would prefer death, having said, 'The worst the Volturi can do is kill me. You can leave me.' Knowing that the chance I would leave her again was more painful than all those other issues, was humbling indeed.

I sat staring at the long list of undelivered e-mails to Alice glowing on the screen. She probably wouldn't appreciate me invading her privacy this way. However, the lure was too great to resist. The chance to have a peek into the window of her mind and thoughts was irresistible. While she would tell me anything I wanted to know, I know she still edited her thoughts. This was a look at her unguarded, not holding anything back to protect my feelings, or because she feared my reaction.

I read the passages with a heavy heart.

_Alice: You've disappeared, like everything else. Who else can I talk to, I'm lost. When you left, and he left you took everything with you. But the absence of him is everywhere I look. It's like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. But in a way I'm glad… the pain is my only reminder that he was real… that you all were…_

Alice: I saw him. Maybe I'm crazy now, I guess that's okay. If a rush of danger is what it takes to see him, then that's what I'll find.

Alice: I wish I had your real address. I wish I could tell you about Jake. He makes me feel better. I mean… he makes me feel alive. The hole in my chest… well when I'm with Jake it's like it's almost healed… for a while. But even Jake can't keep the dreams away.

Alice: Things are… things are bad again. Without Jake, I… I can't stand it. I don't see Edward anymore… Will it really feel like he never existed? I will find a place where I can see him again.

Alice: Is it possible that everything is true? Fairy tales and horror stories? Is it possible that there isn't anything sane or normal at all?

Alice: I'm alright. Until I'm alone. And lately that's all the time. Jacob's gone. He's hunting Victoria. And Charlie's hunting Jacob. And you're gone and so is Edward. And there's just nothing now. But I realize where I have to go, what I have to do to see him again.

For Christ's sake, she was risking injury and possibly even death, just to see my image, hear my voice in her head. Jumping off a cliff to hear someone's voice made no sense in anyone's world. But that is what she had done. I couldn't imagine the agony she was in that would make that seem like a good idea.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Alice's memories of her discussions with Bella were taunting me as well.

_'Well, if it wasn't for Jake, I might have drown today, well, no maybe about it. Why didn't you see Jake save me?_

_'Yeah, Victoria's been around, well, if not for Jake, Laurent probably would have gotten me first, so … 'Jake's my best friend, or he was, he's sort of a werewolf …'_

She described Jacob as her sun. He was the friend that balanced out the clouds, sealed the aching hole in her chest and made her functional and almost whole when she was with him. He made her feel alive … while I had made her feel dead.

Charlie's recollections were no less disturbing. He'd told Alice that Jacob was mature for his age, having taken care of his father, who had been wheelchair bound for many years now. He related that Bella was nearly catatonic for a week after we left; that even with Jacob's help, he still heard her screaming in her sleep. He'd thought he would have to hospitalize her, as she wouldn't eat or drink.

As much as I know he did it to bother me intentionally, I couldn't even be upset with Jacob for giving me his memories of her. He'd shown me the picture from his mind of Sam finding her on the forest floor, curled into a ball, with her arms wrapped around her chest, as though trying to hold her heart inside her chest, chanting, 'He's gone, he's gone'. She'd been missing almost 48 hours at that point. He'd shown me how she looked when he saw her for the first time after I'd left, ragged and unkempt, her hair unbrushed.

He'd shown me her wrapping her arms around her body, saying, 'It hurts to talk about them, it's like I'm breaking into pieces.' Seeing her face as Jacob saw it as he pulled her from the ocean, lips blue and not breathing. At the time he'd thought, 'he's finally killed her', and I couldn't disagree. If she had died, it would have been my fault for driving her to such an extreme. Those were not the only times Jacob had witnessed her pain and stoically took hold of her and put her back together again. Like the time he found her curled in a ball on the wet sand of the beach during spring break along with the flashes of pain he could see in her eyes whenever the subject of my family arose. The images were horrifying to me. They swirled in a never-ending horror show of the pain I had caused the person who meant the most to me in the whole world.

Jacob and his pack of werewolves had killed Laurent before he could kill Bella, and for that I would be forever grateful. I would also hate myself for the rest of eternity that I hadn't been the one to stand between her and that lying snake. I realized now that the only reason he hadn't taken her himself was his fear of James.

I wanted to hate Jacob but I couldn't. Bella herself had said that if it wasn't for Jacob, there was no telling what I would have come home to. After seeing how she looked to him in the beginning, I believed her. I shuddered at how close I had come to losing her … not once, not twice, not three times. First, James, then Laurent, then Victoria, then the Voluri. To top it all off she then hung out with volatile, immature werewolves. She'd had no choice but to put her life in their hands because I was not there to look after her. As much as I wanted her away from them, I couldn't deny that they had done their job. They had killed Laurent. They may not have gotten Victoria yet, but they had kept her from getting to Bella. She had not gotten through them yet. There was comfort in that. Would the nightmares never end?

I should have stuck with my original plan from the early days when I decided she needed protecting, and I was going to be her guardian vampire. I was going to leave her human, but be there for her in any way that I could. How had it all gotten so twisted? I knew what had happened. The desire for her as a woman, a person, the pleasure of her company, the intrigue of deciphering her thoughts caught me as surely as a fly in a web. She was so damn … _interesting._

I was 110 years old now. You'd think there would be little that could interest me. You'd think there would be nothing left to learn, nothing left to capture me to the point of obsession. How wrong I'd been. In my entire existence, nothing and no one had ever consumed me the way Bella did. When curiosity turned to interest and interest turned to love, and love turned to obsession, and obsession turned to horror at the harm I was placing her in, I made the worst decision in my miserable, long life. I'd left her. Now I would have to deal with the consequences of that decision. I needed to deal with her doubts and insecurity, her fear that I would leave again, her desire to become what I am. Most of all, I had to deal with her relationship with Jacob, a werewolf, my polar opposite, my enemy … her best friend … her sun. Jealousy was a sharp knife through the center of my heart.

Jasper still hadn't forgiven himself for leaping at her when she cut her finger. I could hear and feel the remorse every time he looked at her or me. I'd told him none of this was his fault. If it hadn't been him, it would have been someone else. Besides which, I'd pushed her too hard and she'd flown into the crystal vases on the table and cut herself worse. He might have been able to pull himself together over a paper cut. I'd made it ten times worse and made her blood flow in a torrent down her arm from crashing into the glass. I'd hurt her worse than he ever had. Despite that, he still felt that our leaving was his fault and that he'd made it necessary; that all this mess was because he couldn't control himself. Alice had spent hours talking him out of self-loathing, assuring him that I had made my own choices, and he couldn't blame himself.

He'd been barely able to look at me since our return. I could read the guilt in his mind every time we were in the same room together. When he had looked at me directly, his apologies would start spilling out again. Finally, I'd been unable to stand it anymore. I'd asked him to take a walk with me. What could he say? I'd rarely asked him for anything. He'd hung his head and followed me into the woods. I'd seen Alice's concerned expression as he'd followed me docilely out the door.

Xxxxxxxxxx

Jasper and I traveled to 'Bella's meadow' as I thought of it now. We'd sat and talked. I could remember the conversation verbatim, as I remembered every conversation I'd had in the last 110 years.

"Jasper, I want to tell you some things." He'd sat quietly, contemplating the grass as though it were the most interesting thing in his world. "Remember in the beginning when you wanted to kill Bella, to erase the danger that I had put us in by saving her?" He'd sucked in a guilty gasp. "You said something to me then, something that I will never forget." He hadn't looked up. "You said, 'I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through, whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand."

He gulped in a big breath, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

I waved his comment off. "What I want to tell you is that I didn't know at the time. You were right. I had never loved anyone with passion the way you love Alice. Even then, though, I felt a pull toward Bella that was unnatural, or foreign to me, at least. I couldn't bear the thought of her being hurt, much less killed. I'd saved her life for crying out loud, without a second's thought about what it would mean. I know I explained to you that the possibility of her blood being spilled would have probably made me expose all of us for what we were. But honestly, at the time, all I thought was, 'Not her'! Alice knew before I did. I was in love with her then, I just didn't know it, didn't recognize it for what it was.

"I'd wanted to kill her more than any of you at first. She was like my own personal demon. I never imagined anyone could smell so sweet. You have no idea how hard I fought the monster inside me. That monster you fight, he roared with rage and frustration every time I was near her. I wanted her blood so bad, more than I'd ever wanted anything in my entire existence. It made me completely deranged. For all that, even then, with her scent assaulting me like a sledge hammer, I couldn't bear the thought of her being hurt. The idea that I might hurt her was the worst of all. Much worse than the idea that any one of you could. Seven decades of discipline and I could have so easily washed it all away in one second when her scent hit me that first day. So don't think I don't understand the monster. You don't have seven decades of self-denial in your corner.

"So now, after all that has transpired in the last year and half, I do know what you mean. I know what it's like to love someone more than your own life, more than your next breath. I know what it's like to panic over the thought of her being in any kind of danger. I don't blame you for what happened, Jasper, I blame myself." He gazed at me, his mouth open and twisted in a grimace of pain. "It's what we are, Jasper. I understand the monster. I would have been surprised if it had never happened. If not you, it would have been someone else eventually, maybe even me."

"But it was me," he said quietly. "Do you have any idea how it feels to be the weak link? I hate myself sometimes; that I'm the one everyone looks at with doubt. I'm the one that has the most potential or likelihood of exposing us all because I can't find the restraint that you all seem to have mastered so easily. Oh, I know it's not easy, but you make it look that way. I feel like the outsider so often. There are times when I feel that I don't deserve to live among you, be a part of this family. I know that I'm not worthy as the rest of you, but Edward, I love Alice so much and the thought of losing her is unendurable. I have to be where she is, always. If it weren't for Alice …" he trailed off.

"Jasper, you're wrong. You're my brother, as surely as Carlisle and Esme are my father and mother, and Emmett is my brother, and Rose and Alice are my sisters. I never think of you as an outsider, other, apart from us. I can assure you none of the others do either." If we could cry, he would have had tears in his eyes now. He made a soft choking sound. "Jasper, we're a family, a team, always. I know how you suffer for your gift, and I love you for making Alice happy. You belong with us, never believe otherwise. I love you as equally as I love all the others … well, except for maybe Rose," I joked.

He laughed then and I laughed with him. "Thanks, Edward. That means a lot to me, you have no idea how much. Other than Alice, your regard is the most important to me. I admire you so much. I don't think you realize how much we all rely on you. It's not just about your abilities, although that is critical, it's about the way you are, so responsible, so steady. If Carlisle is the soul of this family and Esme is the heart, you are the brain, Edward. You give the rest of us piece of mind. Even when you were crazy, we worried more about you leaving than you making a mistake. I know you don't hold it against me, but I hold it against me. If this family had lost you because of me, and I thought they had at one point, I know I would never be able to forgive myself. I'm only starting to now because you are here again. I just want you to know, if there is ever anything I can do for you … and I mean ANYTHING, anything I can do to make up for this," he trailed off.

I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "There's nothing to make up for. Just be my brother." I paused, listening to his thoughts, knowing he wanted to 'do' something. "Actually, there is something," I said.

"Anything!" he repeated. I could read his intense desire to be able to do something, anything tangible, to atone for his behavior.

"Help me protect her from now on. I wish I could be all things to her, be everywhere at once. But I can't. I need your help. I need all of you to help me. I need to talk to everyone else as well. Reality is that I'm only one person, I can't watch her 24/7. She is the most precious thing in my world ever. "

"I never would have guessed," he said wryly, referring to my stunt in Italy. After a pause, he asked, "Don't worry about talking to Carlisle and Esme. Do you have any idea how much Carlisle and Esme love her too?" he asked.

"I think so," I replied.

He shook his head. "I don't think you do. They _adore_ her, Edward. Her going to Italy and bringing you home affected them profoundly. They were a wreck the whole time you were gone. Esme was bereft. But later, when Carlisle thought that Alice was going to be too late, well, he lost it completely. I'd never seen him lose his composure before. It was frightening."

"What do you mean?" I whispered. How had this been kept from me? They all must have been very careful not to think about it when I was around. "Show me," I whispered.

He stared into my eyes, remembering the scene. Carlisle standing next to him as he talked to Alice on the phone and hearing her say, _"Prepare Carlisle, the odds aren't good."_ Any little color Carylyle had in his face had drained away and his lips had twisted in pain. He'd wrapped his arms around his middle. Esme had grabbed him from behind as his knees buckled and he'd collapsed to the floor, kneeling and rocking with his arms around himself. Esme had followed him down to the floor, her beautiful face twisted in an expression of pain nearly as awful as his. _"No, no, please God, no!"_ he'd whispered. He'd begun to sob, choking and gasping.

I'd choked on the wave of emotion that fluttered out of Jasper, as he'd felt it and was now passing it on to me. Carlisle's crushing grief was astounding to me. I knew he loved me, but this was nearly as great as my pain when I'd thought I'd lost Bella. "Jesus," I whispered.

Jasper nodded sagely, and I heard him ask Carlisle in his memory_, "What can I do?"_

Carlisle had looked up at Jasper from his position on the floor and said, _"I know you don't believe as I do, Jasper, but please, just … pray."_ He and Esme had risen slowly and retreated to their bedroom, where Jasper and Emmett and Rose had listened to them pray aloud to the God they all didn't believe in that somehow a miracle would occur, and I would come home to them. His prayer echoed in my head, _"Dear God, bring my son home to me and I'll never ask for anything for myself ever again."_

If I could have cried, I would have. I have no idea what my face looked like at that moment, but Jasper was silent and patient as I processed what I had put my family through. I'd felt his fear for Alice – that she might not make it back, despite her assurances. I'd felt Rosalie's remorse and panic that I wouldn't return and Carlisle and Esme would blame her. I'd felt Emmett's frustration, knowing there was nothing he could do to make this right. Esme's anguish was every bit as deep as Carlisle's. She truly did think of me as her son. Her love for me was second only to her love for Carlisle. I was so selfish. Truly though, there was no way I could live without Bella. There was no way I could exist in a world where she didn't.

"I don't deserve any of you," I said quietly. My face must have calmed.

Jasper looked at me, and continued quietly. "When they saw you come off that plane with her in your arms, it was incredible. I'd never felt joy and relief from two people like I felt from them. And on top of that, if they didn't love Bella before, they do now. The gratitude they felt was overwhelming. They truly view her as a gift from God, sent to save you. They are nearly as devoted to her as you are. They feel that they can never repay her for bringing you home to them. They consider her just as much a part of this family as you do. Her bravery staggered them. Remember, Carlisle knows Aro and the rest of them. He knew what you were up against. In his mind, she is the miracle they prayed for. They are so grateful. They look at her and truly see the miracle they prayed for. Either of them would throw themselves in front of bullet for her, Edward, without even thinking twice."

"I don't know if I understand," I said in confusion.

He paused. "It's really odd. I don't know if I can describe it."

"Try," I encouraged. I was intrigued. I knew the emotions Bella engendered in me. It as strange how she seemed to provoke such strong emotion in so many of our kind. Why? It was a mystery to ponder.

"It's like they view her as … this family's savior. Carlisle truly believes that God has given him a gift, has given this whole family a gift, that makes it complete. He feels that it is now his job to make sure that he takes care of that gift; that no harm comes to her ever. It's like he has been given a task from God himself: 'Protect the miracle I gave you'. He has no intention of failing in that task, Edward. She is precious to them. He practically worships her. Not only for bringing love into your life, but for bringing you back to them. He would gladly give his life for Bella if he thought it was necessary. That's how serious he is about keeping her in this family and keeping her safe for you. Carlisle meant what he said when we were voting. I know you're upset with us for that, but Edward, he was serious. When he said, 'I won't lose my son', he meant it. You just don't know. It would destroy him to have you leave again. He knows losing Bella is the only thing that could cause that to happen now. He's always loved you best. Maybe because you were the first he made. I don't really know the reason behind his feelings for sure, but please, for my sake, don't ever make him feel that way again."

"Wow. I've always known they loved me. It is reassuring that they are devoted to Bella as well. I don't pretend to understand Carlisle's religious beliefs completely. I can't argue that she is a gift from God, though," I agreed. "I'm sorry you had to go through all that, Jasper."

He shrugged. "That's my fate, feeling what everyone else feels. I'm used to it now. It doesn't destroy me like it used to. I can detach from it most of the time, be objective about it. Only now and again, like the incident with Carlisle, do I curse this ability. And there are the benefits, like being able to feel, despite its improbability, how much Alice loves me. That stuns me every day. I don't deserve her either. I'll never know what she sees in me, but I'm selfish – I'll take it. She is my heart, Edward."

I smiled. "I don't know what's going to happen now. I do know this though. I will never be able to leave her again. I don't have it in me. I will never cause her that kind of pain again. I won't cause you that pain either. If we ever have to leave, I'll take her with me." I let Alice's memories and mine replay in my head; the things Alice and Jacob had seen. He sampled my mood as I thought of them.

"Ahhhh," he moaned, feeling my anguish over the pain I'd caused her.

I stopped. "So you see, whatever happens, I can't leave, I won't leave, and I promised her that I would never fail her again. Keeping that promise may be harder than I know, but I'm determined to keep my promise." I paused. "Will you help me?" I asked quietly.

He finally met my gaze, feeling my resolve that sat along-side my fear of failure. He nodded once. "You can count on me, Edward. I will protect her life as if it were my own, better, as if it were Alice's," he said, he said with small smile, knowing that her life meant more to him than his own, the same way Bella's meant more to me than my own. After a short pause, "I won't let you down … never again."

I smiled at him and held out my hand. He shook it, determination blazing in his amber eyes. I felt closer to him than I ever had. We both had women we couldn't live without. He already knew that Alice was my favorite in the whole family. He knew the special relationship that we shared because of our copasetic abilities. He had never been jealous of that connection we shared. Perhaps because he could feel what we both felt, a gentle affection and brother/sister love and respect, that it never bothered him. There was nothing remotely romantic or sexual about it.

Reading his contemplation, I could tell that he felt much better now. He felt that his promise and resolve to help me in some way atoned for his previous behavior. He wouldn't have to feel guilty about this forever. He was already going over various ideas for keeping her safe, running patrols at her house at night, among other things. I smiled. Giving him a purpose, a task, had been the right thing to do. Jasper was without a doubt, the most shrewd among us when it came to doing battle of any kind. He had an entire century of experience behind him before he ever met us and now he'd been with us for fifty years.

To be able to put those skills to use for a good purpose had a double benefit. One, it was the thing that he felt made him different from us, that made him the weak link, because he'd lived in that violence for so long. That battle mentality didn't have a place here, he thought, and so he was lost much of the time. Being able to use that skill for something other than mayhem and violence, would hopefully change his attitude about it. I wanted him to see that all our abilities, including his battle acumen could be used for ill or good. There was always a choice. I didn't want his past to be burden, but a blessing in some way. It would benefit Bella as well, and to me, that was the most important thing.

We'd returned to the house to find Alice on the front porch with a worried expression on her face. She hadn't tried to see the outcome of our discussion. We both tried to do our best to respect the privacy of the others in the house. She visibly relaxed when she saw us break through the trees, both smiling and looking relaxed.

She popped to her feet and Jasper blurred to her, and picked her up neatly by the waist. Her legs went around his waist, her hands around his neck and she grinned at him. "Have a nice talk?" she asked.

He grinned. "Like you don't know," he teased.

She made her face blank. "I don't, really. I purposely didn't look." I nodded at her as she looked over his shoulder at me and winked.

"Yes, we did. Let's go inside. Everything's fine … more than fine, actually."

"Are you going to tell me about it?" she asked.

He looked at me, and I nodded my permission for him to share whatever he wished. She would know soon enough. Alice gave me a thumbs-up behind his back as they turned away from me.

_"Thank you,"_ her mind whispered to me. _"You've helped him so much."_

They went inside, and I had taken off for Bella's house, silently crawling in her window to take up my usual nightly vigil at her bedside, keeping watch for all the bogeymen while she slept.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cullen Home

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After returning in the morning, having spent the night at Bella's, I went up to my room and changed my clothes. I went to see Carlisle, where he was sitting in his study, reading a medical text on neurological disorders. "Hey," he said without looking up. He finished his page and then sat back as I sat in the large wing back chair in front of his desk. "What's up?"

"I wanted to talk to you for a second."

"Of course." His mind was calm and serene. He wasn't really thinking about anything in particular.

"It's about Bella," I began.

"Is everything all right?" I felt worry spike through his mind.

"She's fine," I answered quickly. Wow, how had I missed this change in his reactions to news about Bella? The mere mention of her name sent him on alert. He was sitting up straight in his chair, staring at me like we were about to have a war conference. "Relax, Carlisle."

He took a deep breath and blew it out, settling back into his chair. "What do you need, Edward?"

"Jasper and I had a long talk yesterday."

"Yes, I heard. I'm glad you did. He seems more content now, not so morose all the time. Alice said you convinced him to stop beating himself up."

"I think so, I also enlisted his help to protect Bella and I hoped to turn his abilities as a fighter into something good for him, at least that was the purpose. I think it will work. Alice told me that his past is what's haunts him, and I knew that. He didn't think that past had a place here with us, so I think I thought of way to make that change. If he can use his past to protect someone, then it won't seem like such a bad thing."

"Clever, the logic fits. He is very shrewd, his mood ability notwithstanding. As a military man, as a hardened warrior for our kind, there isn't much that gets past him, even if he couldn't read your mood."

"I agree."

"But you said this was about Bella. Did you mean that you've set him to watch her?"

"Sort of. I'm going to talk to Emmett and Rosalie too. Her effusive apologizing is getting on my nerves. But I need all of you behind on me this. I can't be everywhere at once."

"Excellent. Rosalie is changing. This is the first time I've ever seen her concerned for anyone other than Emmett. And that's usually only as it relates to what she would lose. If Emmett were hurt, it would be a loss for her more than anything else. She is grateful to Bella though, loathe as she is to admit it."

I chuckled. "You are so tolerant, have always been so tolerant of her vanity and self-centeredness. How come?"

"She is a person, like the rest of us, shaped by her circumstances. Whatever else she was, or is, she was brutally violated by the worst that mankind has to offer. For that alone, she deserves happiness, and most of all, safety. Bella has changed us all."

"That was what I wanted to talk to you about."

He raised his eyebrows. _Has he changed his mind? _He wondered.

"No." I sighed. "Jasper told me about when I was gone," I said hesitantly.

"Oh," he said simply. He was wondering exactly what I was referring to. "It was a hard time for me."

"Yes, much harder than I realized. I'm sorry for that."

"Don't be, you were doing what you thought you had to do. I understood that, the need to be hunting Victoria, keep your mind occupied."

"He told me about your reaction when I went to Italy," I said softly.

He sank into the chair, a look of pain flitting across his face. "Yes, that was probably the worst time of my life, those two days."

"I'm so sorry, Carlisle. I didn't realize just how much pain I was causing to this whole family. You know that was never my intention."

"I do," he said simply. "Did he tell you everything?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, I don't think he left much out. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. He told me of your beliefs as they relate to Bella and what she means to this family."

He nodded. "You don't agree." It wasn't a question.

"To a point. I know she's changed all of us. I've contemplated the odd phenomenon that she seems to provoke especially strong emotions and reactions in all of our kind."

"That she does and I think that's not an accident."

"He said that you feel she is a miracle that was given to not just me, but this whole family and that it is your job to protect her."

He was silent a moment. "That about sums it up, yes."

"Do you really believe that, Carlisle? I mean, I've always known that you were a religious man at heart, but I find it hard to go this far in my thinking. She is human, after all."

"Not for long," he said with conviction.

I grumbled quietly in my chest, every time I thought of her changing. He merely smiled tolerantly. "Why is everyone so anxious to have her damned to this life!"

He sighed. "I understand your feelings on this, Edward. Let me see if I can explain where I'm coming from." I waited while he gathered his thoughts. One of the things that I liked about Carlisle was that he never spoke out of turn. He was always careful about the way he phrased things and was probably the most articulate creature I'd ever known. "It's not so much they we are eager for her to become like us. It goes way beyond that. You know as much as I do how adverse I would normally be to anyone joining us that has another choice. I would never have touched you if there was any chance that you might have survived. Same is true for Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. They were all at death's door."

"Yes, that's why I have a hard time believing this attitude, especially from you."

He took a deep breath. "I've always believed in God. I've always believed that he has a plan for us, but our free will messes with that sometimes. You with me so far?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so I believe that while God has a plan, our free will can change that plan. If God believes that we need something, or need to _learn_ something, he will put something or _someone_ in our path that we cannot avoid, cannot get around and must be influenced by. Got me?"

"Okay, I can buy that."

"Okay, in the same way, if God's plan is that someone has suffered long enough, or has learned enough to gain a reward for overcoming impossible circumstances, has turned something damnable into something good, then that is worthy of respect and reward, don't you think?"

"For instance, you never killing a human, and finding a way to live this life without taking human life, and then extending that to include others and spreading that goodness, or becoming a doctor to use these skills for good rather than evil?"

"Precisely. I'm not the only one that has done that."

"We've all done it because of you though, initially anyway."

"I know that, but we were all rewarded, Edward. Me with Esme, Rosalie with Emmett, and Alice and Jasper found each other."

"Now you think it's my turn?" I asked incredulously. I laughed.

He wasn't laughing. He was staring at me with a perfectly straight face. _No one deserves happiness more than you do, Edward. We've all suffered, but you the most, because you've had to do it alone._

"No, I wasn't alone, I had you guys."

"It's not the same and you know it!" he said, more harshly than he usually ever spoke to me. I sat back in my chair, surprised. "Sorry, I just feel so frustrated that you can't believe that you deserve good things in your life, Edward. It's a source of constant consternation for me. You have such a pure, good, wonderful core, and yet, you refuse to believe that fate, or God, might reward you for that."

I was silent, unsure how to address that.

He sighed. "Edward, please listen to me. I struggled with it, but I have come to believe in a few things, whether they make total sense or not to you. You know that I love you as if you were my own son. To me, _you are my son. _I love this whole family, but you were always special, Edward. You were first. You were the one that began this wonderful family, this odyssey I've lived. Your beauty, goodness, and your mother's loving, desperate plea started all of this." He waved his arms around the room.

I felt a pang thinking of my mother. Until I'd overheard him talking to Bella that fateful night he'd sewn up her arm, I had never known that my mother begged him to save me. How the hell he'd hidden that from me all these years, I'll never know. I felt another spurt of love for my mother. I didn't think of her often, but it was always with love.

"It always bothered me that you were the one, despite everything, that was never truly happy among us."

"I was happy."

"No, Edward. You were content, accepting of your fate, and you learned to live with it. You made the best of it, you spent your time wisely and became the best and brightest of us all." He looked me in the eye. "But you've never been _happy._"

I swallowed hard, trying to decide if he was right. I shrugged.

"See that makes it worse, you don't even care that you weren't happy, just resigned. Of all of us, you deserve happiness. You deserve to be loved."

"I am loved."

"By a woman, Edward. You deserve to have intimacy and the love of a soul mate, the way the rest of us do. You have no idea how much easier this life is with someone at your side, someone to share with. It's a connection that cannot be duplicated with brothers and sisters, or mothers and fathers. It's so different there aren't even words to describe it."

I thought of his love for Esme and how I'd always thought of it as legendary. In our world, it was. Our kind forming the kind of love and devotion to one another that they felt was virtually unheard of. "I've always envied you but I've never been jealous or resented it," I stated.

"I know that, but you deserve to have it as much as the rest of us and I believe God has decided that it is your time. You have earned it more than any of us have. It's your time, Edward." He paused. "I've done a lot of praying in my lifetime, Edward. Despite what I am, I always believed in God and that there was a reason I became what I was. It was up to me to decide what to do with what I'd been given. I've prayed for many, many things in my life."

He paused, swallowed hard and his voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. "But I have never prayed so hard, so sincerely. I have never _begged_ God for anything in my entire 364 years." He met my gaze. "That night, Edward, that I thought you were going to destroy yourself, and Alice was not going to be in time," he trailed off. "_I begged, Edward. I begged God for your life._ I offered my life for yours. I begged him to save you. I begged for a miracle. I promised to never ask for anything for myself ever again, if only he would do this one thing for me. Save you. I even threatened him." I gasped. "I told him if he didn't save you, then I would lose all faith in him, and I wouldn't ever be able to believe in him again. I didn't care how. I didn't care if there was a price, even my own life, if he would save you and bring you home."

I knew this. Jasper had told me, but it was hitting me all over again. Carlisle loved me more than I ever deserved. But that he begged, that he threatened his own faith, an essential part of who he was, no, I hadn't known that. I realized what that meant. "I don't deserve any of you," I whispered.

Then he smiled widely. "God answered my prayers, Edward, and he didn't ask for my life in return."

I flashed a smile of sadness. "Carlisle, I don't even know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. You need to accept the gift."

"I did, I came home."

"That's not what I meant." I stared at him. "Bella was the gift, Edward. To you, to me, to this whole family. I never wanted anything in my life the way I wanted you to be saved. God gave that to me and I will spend the rest of my existence doing what I can to protect that gift, to protect my family. I love you all, but this family depends on her. She has changed us all. Without her, everything will fall apart. I feel it in my heart, in my bones."

"Well, I fall apart without her, that much is plain," I stated.

He smiled again, happily now. "Did you have other questions?"

"No, I just was talking to everyone to secure their help in protecting her if I need it, you know," I hesitated. "Until the time comes," I said softly. It was my first small concession that I was bending, that I was beginning to accept what they all viewed as inevitable.

His smile lit up the room. He realized my innocuous sounding qualifier for what it was. "We don't do it lightly, Edward. I really think it is God's will or I wouldn't even consider it. You know that."

"I know, but it's not time yet."

"Not yet," he agreed. He stood and came around the desk as I stood up. He pulled me to him and hugged me fiercely. "Esme and I are devoted to her, to this whole family, Edward. You never have to doubt that."

"I never have," I said. We separated and I left. There was nothing left to say.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bella's Bedroom

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It seemed incomprehensible to me that I could have screwed this up so badly. Yet, I knew I had. My arrogance was never more obvious. I'd held so stubbornly to the idea that she would be better off without me. That might have been true if I had never entered her life in the first place. I could see now that fate had started the wheel turning, intertwining us like two halves of a whole, and there was no way that either of us could ever function properly without the other. Odd, that my biggest arrogance was thinking that because she was human, she was incapable of feeling the same depth of emotion that I felt and that she would forget me and move on. This was the worst arrogance, I realized now, almost condescending. I would never be so stupid again. Inadvertently, I'd insulted her with my assumption. I remembered thinking that she could hardly compare a 17 year old crush with a century of building passion and love – that the love I felt for her would break her human body – that she wouldn't be able to contain it.

When had she ever been a normal human, responded the way normal humans responded? She literally put aside centuries of genetic self-preservation instincts to simply be alone with me. She never took off running and screaming from any of the various horrors I had introduced into her life. She had, from the beginning, never responded the way I thought a human ought to respond to me, or any of my family for that matter. Why had I thought she would be the same as any other normal human if I left? Her capacity for love and all things emotional was vast. I could see the sheer stupidity of my assumption now, but it was too late for that.

I stared at the screen, her phrases flipping through my mind like demonic flash cards.

_'It feels like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. I'm all right, except when I'm alone, which is most of the time now. _

_'Jacob's gone, he's hunting Victoria, and Charlie is hunting Jake, and you're gone, and so is … Edward. There's just nothing now. _

_'What? Did you expect to find me jumping around and whistling show tunes? You know me better than that … guess I don't have the corner on the idiocy market'._

No she didn't. I held that corner.

I clenched my teeth until my iron jaw actually almost hurt. What had I done? Not only had I not protected her by leaving, I'd left her in mortal danger, first to face Laurent, then to be hunted by Victoria. I'd left her alone without any protection. Well, she had the werewolves, thank God, but I didn't know that at the time. I was so sure she would be safe in Forks. In addition, I'd caused her so much pain. I would never be able to make up for it if I lived a hundred thousand years. How stupid could I have been? I knew what it felt like now to think that I had lost her forever. I knew the ripping pain and agony of thinking she had killed herself. Despite her lame excuses to Alice, I wasn't entirely convinced that she hadn't hoped for death. I know I did when I thought I'd lost her.

It seemed strange, even now, that she could possibly feel for me one-tenth of the love and devotion I felt for her, but apparently it was true. I'd been the colossal idiot of all idiots. I didn't deserve her. However, the best I could do now was never hurt her again. To that end, I was going to read these passages in this computer journal. It would be my secret. She would never know. I felt slightly guilty, wondering if I was just piling one more sin on the pile of my transgressions, but I needed to know.

These passages didn't do anything to dispel the notion that I wasn't nearly as smart as thought I was. Well, might as well see just how badly I'd botched everything up. I didn't want to spare myself. I wanted to know what I had put her through, if for no other reason, than to make sure that I never did anything remotely like it again. I'd promised her I would never fail her again. I meant to keep that promise. I couldn't read her mind, which pleased her and frustrated me to no end. Still. But this journal she was now keeping, now that we had returned gave me a small window into the workings of her mind. At least now I knew that she was important to the rest of my family as well. They all loved her and they all would help me. Even Rosalie, who didn't love her as the others did, respected her and admired her. She also felt that she owed me, and I wasn't going to disabuse her of the notion for now, since it worked to my advantage. Perhaps in time, she would love Bella also. I hoped so.

As much credit as I had always given Bella for her intelligence, her emotional constancy, her perceptiveness, her intuitive leaps of logic, I realized I had always sold her short. As much as I'd admired all those qualities about her, I had not realized the depth of her mind, her capacity for forgiveness, compassion, her unswerving loyalty. I needed to read the rest.

Now, at least, after talking to the rest of my family one by one, I had secured their promises, each of them, to help me protect Bella in any way they could should danger come calling. I hadn't needed to talk to Alice. I knew she considered Bella one of her best friends, something she had predicted long before the rest of us knew what was going on. Victoria was still out there. None of them had forgotten the debacle in Phoenix. None of them wanted to a repeat of that hideous day and night.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Cullen House

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Even Rosalie, my most aloof, sarcastic, and self-centered family member, had promised to help if she could. Later, days after our return from Italy, she'd caught me in a rare moment alone in my room. She asked if she could come in. I waved her in and she smiled at me stretched out on the canopied bed I'd installed for Bella, while I was reading a book.

"What are you reading?" she'd asked, as she perched lightly on the edge of the comforter.

"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", I replied.

She laughed her bell-tone chortle and I chuckled with her. "Still trying to figure her out?" she asked lightly.

I frowned. "I'll always be trying to figure her out. I left human behind so long ago that I'd all but forgotten the dynamics of a male-female relationship outside that of a brother-sister set up. I never had a serious relationship when I was human. Bella resurrected all those human emotions and feelings with a vengeance, and they haven't been quiet since. I thought I was content before I met her. I haven't had a moment's peace since I found her, but I wouldn't trade one minute of my time with her even for all that." I stared at the ceiling, waiting for her to say whatever it was she'd come to say. I purposely blocked out her thoughts, not wanting to intrude. I could see from the look on her face that this was difficult for her, whatever it was that she'd come to say.

"Edward, I want to say something to you, and you probably already know what it is," she said softly.

"Some, I'm trying to block it actually."

She smiled softly. "I know I apologized and I want to do that again. I'm so sorry for the way I acted."

"I know that, Rosalie, no need to keep apologizing. Apology accepted. It's in the past."

"There's more," she said simply. I raised my eyebrow, waiting. "I know my vanity got in the way of our relationship from the beginning," she began.

I bit my cheek to suppress the grin that wanted to appear. She scowled at me.

"But I want you to know that it's not all about that. It was, at first, and I feel even more stupid about that. With Bella, you know that I'm also just plain jealous that she is human."

"I know, but we see humans every day, Rosalie."

"But they don't know what we are. I don't get to interact, and talk, and watch them as closely as I've gotten to with Bella. Her life is so different from the one I led as a human. She's much more mature than I was at that age in so many ways. In other ways, she's not."

I scrunched my brow, unsure of what she was getting at. Her thoughts were scattered, and not focused.

"In my time, your time, when we were human … life was different. People had different priorities. People grew up faster. Life was shorter for one thing. You were an adult at 16 or 17. That was the age you got married, entered the army, became a wife or husband, or had children. No one thought you were too young for that. It's different now. Women are allowed to do so much more, be so much more. They can be educated, have careers. Their lives aren't predetermined by the man that they are with or the expectations of being a housewife. I'm not sure if you can understand this."

"I think I can, although I'm not sure where you going with it," I admitted.

She nodded. "If Bella becomes one of us, she will miss out on so much. Having children, setting up a home, and watching her parents grow old, things that don't happen now-a-days for teenagers, doesn't happen till much later in life. More than that, a potential career maybe."

"I know that," I said curtly.

She smiled softly. "This is the one area where you and I actually agree, isn't it?"

I chuckled. "I guess it is. I want her to stay human, as hard as that is for me. I keep trying to find excuses to drag it out, put it off and convince her that we can be together in spite of our differences for a long while yet."

"I have mixed feelings on the subject. On the one hand, I agree with you one-hundred percent. Anyone who has the chance to stay human should. None of us had a choice. She is unique in that way, that she can choose."

"I know," I replied simply.

"In another way, I understand the need for a companion, a lover. You know how much I've always feared being alone. The idea scares me stiff. Despite what you may think, I do want you to be happy, Edward." She paused. "Honestly, I don't know how you've spent over a hundred years alone. I don't really see how lasting happiness can be yours unless she is one of us. But I voted no on principle and my lust for all things human, not because I don't like her, or have any objection to her personally. You understand?" I nodded. "Not because I don't want you to be happy, or I'm jealous of her or the way you feel about her." She paused again. "I want to ask your permission to do something," she said quietly, she said, finally getting to the point.

"What?"

"I want to speak with her. Have you told her my story, Edward?" she inquired.

"No."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "You haven't?"

"No, I told her about Carlisle and Esme, and I told her that you saved Emmett from being mauled by a bear and had Carlisle change him for you, but that's about it."

"What have you told her about me?"

"Just that you were changed by Carlisle after me and Esme, and after being attacked. I didn't give her any details."

"She's asked about me, hasn't she? About why I was so hostile?"

"Yes."

"What did you say?" she asked curiously.

"I just said that you wished you were human like she was."

She nodded gravely. "Thank you … for not, telling her how petty I was," she finished.

I nodded. "You want me to tell her your story?" That confused me some. I wasn't sure what the point would be.

She shook her head negatively. "No, _I_ want to tell her."

"Why?"

"Because maybe it will help her to realize how much she will be giving up. If I were to explain to her the things I wanted … marriage, a home, children, and how that was all ripped away from me, perhaps it would make her consider the alternatives, the things she would be missing. I feel I owe her something for my ghastly behavior. Maybe she can forgive me. It might help you convince her to at least wait a while."

I contemplated that for a bit. "It might. I don't have any objection to it. But you must promise me something, Rosalie," I qualified.

"What?"

"You will never be mean to her again," I stated emphatically. She was already nodding her head in agreement. "You will _not_ scare her, and you will _never_ make her feel unwelcome in this house again, do you understand me?" I said quietly, but with resolve.

"Edward, I'm truly sorry, and not just to you. I'm sorry for the way I treated her, the way I made her feel. I'm sorry that I scared her. That's not really who I am, and you know it. I was so insanely jealous of her," she admitted quietly. "Now though, I want her forgiveness."

"She would find that funny, you know," I stated.

She smiled at that. "When I realized what you planned to do in Italy," she whispered. She made a small choking sound. "I'd never felt so horrified in all my life, and I've felt pretty horrible at times." She paused. "When I realized there was nothing we could do to stop you, I was panicked. Horrified that we would lose you, horrified about what would happen when Esme and Carlisle realized that they had lost you and it was my fault. It was going to devastate them, I could see that, and it was my fault. I was so afraid they would hate me for it, and they would have been justified. I could see them asking me to leave and never darken their doorway again."

I touched her hand lightly where it lay on the bedspread. "It wasn't your fault, Rosalie. They would never ask you to leave."

"Yes, it was my fault. I never should have told you."

"You thought it was true. How could any of know that Alice couldn't see the werewolves, couldn't see her get saved? How could any of us have known that for once, Alice's vision wasn't complete?"

She shook her head. "Doesn't matter. It wasn't my place to tell you. I stupidly thought it would bring you home. I knew how much Carlisle and Esme missed you. I knew how much Alice mourned your absence. I was sick of their moping around because you were gone." She sighed. "But, I do know what love feels like Edward. I know what it feels like to lose love when Royce betrayed me. I know what it feels like to find real love, when I found Emmett. I know what it feels like to need someone so desperately that you will do anything to keep them with you, even though you can barely stand your own fate."

I knew she was referring to the decision to try and save Emmett, despite the fact that she would have not chosen this life for herself, had she been given a choice. She really wasn't a bad person, just one that had been shaped by circumstances so different from mine that I had trouble wrapping my head around it. Under all the bluster and braggadocio was a woman with true feelings of love and remorse.

She continued when I remained silent. "When Alice told us that she and Bella were going after you, I was shocked. I couldn't believe that a human would pick up without a moment's notice and run off to try and save one of us. The thought of the Volturi scares the crap out of me, Edward. If I had my choice, I would never be in the same room with them, let alone piss them off. The stories I've heard make my hair stand on end. That she was willing to face them, breach their city, risk their ire to just make you see that she was alive … well, I realized just how … small … of a person I'd become." She hung her head. "How small a person I've always been."

I patted her hand again. "It's all in the past now, Rosalie."

She looked up and met my gaze. "She is the bravest person I've ever met, Edward," she said sincerely. "The bravest human and possibly even more brave than the vampires I know. They at least have some defense against our own kind. But her, she had nothing but her absolute selflessness and her love for you. I've never been that selfless in my entire existence. I don't even know if I'm capable of it. It staggers me even now to think about it," she whispered.

I smiled at her softly. "Me too. I've tried to tell you guys how special she is from the beginning. I don't pretend to understand her in all ways, certainly. God knows, much of her is a mystery to me. The fact that I can't read her thoughts is a never-ending source of frustration for me. But it makes her happy that I can't, so I try not to let it bother me too much. But I know this. After what she did for me … there is absolutely NOTHING that I won't do for her. Nothing that I won't do to keep her safe and by my side and … HAPPY. I want this whole family's support on that, Rosalie." I paused. "Did I tell you about Aro?"

"You said he couldn't see her thoughts."

"Yes, but Rosalie, you should have seen her! She was so scared, but Aro asked if he could touch her, and she looked at me. I nodded at her, knowing there was no way to prevent it really. I also knew he was merely curious and had no doubts. He was sure he could read her and she intrigued him. She looked at him, and walked right up to him like he was anybody, and held out her hand like she was bestowing a great honor. You should have seen the look on his face. If I hadn't been so scared, I would have laughed."

Rosalie chuckled. "She is unique, that's for sure."

"If I ever need you in the future, to help keep her safe," I paused. She looked up and waited patiently. "If I call on you … will you come?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, Edward. You call on me and I will be there, whatever you ask. I owe you that."

I shook my head. "You don't owe me anything."

"I owe HER that. I owe this family that," she said with conviction. "She didn't just save you, Edward. She saved this family. It might have fallen apart without you. I see that now. I never wanted to admit that, that you are so central to this family. I tend to forget how much you go through to protect us. How grueling it must be to be checking the thoughts of those around you constantly to make sure that our secret is safe. How difficult it must be to hear things about others and yourself that you don't want to hear. How hard it must be to filter all the junk. How you stay sane I'll never know. It may not seem like it, but I do love being a part of this family. I'm proud we live the way we do. I could never have stood being alone after I was changed. I'll always be grateful that you all put up with me. When you were gone I realized just how much we all depend on you, and I'm sorry for so many things, I can't even really begin to tell you. You just don't know. Not just the way I've treated you, although I'm very sorry for that too. You know, you irritated me from the first time I heard you speak," she admitted.

I merely smiled.

"But I realize now that it was my vanity, and your words had merit although I couldn't see it at the time. I don't feel that way anymore, Edward. I want you to know that. Much later, I realized that beauty is not always important, and it can be a curse, and it take away from people liking you for who you are inside." She paused for several moments, as though gathering courage for something more. Finally, she said softly, "I love you, Edward, as a brother, and as a friend, despite the way I've acted, despite how I may act in the future. Please remember that, no matter what. Whether Bella becomes a vampire or not I do consider her a member of the family. I admire her, and I will help you do whatever needs to be done to keep her safe. You have my word." She nodded curtly, as if to put a point on it.

I set my book down on the bed, and sat up, sliding to edge of the bed to sit next to her. She looked surprised when I wrapped my arms around her waist and put my head on her shoulder. She gasped quietly, but then relaxed against me, and patted my back gently with her hand. I couldn't remember if I'd ever hugged her, so probably not. I whispered in her ear, "Thank you, Rosalie for coming to talk to me. Thank you for your promise. It means a lot to me. We may always irritate each other, but you are my sister and I do love you. And yes, if the opportunity presents itself, tell Bella your story. It couldn't hurt."

She chuckled quietly. "I'll do that." Her expression was swimming with relief. She hugged me back quickly, and then released her hold.

Emmett cleared his throat from the doorway. "Unhand her you fiend! What the hell is going on in here? Do I have to bust your head, Edward?" he joked, growling in mock consternation.

Rosalie pulled out of my embrace and stood up. We both smiled at him. I saw Alice in the hall behind him and she winked at me. She'd told Emmett to wait when he would have come to interrupt our talk. She told him that something important was being discussed and he should keep his nose out of it until we were done. He'd waited, not so patiently, but when Alice had seen the discussion wind down and our hug, she'd given him the go-ahead to come interrupt.

"Nope, no busting heads today, Emmett," I replied calmly.

He snapped his fingers in regret. "Damn."

We all chuckled, and they waved as they all trailed back into the house. Alice quietly shut the door behind her.

I heard Emmett ask, "What the hell was that all about?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bella's Bedroom

Bella's Journal

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I've had some time to think since my moronic stunt of jumping off the cliff at La Push. I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, hearing his bell-tone voice vibrating with emotion, begging me not to do it was one of the more potent memories from the time he was gone. Feeling okay as the cold water froze my muscles and I gave up the fight, knowing that at least I'd gotten to hear him one last time wasn't so bad either. Second, it was Alice seeing her vision and coming here that was the catalyst for bringing him back into my life. On the other hand, it was stupid. If I had drowned, I would have destroyed Charlie. Odd that the same day, I had almost convinced myself to try and go on with my life, maybe even include Jacob in it as more than a friend. I would have been honest with him, and he would have taken all my broken pieces, knowing that I could never feel for him what he felt for me. I'm glad now that I didn't.

"I love Jacob and I always will. He is supposed to be a part of my life, of that I'm sure, but not as a romantic interest, but as family. Jacob's smile is like a healing balm. I will see him smile again. He saved me from myself so many times. I owe him that. He's always so happy to see me, there is no way not to respond to that kind of enthusiasm for my company. Truth be told, I enjoy his company also, more than I probably should. I love him, but I'm not _in _love with him. It wasn't fair that I let it go so long, that I let him believe there was chance that I would ever run right without Edward in my life. But I needed him so much. He was my life-line. His calm patience and understanding finally made me live like something other than a zombie again. The biggest miracle was that he could even make me laugh. As he'd said about imprinting, it's hard to resist that level of attention and devotion.

"He knew what Edward had done to me by leaving. He promised me that he would never hurt me and that I could count on him, that he would never let me down. And honestly, other than his brief two-week mystery avoidance while he adjusted to being a werewolf, he never had. Jacob was a true friend, constant and loving. He'd never let me down. He'd pissed me off numerous times, but when it counted, when I needed him, he had never let me down. Now I've hurt him, and I honestly don't know what to do about that, but I have to make it right somehow. I haven't figured that one out yet. It doesn't help that Edward hates even the sound of his name.

"I can't seem to convince him that I'm safe with Jacob. Jacob would never hurt me. When I realized he was a werewolf, and he thought I was repulsed and had come to say goodbye, he'd gotten so upset that he'd shook like a maple leaf in a windstorm, but he hadn't phased, and he hadn't hurt me. Even with his distrust of Alice a mere five feet away and shaking like a leaf with me in his arms after collapsing when I heard about Edward, he hadn't phased, he hadn't hurt me. Even when I told him that James had bit me, and he panicked, he hadn't phased, and he hadn't hurt me. Despite his fears because of what happened to Emily, I know that like Edward, he never wants to hurt me, SO MUCH SO, that I don't think he's capable of it. He might hurt me with words, but he would never hurt me physically. He has more control than anyone gives him credit for, more even maybe than Sam. Well, I have to be patient with Edward. He doesn't know Jacob like I know him.

"Things are so different now. I know that Edward left because he thought it was the right thing to do. Honestly though, I will never understand how he came to that decision. On what planet did he think being apart would be any easier for me than it was for him? I mean, really, what color is the sky in his world?

"As Cathy said in Wuthering Heights, the universe turned into a mighty stranger with him gone. There was simply no point to anything without him. I functioned, I used Jake to make life bearable just so Charlie wouldn't send me away, but honestly, I really didn't care what happened to me.

"He's back now and my epiphany, that he really does love me, despite it making no sense at all, is still rooted in my heart. I still live in fear every time he goes away. I know he's only hunting, but there is always that pang of fear as I ask myself, 'Will this be the time he doesn't come back?' I know this is irrational. He promised me that he will erase my doubts with time, despite my request that he make me no promises. Before my epiphany, I was so terrified that hope would do me in, like nothing else had. Losing him once was as near to death as I've ever been. Losing him again, I wouldn't survive. I don't know how to explain to him that I believe he does have a soul because my soul is bound to his in a way that cannot be broken. Without him, I have no soul. We are soul-mates. My heart and soul is irrevocably and unconditionally his. No can ever take his place. With him gone, half my self, half my soul, is gone. I will have him, or I have no one.

"He hoped I would move on. Move on! Ridiculous to think such a thing were possible. If he had not returned, I would not have had a normal, happy life. Normal holds no appeal for me. From the moment I saw him, normal ceased to be a factor in my life like he thought. Without him, happiness was impossible, an idea only, meant for others. There could be no happiness without him. Comfort, yes, love as I feel for my family, yes, but happiness, true happiness died the day he left.

"Truth be told, I've never been normal anyway. Even before he entered my life, everything was always slightly off-kilter. I was the parent, my mother was the child. I was the responsible one, she was the erratic, irresponsible, eccentric adventurer. I never fit in anywhere. I was never a cheerleader, a jock, or any other quantifiable thing. I was a reader. I was intelligent, but I was no genius. I never went to a school dance, had a boyfriend, or got interested in any particular activity. People my own age irritated me. I put up with them because I had no choice. I was never a social butterfly. I didn't attend school events or sports events. I was just sleep-walking through my life now that I think about it. Things that scared others never scared me. Perhaps it was because I didn't care about myself enough to instill fear for my well-being. I knew this was backwards.

I'd always suspected that my brain didn't work exactly right. That it was on a different wave-length than ninety-nine percent of my peers. I'd never found one human being that I connected with on a level deeper than benign tolerance. Is it so strange then that I may have been destined to be with someone other than a human? Jacob is the one exception to that rule. I connected with him, and he's not completely human either. So what does that say about me? Edward not being able to hear my thoughts was just another confirmation that my brain is not normal. I am not normal, was never normal, and I never will be. What's so great about normal, anyway? That's what I'd like to know. I never found it to have any redeeming qualities.

"That's why Edward's insistence on the prom last year was so incomprehensible to me. Why on earth would I give a flying crap about the PROM? I'd never even attended a school dance or a basketball game. There were few things in the world that could hold LESS interest for me than the ridiculous ritual of attending and end of school-year dance in a stupid dress and tripping over my feet as I tried not to embarrass myself royally. Fortunately for me, Edward saved me from dancing disgrace, but that's beside the point. He just didn't get it. Honestly, I still don't think that he does. Maybe he never will. He doesn't want me to miss these 'human' experiences as he calls them. He and Rose and Alice all have this warped idea of what they think being human is all about, which events are significant or what they think they ought to mean to me. It's been a long time since any of them were human, Alice doesn't even remember it all and the times have changed so much, I don't know how they can really ever truly understand. On the other hand, I know they mean well, but they are so out of touch with who I am sometimes its maddening.

"What he doesn't seem to realize is that I would have missed these things anyway. They held no interest for me. Even before he came along, these things were not in my path. They were not things that I yearned for. They were not things of interest to me. I never longed to participate. I never minded being alone. I always felt that there was probably a purpose to my life, but I didn't know what it was yet. I'd never found my niche. Other than devouring books at the speed of light, I'd never had any particular stand-out talent. I was a good reader, I was good cook, and I was fairly competent and walking through daily chores without complaint. But that's about it. I never felt completely human in the first place. Clearly I was missing a cog somewhere, because I couldn't relate to others on any significant level, never had. I wouldn't miss out on these 'human' experiences because I'd never wanted them in the first place. Why couldn't they understand that? My life was all about being responsible and making life easier for those around me. Why not? It didn't matter to me either way. So I took care of Renee, and now I took care of Charlie, and I tried to do the best to make my friends enjoy their life, and enjoy the things that were important to them, even if they meant truly nothing to me.

"It's like my whole life I was waiting. I was waiting for the one thing, or the one person to come along that would make everything make sense for me. Was it fate? Was it destiny? Was it preordained? I have no idea, and honestly, at this point, don't really care. What I do know is that my life didn't begin until Edward entered it. With all the beauty, speed, strength, and breathtaking brilliance of an eclipse, he entered my life and gave it meaning. There is nothing I want to experience without him. Why is this so hard for him to understand?

"Was not my ability to accept the strange, repress fear and unpleasantness, keep a secret, disinterest in my normal, boring, human life, designed specifically for him? Could anyone less dynamic have even caught my interest? I doubt it. No one ever had. Aside from that, the ability to keep my head private; was that not designed for him also? He might not admit it, but I know it intrigues him that he can't read my thoughts. I felt like a science experiment in the beginning. I couldn't comprehend that he would have interest in me for any other reason. I know that this was the thing that drew him to me originally, after my blood of course, and I have come to be thankful for it. His beauty stuns me again and again, no matter how many times I look at him, it hits me anew. I feel like a dry husk standing next to him. How he can be so cavalier and unaware of his breathtaking beauty is an ongoing mystery to me. I don't doubt that others find his attraction to me as much of a mystery as I do.

"I can guarantee that Jessica does. She's so shallow though. His beauty is all that matters to her. Unlike Edward's delusions, she knows that I am plain, ordinary, and nothing special to look at. She can't understand what he sees in me, and neither do I for that matter. Angela is different. She is easy to be with, kind, and goes with the flow. She sees people for who they are on the inside, not what they look like on the outside. This is evidenced by her relationship with Ben, a man six inches shorter than she is. Clearly, appearances are not important to Angela and I admire her for that. I also enjoy that she is always willing to listen and be a true friend without prying the way Jessica does.

"But back to the subject at hand. Without Edward, I would have grown old, filled with pain, and … alone. There may have been bright spots; Jacob's friendship and my parents' love. But there would never be another man in my life as a true soul mate. I would never have married, and had children with someone else. I'd never wanted these things in the first place. There was no point to anything without him. Having had him in my life, no one can even come close to taking his place.

"His stubborn insistence that I stay human is aggravating. As I told Jacob, he's all I want. What else can I do? I want eternity. I want forever. I want more than one life time with Edward. As I told him when he left, he can have my soul, I don't want it without him. He IS my soul. Doesn't he get that? Without him, I was a dead shell. The hole in my heart was ragged and throbbed at the mere mention of his name. I had no soul, no life or happiness, without him. I know I am meant to be with him. As unbelievable as it may have been to me in the beginning, we are meant to be together. I feel this in the very depths of my being.

"The rest of the family seems to be happy that they are back in Forks. Even Rosalie. My talk with her was unexpected and informative. We may never be friends, like I am with Alice, but at least I feel like we understand each other a little better. She even smiles at me now and then. I didn't argue with her over the finer points of staying human. Her story is her story and I understand where she is coming from. On the other hand, we are two VERY different people. Her reasoning simply doesn't apply to me. My circumstances and hers are worlds apart. I was never beautiful. I was never savaged as she was. I never gave a thought to children or wanted any. My life was always about making others happy and putting myself, second. She feels her life was ripped away from her prematurely. She doesn't understand that my life was ripped away from me the day he left. That I didn't HAVE a life before Edward came along. There was nothing from my old life that I would miss, except maybe my parents.

"Charlie told Alice that it wasn't like someone had left me, it was like someone had died. That was true. I died. It wasn't just the loss of the love, although that was the largest part. It was the loss of an entire future, and a whole family,_ a life_ that I had counted on, that I had wanted in the worst way. Still do. What they all don't seem to realize is that while I'm in love with Edward, love him more, possibly, than anyone in the history of world has ever loved anyone, I love them too. I am in awe of Carlisle and his compassion, Esme and her passionate motherly caring for the whole family, Alice for her friendship, Emmett for his laughter and amusement and acceptance, Jasper for his efforts and even for his remorse. And even Rosalie, now that I understand her better, holds a place in my heart. They are my family as surely as Charlie, Renee, Jacob and Billy. I want what they have – Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, Jasper and Alice. I want to be Edward's other half, as eternal with my love as they are with theirs'. To be part of that family is my life, my destiny. I felt it.

"So when they left, love wasn't the only thing that died. My future died, my family died, my life died. There was nothing left to hold onto, nothing to look forward to, no point to anything at all. There is no way, no words to describe the wrenching sense of loss that consumed me for all those months. The English language does not have words for that kind of pain. My old, boring, non-life was not enough, would never be enough ever again. It wasn't interesting or enough before he came along. Now it was worse than nothing. It was a black hole of sleepwalking and avoiding pain from memories and hopes of what could now never be. It was hell.

"They have voted, sans Rosalie, to make me a member of their family. Timing is the only question. The feeling of my expanding heart, that my chest might not contain it, that flooded me when I realized that they wanted me as part of their family was overwhelming. I'd never felt acceptance like that before. I'd never felt like I belonged anywhere. I can still remember the feel of Esme hugging me as though I were her daughter. I belong with the Cullens. This is an indisputable fact of my life, perhaps the purpose for it. It feels right, more right than anything in my miserable short life has ever felt. There are no doubts for me, no resistance, no second-guessing. I belong with them. I just wish there was a way to make Edward see the same thing. But he is 110 years old. I guess you can't change the spots on a leopard. It will take time. I'm just hoping that I can make him see reason before time runs out for me. Before Victoria, or the next monster that I offend decides that my life should end prematurely. If God made both humans and vampires, is it not plausible that he designed those that were to become vampires, matched sets. Did he not make Esme for Carlisle and create her circumstance to bring her to him? Did he not make Emmett and put him in Rosalie's path? Did he not give Alice a gift that allowed her to find Jasper, the one he made for her? So how can I make Edward realize that I was made for him? I feel this deep in my bones.

"I live in fear that my time will run out. I'm afraid that I will not convince him in time that I should be with him for eternity and some disaster will take me out before either of us is ready. I'll never be ready for that. I don't want to be the wilting flower, hiding in my room, hiding at La Push. It bothers me that they, along with Jake run around my house at night protecting me from unseen dangers. It's all so ridiculous. I want to be able to protect myself. I've spent my entire life taking care of myself. Can't they understand how offensive it is to me to depend on them for my safety? I hate feeling helpless and I feel like a burden to them. I want to be a member of the Cullen family, worthy to stand by Edward's side and feel like I have some right to be there. Now I just feel like I'm a job to them, a task to perform. _'Keep me safe so Edward doesn't go nuts and make your life miserable.'_

I belong with the Cullens, and I belong with Edward in every way. I can't continue to be so much 'less than' the rest of them. I need to be equal to him. That won't happen until he changes me. I feel this in my heart also. My love, my life, my heart will not be complete, until it stops beating; stops beating for him, because he has made me worthy to stand by his side … for eternity.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wow. Just wow. Her logic was almost enough to assail my good sense. I chuckled silently. Would I ever stop being amazed by her? She was absolutely crazy and nuts and I loved her for it with a fervor that was staggering. The warm tingles that ran through my body when I touched her still had to power to make my steel legs buckle. I could argue with fate as much as I liked, but she was right. We were meant to be together. We differed, however, on the mechanics and precise way in which we were meant to be together. She was too young to know all the things she would be missing and giving up. Rosalie was right about that. Then again, was I being the arrogant fool again? Was I stubbornly hanging onto my resolve to keep her human because I really wanted her to have the choice, because I really thought she would miss something that she would regret later? Was it possible that God had made her for me?

Or did I just hate to be wrong? Hate it so much that I was making it worse for her. I'd been wrong about so many other things, I no longer trusted myself. Maybe she would have missed all those things anyway because she wasn't a 'normal' human being. NO, I couldn't believe that. The irony was that because we had entered her life, everything else paled in comparison for her now. We were not supposed to exist. So the enjoyment she may have derived from events had we never come on the scene, might be washed out now, and insignificant in the face of what she now wanted.

She didn't want to marry me, the condition I'd set down for her to have me be the one to change her, when the time came. Did her eagerness for immortality trump her desire to be with me? That was a sobering thought. If she did become like me, we would be leaving time behind, so who cared what everyone thought? She was still human enough that she cared what others would think. It gave me pause. I couldn't think like that, but I would have to find a way to ask her what her real objection to marriage was.

What would I do if she became a vampire, and then decided that she didn't want to stay with me? The thought brought a squeezing sensation to the center of my chest that I thought would suffocate me if that was even still possible. I would let her go. I would, but it would be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Only thinking I'd lost her forever could be worse. She lived in fear of my leaving again. I didn't exactly know how to convince her, how to make her see, that this was impossible. I simply wasn't capable of it. Never again would I leave her. But she could leave me. Even if she left me, I would always hover around the fringes of her life, watching, protecting, and filling my eyes with the beauty of her body and mind.

No, I would make her mine. I would find a way to convince her to marry me. I would bind her to me in every way I could think of. Selfish, but I simply couldn't bear the thought of her leaving me. When I thought about it, I realized how she must have felt. I definitely had the corner on idiocy. Never again could I leave. I would stay as close as she would let me be, unless or until she ordered me away. If she did, I would still watch and protect. She was my life, now and forever. There had to be a way to make it work. Giving in just seemed like such a failure on my part, the most selfish thing I could ever do, but was it when it was what she wanted, what would make her happy?

She groaned softly and rolled over, whispered, "Edward." I stared at her beloved face and shut the computer down. I'd invaded her privacy enough. She wanted me here. She dreamt about me. She loved me. It was unbelievable, but true. For the moment, she was mine. I would never cease to be stunned by the feelings of warmth and peace that flowed through me when she said my name in these unguarded moments.

I slid down beside her where she lay on her side, pressing my chest against her back through the comforter that was wrapped around her. She sighed and snuggled back into the cradle of my hips and chest. I placed my arm under her neck below the pillow. The other wrapped around her waist and squeezed gently. I sighed, feeling my body tingle as it always did with any contact with her warm, luscious body.

I inhaled, letting the flames bake my throat, and nearly groaned. She smelled so good. For once, I was grateful. Despite the burning, I had no desire to taste her blood. Every fiber in my body shied away from any action that would cause her harm. That was a mercy. It might be one of the only good things that came out of my time away from her and our time with the Volturi. There was absolutely nothing that could make me lose control and harm her now. Not that way, at least. I could enjoy the smell, ignore the flames and be content with her in my arms.

I heard a scrape outside the window and glanced up. Rosalie was looking in the window, hanging from the top of the window sill. So quiet only a vampire could hear she said, "Good night, Edward. All clear. Jasper is here for his shift. I'm heading home now."

"Good night, Rosalie, thanks again," I whispered just as quietly.

"No problem, any time," she said, and dropped silently to the ground. "See you in the morning."

THE END.


	4. Chapter 4 - Bodyguard

TITLE: Bodyguard

SUMMARY: Bella is saved from another encounter from her attackers from Port Angles, but it isn't Edward that saves her this time. (Sequel to Contemplation and Remembrance).

RATING: PG

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books, Midnight Sun draft and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cullen Residence

Forks, Washington

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Alice sat down with me at the piano and waited until I finished the bridge I was working on. I stopped and looked at her, hearing that she wanted to talk to me. It was a rare time when we were the only two in the house. Carlisle was at the hospital. Esme was shopping for new curtains. Rose and Emmett were hunting. Jasper was following Bella on her shopping trip to the grocery store to stock Charlie's house with easy to prepare food for the times when she wasn't there to cook dinner.

"What's up?" I asked.

"I want to thank you."

I was puzzled and raised an eyebrow. "For what?"

"What you did for Jasper," she said quietly.

"No problem."

"I don't know if you realize how much you helped him. I purposely didn't look when you talked to him. I wanted to give him that privacy. I know he hates that I suffer when he does. I didn't look until after you returned."

"Did you see something?"

"Yes, a profound change in him coming very soon."

"Tell me about it."

"You did several things for him, not the least of which is relieving his guilt over taking snap at Bella. I don't know if he'll ever fully forgive himself, but you made him feel better about it. You made him realize he's not the only one in the world with a problem with control when you told him about fighting the monster every time you were around her. But it's more than that."

"How so?" I inquired. I'd always wanted to understand Jasper better.

"His past has always haunted him, all the human lives he took, but also all the violence and hatred he spread in our own kind. It's always been an albatross around his neck. He's always felt that because of it, he didn't deserve a peaceful life. It's kept him from feeling like he belonged here with us."

"He mentioned something about that."

"But you gave him a profound gift, Edward. You made him realize that his past didn't have to be a burden. It could be an advantage. He could use that knowledge for something other than violence and killing. He could use it to protect people, protect not just Bella, but this whole family. It gave him a purpose."

"Good, I'm glad he's more at peace with it. Emmett will think it sucks that he's not the only great protector anymore, though," I joked.

She giggled. "I don't know if you sense how different he is now, how much calmer and relaxed. He doesn't just protect Bella because you asked him to. At first, he did it because he wanted to atone for his behavior, but it's more than that now."

"How so?"

"He likes it," she impishly.

I smiled. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"He likes watching over her. It makes him feel good about himself. Like he has a purpose, there is meaning to him being a part of this family. He has something to offer. It's been so good for him. He watches her now for himself, not just you."

"That's great."

She nodded. "I've always loved her, even before I knew her, but he does now too. He's grateful for what she's given him. It's odd isn't it, how much she has changed us all? You most of all, of course, but have you ever thought about that?"

"Yes, she has this uncanny ability to bring out the most extreme emotions and behavior in our kind for some reason. I realized that some time ago. It was never more evident than when we were in Volterra. Anyone that could make Aro regret their potential death has something special going on for them."

We both chuckled. "But it's all of us," Alice continued. "Carlisle and Esme think she's a miracle, designed just for us."

"I know, still hard for me to wrap my head around that one."

"Emmett is Emmett as always, but he's always been easy-going about her. He's always been tolerantly amused by her and never minded having her around. He enjoyed watching you go bonkers over her. It amused the hell out of him, seeing his stoic, responsible brother lose his mind," she stated seriously.

We both laughed again. "I'm sure it was most entertaining for him," I replied.

"But Rose is the most shocking of all. That she could ever put aside her own vanity to give a human the time of day is rather astonishing, don't you think? Who could ever pierce the white ice princess' veneer?"

"Only Bella," I agreed.

"She really likes her I think, although she'll only admit to admiring her and being sorry she hurt and scared her. She knows Bella has every reason to hate her, and it baffles her that she doesn't." Alice's chortle filled the room. Her face suddenly became serious. "I could have killed her when she told you about Bella diving off that cliff," she said softly.

"Hey, I thought we were past all that now."

"We are, but I still get mad when I think about it. Her vanity was always amusing to me. I never thought it would make her cruel though. I never thought she would let it drive her to do something so rash and just plain cruel."

I sighed. "She thought it was true."

"Doesn't matter. Even it had been true, you should have been told face to face, not over the phone for God sakes. What was she thinking? And then to talk to you before she even checked with me to make sure I was correct."

"She had no reason to think you might be wrong, Alice. You didn't even think you were wrong."

"I know," she sighed. "My point was that I think this whole thing has mellowed her. It's at least made her think about someone else besides herself for a change. It's made her realize that she is not the center of the universe. And that's a very good thing."

"I agree."

"My original point though was that I think maybe Bella was designed for us."

"What?"

"It all fits, Edward. She was meant to be with you, she was meant to be with us. I feel it deep in my bones. I've felt it since that first vision of her and me with our arms around one another."

I sighed. "There's more than one way."

"I know, I know," she waved at me dismissively. "I've heard all your arguments before, and it's a moot point anyway. She will be one of us, it's just a matter of when."

We sat in silence for a minute, these arguments having been stated over and over again in the past months. There was no point in beating a dead horse.

"Sorry," she muttered after a minute.

"S'okay."

"Anyway, I wanted to thank you for what you've done for Jasper. Because when he's happy, I'm happy. And with the way he feels everything around him, it's so rare for him to be happy. But lately, even when he's struggling with other people's emotions, there is this undertone of contentment in him. It's wonderful, for both of us. I keep seeing him showing us how to fight."

"What?" I asked with alarm.

She shrugged. "It's in the future somewhere and I don't know why, and I don't know when. But his knowledge is going to be crucial to us at some point. That he's content and willing to share with us now is a very good thing. We're going to need him. Bella's going to need him. This whole family is going to need him."

I looked at her in shock. "That's all you know?"

She nodded. "I'll tell you more when I know it. You know I will. But I wanted to tell you about that. I haven't said anything because there was no context. There was no event, precursor, or time line that I could see. I still can't. Mostly though, I just wanted to thank you."

I smiled at her and we hugged. I patted her head and she snickered. She sat up suddenly, "Uh oh." Her eyes went blank.

I took her hands, waiting, knowing she was seeing something. She didn't seem alarmed, so I just waited. Then I saw what she was seeing and I stiffened beside her, knowing they were too far away for us to interfere.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stop & Shop Parking Lot

Forks, Washington

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Bella was unloading groceries into the back of the Mercedes. I'd insisted she drive it rather than that piece of junk truck. Since Jasper was with her and the sun might come out later, she'd agreed because it had the dark tinted windows.

Someone shouted. "Hey girl! I don't believe it!"

She turned and frowned, seeing two men approaching her. She didn't recognize them, but I did.

"Yo! Jeff, it's the one that got away. Remember?"

"Oh yeah, how are you babe? Good to see you again."

Bella was looking toward the door of the store frantically. She recognized them now.

Where the hell was Jasper? I wondered.

"Stay away from me," she said firmly.

"That sounds familiar," Jeff said, and they both laughed. "Don't be like that."

"Nice ride. Why don't you come party with us?" the other one said. He opened the passenger side door as he said this about to slide in.

Bella backed away, turned and started to run toward the store. The man named Jeff followed her, nearly overtaking her. "Jasper!" she shouted. Probably hoping he would hear her from inside the store. That must be where he was.

Suddenly, Jasper was there with one arm around her waist. He whipped her behind him in a one-armed move so quick she blurred. The other arm shot out simultaneously, palm out and smashed into the man's chest at the same time. The man went airborne, at least ten feet in the air and went flying backwards at least 40 feet. I winced. Yikes, he'd hit him way too hard. Christ, he was fast though, and coordinated too, to get Bella behind him and hit the guy at the same time. I couldn't see the wide shot in Alice's vision. I didn't know if anyone was watching or if there was anyone else in the parking lot.

I heard Jasper say, "Wait here."

He blurred away from her and appeared next to the man who was now leaning over his friend. Jeff had blood dribbling from his mouth. The other guy jumped back and stumbled, falling on his ass when he saw Jasper materialize in front of him. "Who the hell are you? Where did you come from?"

Jasper showed his teeth, his lip curling up in a snarl, his arms loose at his sides. He rolled up onto the balls of his feet, a subtle move but I recognized it. It was the prelude to a crouch and spring. He barked, "You're worst nightmare. If you want to live, get out of here." Menace was rolling off him in waves.

"Christ, you look just like the other guy. We were just having a little fun!" he said pointing at Jeff on the ground. He made his way to his feet. Then he looked at Jasper again and blanched.

"Fun? You touch her, you die!" he growled.

"You hurt him, that wasn't necessary!" he shouted, gesturing to his friend. He was scared, trying to put on some bravado.

"You're lucky I didn't kill him," he said in a low voice that was all the more menacing because it wasn't loud. "If you don't shut your mouth, I _will_ kill you."

The man stumbled backwards, clearly panicked now.

Bella appeared near his elbow. "Let's just go, please. Jasper you can't!" she hissed.

Jasper glanced at her, then around the parking lot. "You're lucky day, fun boy," he spat at the man. "You get to live."

He grabbed Bella up around the waist, practically carrying her to the car. He tossed her in the passenger side, went around to the rear, and threw the rest of the bags in the trunk in about three seconds and was in the driver's seat.

I could see the man calling 911 for his friend. I hoped Jasper hadn't killed him. He was a fiend, a viper of the first order, not as bad as his friend, Lonnie, but just as vile in his disrespect for all women. What were the chances that this idiot would see Bella again? Not that I would mourn his death, but if he died, they'd investigate and start looking for things we definitely didn't want anyone to find.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the car speed out of the lot.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Alice came back to reality several seconds later.

"Whew," she sighed and sagged against me.

"Did anyone see him?"

"No, and he didn't kill him, just broke some ribs. Small puncture to the lung, I think. They recognized that he looked a lot like you, pale and with yellow yes, but they will both dismiss it, thinking they must have just been scared and not seeing things right, having a flashback. They'd both been drinking again, so that helps. They'll think they were having drunk vision about the way he moved."

I sagged in relief. "I was afraid when I saw the blood in the guy's mouth."

"Me too, he didn't even react to that though."

"He didn't, did he?" I asked, sounding astonished.

A slow smile spread across her face. "He was so focused on protecting Bella, it didn't even affect him. He registered it there, but that was it. He didn't even hold his breath!" she exclaimed.

We both smiled. "His control has improved a lot. Hmmm, maybe we need to find a way to get Jeff's ass in jail too," I said.

Her eyes went blank again for a few seconds then she looked up and smiled. "Let it go, they are going to trip up the next time they harass a girl. There will be cops nearby." She paused. "Jasper's already at Charlie's unloading the groceries. Charlie was surprised to see Jasper, but he just told him he had to pick up a few things for us as well, so they decided to go together."

We both chuckled. "Wonder what he got us?" I asked.

She laughed. "Paper for my computer printer, and some colored pens for me."

About fifteen minutes later, we heard them pull into the end of the drive and both went out on the porch to wait for the car to arrive. Jasper pulled up the front porch nearly on two wheels.

Bella got out holding a bag with the paper and pens in it. I scooped her up in my arms, planting a kiss on her mouth. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. My bodyguard took care of it," she joked, rolling her eyes.

Jasper looked at me and then at Alice. He was not smiling. "I almost screwed up," he admitted. He was calm though, and not overreacting. He knew Alice would have seen the whole thing. So did Bella. He wasn't beating himself up though.

"But you didn't," Alice said, smiling. "They were drunk, won't think anything of it."

Bella nodded. "Nobody saw him, until after. One car came in the lot after the guy was down. I wanted to get out of there before an ambulance or cops showed up."

"Bella warned me, thank God, I wasn't even thinking about spectators," he said. "I was this close to knocking that guy's head off for his smart mouth," he said, holding his fingers 1/8 of an inch apart. "I was about to show him my idea of fun," he quipped.

One side of Bella's mouth quirked up. "You did good, Jasper. Man, those creeps just won't leave me alone. Bet you never thought you'd be protecting me from human refuse, huh?" Here she was joking when she should be shaking in her boots. At least she hadn't been planning on fighting them this time.

Alice could see that Jasper wanted to talk to me. "C'mon, Bella. I want to show you my latest design." She took Bella's hand and dragged her into the house.

"Thank you," I said sincerely, as soon as they were in the house with the door closed.

"Any time. Crap, I'm sorry, Edward, I should have been with her."

"It's all right, you weren't far."

"Yeah, but," he began.

I shook my head and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's fine. She wasn't hurt, that's all that matters."

He nodded. "I shouldn't have left her alone. I ran back in to get those stupid pens after she'd checked out. I told her I'd be out in a second. I knew Alice wanted them and I'd forgotten."

"Don't worry about it."

He ignored me and kept talking. "Through the window before I was out of the store, I saw her running. Bella never runs so I knew there was something wrong immediately."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Bella hated running because she tended to fall down when she did.

"Then I heard her scream my name. I nearly panicked. I thought he had a hold of her. He couldn't have been two steps behind her. I didn't know who he was, but I could tell by the look on her face that she was scared. I saw the car door open too, the other guy, thought he might have dragged her out of the car."

"You got there in time, that's all that matters."

"I didn't even think. I just blocked her and launched his sorry, pervert ass across that parking lot. It was stupid. I should have been more careful, but it took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting trouble. Course I didn't know he was a pervert at the time, I just knew he'd scared Bella. I know I hit him too hard."

"Alice said you just broke some ribs."

He nodded.

"You didn't react to the blood," I stated nonchalantly.

His brow puckered. "The blood?"

I smiled. "The guy had blood running out of his mouth, Jasper," I informed him. "One of the broken ribs probably nicked his lung."

"Oh, huh," he said. "I guess I must have seen it but I didn't really notice."

I grinned widely now. "Impressive."

He smiled. "Amazing what you can ignore when you're mind is on other things."

"You've improved … a lot," I complimented him.

"Thanks. I hope so. By the way, once we were on the way the Charlie's, I wondered out loud who the hell they were and Bella told me that she recognized them from Port Angeles. I couldn't believe it. What are they doing around here?"

"Apparently, they don't confine their aberrant behavior to Port Angeles."

"Sick perverts," he spit out. "Makes me want to hunt them down."

"Couldn't agree more, but Alice says they are going to trip up next time they harass a girl. She won't be hurt, but the cops will catch them."

"Good, couldn't happen to nicer guys," he said sarcastically, making a face of disgust.

I grinned. "You've become quite the protector," I teased.

He smiled sheepishly. "I don't mind. She's easy to be with, and she's happy most of the time, so that's nice for me."

"Good, I'm glad."

He hesitated. "And I'll admit that it makes me feel better about all that other stuff."

"You don't owe me anything, Jasper."

He nodded. "I know. I started out that way, but I really don't mind it now, for real. Gives me something to do besides obsess about Alice all the time," he joked.

We both laughed, and I clapped him on the back. "Let's go be with our girls," I suggested.

He nodded and we jumped up to the porch and went to find our other halves.


	5. Chapter 5 - First Honeymoon

TITLE: First Honeymoon

SUMMARY: How good was it?

RATING: NC-17

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

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Missing Scene

Esme's Island

The First Night

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My fear was doing battle with my arousal as I led her into the bedroom and watched her gently lay herself back on the bed. She'd dropped her towel just before climbing into position in the center of the bed.

My breath caught at the sight of her naked body. Had Aphrodite ever looked more beautiful? She was panting gently as she gazed at my body. I realized that before tonight, we'd never actually seen each other totally naked. Because I knew that this would happen. If I ever saw her naked, I would lose control. My eyes ran over her plump breasts, her flat tummy, slightly flared hips, slender calves, and then the soft brown patch of hair between her legs.

I clamped down on my speeding breaths, and lowered myself next to her. She came into my arms and shivered. There was nothing I could really do about that right now. I stared at her, letting her see everything, how much I loved her, how much I needed her. "I love you so much it hurts," I whispered.

"You look like a Greek God," she murmured. I chuckled.

She hummed in the back of her throat, and pressed herself tighter against my chest, her lips finding the muscle in my throat. She kissed me there and I sighed, but then she bit me! Oh, heaven help me. She couldn't hurt me, and I'm sure for her it was a hard bite, but to me it was just a light scrape on my skin. The feeling it produced was not light though. A surge of lust tightened my loins and I moaned. "Jesus," I hissed and pushed my hips forward, pressing my now full arousal into her stomach, feeling her soft skin yield to the granite of my shaft.

She chuckled and raised her face up to my lips. "Kiss me, Edward. Kiss me for real," she requested.

I knew what she meant. I'd kissed her plenty, but always stopped it at a certain point, the point where my arousal would overwhelm my good sense if I didn't stop. Not tonight. I wasn't going to stop, or that was the plan. It scared the crap out of me, the possibility that I might hurt her, but I'd also never wanted anything more than I wanted her right now. This woman had done what no one else in 100 years had ever done. She'd resurrected all those human emotions; love, pride, fear, and desire so strong. Desire for the intimacy of a woman's body. Desire to share my sex, to be as close as people can be. To be inside her. I never wanted anything more than I wanted to slide myself inside her body. To be _inside _Bella. Dear Lord, the very idea left me breathless and literally shaking with desire.

I gulped, and pressed my mouth to hers. She moaned and opened her mouth, her soft, pink tongue, darting between my lips and brushing over my tongue. I let my tongue meet hers, careful not to let my teeth scrape or bite her tongue. Our tongues met, danced around, lapping and rolling around one another. It was so erotic. I gave her an answering moan and crushed her lips to mine.

My hands brushed lightly up and down her side. I reached her leg and I hitched it up over my hip. She trembled slightly, but then her hands were exploring my chest, my sides and she even reached down and squeezed my ass, pulling me into her tighter. "Love you, want you so bad, I think I'm going to combust," she whispered.

I blew air out of my pursed lips. "Me too, but let's go slow. You must tell me if I do anything too rough or hurt you."

"I will, stop worrying. I don't know what I'm doing though," she admitted quietly.

"Don't worry about it, neither do I," I said gently and kissed her again. I rolled onto my back and she rolled with me, straddling my hips.

I groaned loudly when I felt the wetness between her legs leak out and slide over my shaft. It felt hot! I was unable to stop myself from tilting my hips forward just to feel myself slide through her thick nether lips.

She gasped and leaned down to kiss me again, crushing her mouth to mine. My hands ran up and down her back, taking in the heat of her baby soft skin and the softness. It reminded me of how fragile she was. "Stay this way for a minute," I gasped out.

She nodded and placed her hands on my shoulders, sitting back slightly. Her breasts were perfect, small but plump and nearly shouting at me for attention. My thumbs brushed over her nipples and I watched, fascinated as they puckered up tightly into hard, little knots and her areolas turned to gooseflesh. She moaned and threw her head back, her hair brushing my thighs. "Awwww, Geeeezzz, oh, Edward." The sound was so fraught with pleasure that it made groin throb. I was still a little stunned that I could do this to her, make her feel this kind of pleasure. "Keep touching me, please!" she begged.

I'd felt like an idiot. I was 110 years old and I was a virgin. It was rather pathetic. I'd never had a woman when I was human. I'd actually been planning on hiring a prostitute before I entered the army, just to do it, in case I didn't make it later in the war. Then I got sick, and my plans had never come to fruition.

I'd read books, watched some revolting stuff on the internet, and talked to Carlisle and my brothers about it. Nothing I'd seen or heard prepared me for the feeling coursing through my body right now. I felt wild and out of control. I took deep breaths, determined to make this good for her, determined to stay in control.

She rose up on her knees and reached tentatively for me with her right hand and she stared down with what looked like awe at my stiff package. Her small fingers wrapped tightly around the base near my stomach and she squeezed. "Awwwwww, God," I groaned as her hand slid up to the top and her thumb brushed some pre-ejaculate over the tip. I bucked involuntarily. It felt like my penis would explode. It didn't, but it did get even harder, swelling more than it ever had.

She gasped and continued to slide up and down until I was incoherent with moaning. I finally grasped her wrist to stop her. "Stop, please," I gasped. "You're driving me crazy."

She smiled a quirky smile, seemingly amazed that she'd done this to me. Her gaze held mine and she whispered, "You are so beautiful it's nearly unbearable. I keep thinking there will come a time when your beauty doesn't stun me speechless. But it always does."

I smiled. "Bella, you have no idea how gorgeous you are to me. I know I feel cold to you but I'm going up in flames," I admitted. "You're so sexy, you take my breath away." It sounded corny, but I couldn't help it. "You're so soft. Your beautiful eyes, your plump lips, your breasts, they all drive me straight into insanity. You could tempt a saint."

She smiled in return and we returned to kissing and exploring each others bodies with our hands and feet. I rolled her to her back, and her legs spread wide over my hips as I slipped into the cradle of her baby soft thighs. She hooked her legs over my hips and I pressed my hardness up and over her mound, feeling the heat leaking out of her onto my body.

Oh dear God, I could smell her. The scent hit me like punch to the gut and made my whole body tighten in anticipation. Her arousal smelled nearly as good as her blood. Heaven help me. My head swam as I inhaled deeply, feeling the entire surface of my skin tingle and shudder with warmth. I might not survive this. That smell was enough to make me deranged.

I leaned down and kissed her nipple, swirling my tongue over it, holding my weight up and off her body. She moaned, arched her back and pressed into my mouth. I suckled her gently. I didn't dare scrape her nipple with my teeth. If I broke the skin, it would all over. But I used my finger nail and gently pinched her tightened nipple.

"GOD! Edward, please!" she nearly shouted. I moved to the other nipple and repeated my suckling as I began to gently rub myself against her wet center. She was literally writhing underneath me. The sounds coming out of her mouth were so arousing, they stunned me. I'd never seen anything more beautiful. Her hair was spread out like an ebony fan on the pillow, streaked highlights of red from the sun framing her face. Her eyes were wide and her cheeks were bright red with the flush of her arousal. Even her chest was turning pink from the rush of blood in her body. I could hear her heart, speeding and crashing harshly in her chest. "Never stop touching me!" she wailed.

I kissed her again, feeling her lips swell from the abuse and breathing into her mouth, knowing the smell of my breath titillated her. I continued to rub against her and she was so wet now that I was sliding freely back and forth. "So beautiful, and you smell soooo good," I groaned.

She panted and looked at me directly. "Too good?" she asked. I realized her misunderstanding.

"No, not your blood, although that always smells great. I mean I can _smell you_, you're excitement," I said as I ground my shaft into her wetness again. She groaned and pressed into me again. She actually blushed even harder, turning beat red.

I chuckled as she hid her face in my shoulder. "Oh god, how embarrassing," she said quietly.

I nuzzled her neck and slid my nose up to her ear. "Don't be embarrassed, it's making me crazy." I paused, alarmed at how rough my voice sounded. "I've never wanted anything or anyone as much as I want you right now."

"Then take me," she replied.

I groaned. She raised her head and sucked on my nipple and then bit it. I bellowed and felt my balls spasm. My hips rocked involuntarily, and I felt the tip of my shaft lodge itself between her swollen, pink nether lips. Hope she didn't chip a tooth doing that.

We both paused, and gasped for air. "Bella, please tell me if I," I began.

"I promise, but please Edward, make love to me. I can't stand it anymore." She looked down and placed her hand on my stomach below my navel and scratched me there. "Want you inside me my body," she whispered. "Part of me."

I groaned. "Oh, for the love of God, Bella, you gorgeous nymph." I pressed my hardness up against her little hole, my hands gripping her biceps gently. She was shaking, her whole body was vibrating, but I surmised it was anticipation. I felt her entrance give slightly. The opening was wet, hot, and slick, but so small, it seemed impossible that it would accommodate me. I'd never considered our sizes that much. She was always so small and fragile to me, but I was never more aware of it than I was now. I felt huge hovering over her small, delicate frame. While I didn't want to hurt her – there was something unbearably erotic about the size difference.

She reached down and spread her outer lips with her fingertips and tilted her hips up, giving a shove and I felt the wide helmet of my shaft sink inside her. Her inner muscles closed tightly over the back of my glans. I was spreading her so wide. We both groaned, and I froze. It was embarrassing. My legs were actually shaking. I wondered if she could feel it.

"Okay?" I gasped. Oh Christ, I looked enormous, her nether lips pouting out around my engorged member.

She nodded. "God yes, more," she groaned.

Yup, she was going to be the death of me. I reached down to gently rub her bundle of nerves that was swollen as a red berry and peeking out above my shaft. She bucked her hips against me and I slid a little deeper. "You make me so hard," I whispered, ignoring the irony.

Her eyes rolled back into her bed, and her back arched. I was about to ask her if she was okay as I paused to let her get used to the feeling of me inside her when her words rushed out. "So good, feels so incredible, Edward. Do it, now. Want all of you."

"Easy, baby." I kissed her nipple and rubbed gently on the hood her clitoris. "Relax." I couldn't decide if I was trying to convince her or myself. Her canal was so tight. It was like a tight rubber band surrounding the first couple inches my sex. Breathing hard, unable to stop the near constant groans each time I moved, I slid carefully inside until I felt her barrier.

She made a mewling sound like an impatient kitten and it made me smile. There it was, the evidence of virginity. My head spun with pleasure, knowing that I was the first one to ever touch her this way. I was the first one to slide inside her delicious body. No one but me would ever do this. No one else would get the privilege of this first slow slide into virginal tightness. I couldn't help but remember all the guys I'd heard fantasize about this; Jacob, Mike Newton, Taylor Crowley, Connor, Austin, Lee Sanders, and Eric what's-his-name. They'd all fantasized about sliding inside her delicious body. But it was my iron-hard shaft that was going to become one with this Goddess of erotic temptation. She'd said 'yes' to_ me._ She was now my wife. I was humbled by the privilege, the trust. They would never touch her.

A wave of intense possessiveness washed over me. I placed a hand on her hip to hold her steady, looked into her eyes and said, "This will hurt." I grimaced at the thought of causing her pain.

She nodded. "I know, don't worry about it, get it over with." I pressed into her with steady pressure. She gasped and her walls tightened even further. I froze. "No, just do it, punch through it," she said, hitting my chest in frustration. "Just, just," she stuttered, seemingly unable to express what she wanted.

"Just what?" I asked, through my gritted teeth.

She grabbed my ass, yanking as hard as she probably could. It didn't budge me. She yanked again, her little hands like a hot brand on my ass, and nearly screamed, "Do it! Jesus, Edward, fuck me!"

Fuck me. Oh my freaking God, did she really just say that to me? My head spun, my cock throbbed, swelling even tighter in her snug canal. Somehow those words weren't crude coming out of her mouth in that kittenish mewl. Hearing her impatience, I had to the urge to grab her hips and ram into her so hard they'd hear her scream on the mainland.

I took a couple deep breaths, and said, "You're trying to kill me, right? You little minx, I'll lose it completely if you talk dirty to me," I warned her with mock sternness.

She half laughed, half whined, tears leaking from the corner of her eyes. "Edward, please, I'm begging you. I've got to have you, waited so long." She whined and wiggled her hips, sending sharp spikes of pleasure up my groin and into my gut.

I was so scared of hurting her, but I had to move sometime. I braced myself, gritted my teeth and gave a little, sharp, jab into her. "MINE!" I growled. I actually felt the thick tissue stretch and then tear and split over the end of my glans, sliding to the side. She yelped and I saw a few tears leak out again, but then she groaned, pressing her hips into mine urgently and biting her lip so hard I was afraid she would split it open.

I groaned so loud and wheezed so bad you would have thought I was coughing up a lung. Then I was pressing myself into her steadily until I felt the back wall of her vagina. I wasn't all the way in, but almost. I was a good seven and half inches long, and I knew I was fairly thick, a couple of inches around. Right now, I was wishing I was smaller. I wiggled my hips and pressed again, pushing that last few millimeters inside until I was embedded fully. Her whole canal tightened around my length from the tip to the base, probably in response to the cool temperature. It must feel like I'd shoved an icicle up inside her. That couldn't be comfortable. "Oh my God, Bella. This is heaven on earth."

I forced myself to be still as stone inside her while she adjusted. She was panting and gasping. "You okay?" I asked. I could feel her cervix flexing on the sensitive glans, making my head swim with pleasure. It felt like she was nibbling on the end of my sensitive glans. Sharp spikes of pleasure shot through my shaft and groin.

"Better than okay, oh God, I had no idea it would feel this good. It's perfect. You feel so huge. Ohwhoa, youfeelsogood,sogood."

"I hurt you, you yelped," I contradicted her.

"All virgins yelp, Edward, stop it. It's fine now. Move, please. Make love to me."

"Take your time, get used to it."

"It's fine, I promise. Kiss me," she demanded. She wound her hands in my hair and pulled me toward her. She couldn't actually budge me but I responded to her request. She knew how much it thrilled me to hear the words, so she said, "You're my husband, Edward. I'm yours. Now get on with it and make love to your _wife_. Dreamed of feeling you slide in and out of me, so many times. Please!"

Her begging was irresistible. I moaned and I leaned down carefully until my chest hit hers and the heat of her body seared my flesh. I kissed her, harder than I ever had and bellowed directly into her mouth as I dragged my hips back feeling her tunnel spasm around me like it didn't want to let me go. Then to make my torture complete, I smelled it. Her blood. It was only a drop or two from her torn hymen, but when I retreated, I dragged the smell of it out of her with me.

The agonized snarl that sprung up out of my throat took me off guard. I could handle this. I could. The urge to yank back and dive my face between her legs was nearly unbearable. I held my breath and stopped breathing.

She stared up at me, wide-eyed, probably wondering about the snarl, and why I wasn't pressing back inside. She looked down and her eyes widened. I glanced and could see the small smear of blood on my penis, which was otherwise shining with the jelly of her arousal.

"You okay?" she asked nervously. "Should I get a tissue and clean it up?" she asked.

"No, just give me a second," I hissed, using up what little air I had left. I took a tentative sip of air, and groaned at the fire baking my throat and then pushed into her again. I rode her deep and slow, until her hips followed my rhythm, pressing up to meet my gentle thrusts. "Mine!" I snarled again.

"Yes, all yours, take me, faster, please. Better than my dreams. Can't believe it. Ohmygodthatsthespot, don't stop, don't stop. Edward! More, more!"

Then I picked up speed, a little at a time, until I was pressing into her fully, giving it to her in long, hard strokes. She moaned and whimpered, her little hole turning bright red from the pounding she was taking. My hips were nearly a blur as I raced in and out of her. I took my eyes off our joining before it did me in and this ended too quickly. My lips returned to her nipples, then slid up her neck and crushed her mouth again as I tried to slow down. I had to slow down. I was in danger of crashing into her too harshly.

The sensations were like nothing I'd ever felt before. I was burning from the inside out, and my member throbbed so hard it almost hurt. My balls were cringing with pleasure with every stroke, and I would shudder and quiver as the pleasure washed through me with wave after wave, moaning directly into her mouth. The feel of her rubbery walls gripping me was like tight elastic. How could it feel so good? How could anyone feel pleasure like this and survive it? I'd always been slightly unnerved and disgusted by the passion Rosalie and Emmett shared, the physicality of their love. I'd never disparage them again. "Oh my God. You make my whole body throb. Didn't think it was possible to feel desire like this. Wanna make you cum."

"Oh yes! Here it comes! I am going to cum, so close! You're gonna make me cum, baby. I'm on fire! Oh God, a little more, Edward! I'm gonna cum! Oh Christ, YEEEESSS!" She suddenly stiffened, tightened and screamed, her eyes rolling back into her head again. I panicked, thinking I'd hurt her but then I felt the walls of her vagina shudder and begin a clamping, staccato rhythm on my shaft. Her orgasm nearly made me lose my mind. She wasn't just telling me it felt good. She was having an orgasm. I was giving her that pleasure. And her body was giving it back to me in spades. I howled as her walls quivered and stuttered in spastic convulsions on my aching hardness.

Her voice warbled in pleasure as her orgasm rocked through her. She shouted, "Ahhhh! Ohhh, Ohhh, Oh ho ho, ohwhoa, Edward, Ohh Gooddd!" When she calmed, "I've never come that hard, so good." If she'd climaxed before that meant she had made it happen for herself. My head spun at the thought of her masturbating, making herself cum. I wondered how often she'd done that.

I moaned. "Thanks for that visual, Bella," I choked out. She giggled, then moaned again.

She squeezed her muscles intentionally around me and I bellowed, throwing my head back, my back arching as my testicles gave a mighty spasm. My head snapped down toward her neck, and as my chin brushed her cheek, I realized how close I'd come to crashing into her face. I rasped, "I've died and gone to heaven, you are so snug. Jesus, how can it feel this good? Oh My God! Bella!" I shouted.

She was ramming her hips up to meet me and arching her back, impaling herself. I gritted my teeth and forced myself to stay still, and let her control the harshness, let her make the strokes. She shrieked and her walls collapsed on me a second time. I couldn't believe I was doing this to her, that she seemed to be getting as much pleasure as I was getting. I was grateful to whatever was giving me the ability to do this with her, for her.

My hands clamped onto her arms, and I retreated a mere inch or two and shoved into her harshly, holding myself embedded while her body squeezed my member so tightly it was making me insane. I felt it rise up in me and my head swam with pleasure again. I bellowed an incoherent roar of mind-bending pleasure and my mouth struck the pillow next to her head. I bit down so hard that I heard the snap of my teeth crashing into each other. I couldn't stop, my hips were on auto pilot. I felt the burn as my jaws locked and squeezed my eyes shut as lights burst like fireworks behind my closed lids. I didn't want it to ever stop.

Then she began to babble incessantly with pleasure and my heart soared, as I felt her start to climax again. "Love you, Edward! Oh my God, this can't be real!" Her body thrashed on the bed, her walls clinging to me. Her legs squeezed around my hips so hard her legs were quivering with the effort. I clamped onto my control, wanting to make this good for her. I'd hit the right angle, the right spot, apparently, because she gasped, moaned, shouted and let loose with incoherent sounds, her eyes rolling, her body jerking underneath me. I just tried to concentrate on stroking her steadily, keeping the same rhythm but it was hard. Every six or seven strokes, she would peak again and my head would swim, both from the pleasure and the realization that I was making her experience this pleasure. I had done it. I was giving her something she had never experienced before. No one else would ever know what she looked like in the throws of a orgasm, her mouth open and wailing with pleasure, her chest flushed pink with excitement, her nipples hard and inviting. It was enough to drive a man insane. I'd skated past insane a long time ago.

She must have climaxed six times at least. I'd apparently hit just the right spot. I could tell she was getting tired though, her thrashing was slowing down. I didn't want her to be hurt or sore. "Love you, Edward! Come for me baby, come deep inside me. Let go! Leave a part of you behind inside me!"

"Bella!" That was it. Leaving a piece of me inside Bella. The very idea was so mind-bendingly eerotic for me. She could not have said anything sexier to me.

Then I lost control. My body erupted like Mt. Saint Helens, pouring cold seed into the depths of her body. It felt like the top of my shaft would burst wide open. Heat raced through every vein in my body. Jolting spurt after spurt of my essence raced up my shaft, stiffening me nearly to the point of pain. Then the release would follow, as it rocketed out of me with the speed of a freight train, burning, and deposited into her depths, up against her quivering cervix. My body was shuddering and shaking with the insane pleasure of my release and I would spasm again, feeling my balls spasm and clench and another wave would wash up my shaft and set me shouting and bellowing incoherently, jerking my hips up into her tight, lithe body. I couldn't get any deeper. Oh God help me, it wasn't stopping. I was leaving a lot of pieces of me behind inside her. This couldn't be normal. I'd never felt anything like this in my life. I shuddered and vaguely realized I was crashing my hardness into her hips and belly again, swiveling my hips against her pelvis and snarling and snapping at the pillow as feathers flew around my head. I must of shot into her ten times. It was unbelievable. That's what I get for saving it up for 110 years, I thought inanely, and then laughed in my head at my stupid joke.

She shrieked and arched again, another orgasm following fast on the heels of the last one. Her body squirmed, her back arched, she shrieked a wordless cry of pleasure, her fists balled up in the covers and then suddenly she went limp, her breath stuttering out of her lungs in a final blast of relief. My body finally calmed as my breath came in ragged gasps. I raised my head and spit out some feathers, realizing I'd pulverized two pillows in my insanity. My God, I'd totally lost my focus, totally disconnected from what I was doing, forgetting her breakable body underneath me as she'd coaxed the most mind-bending pleasure from my body I'd ever felt in my life. All I'd known was the aching hardness and incessant throbbing pleasure between my legs. I'd felt like I was breaking apart but we were apparently both still in one piece.

I realized I was crushing her, pressing her deeply into the mattress and lifted myself away from her. When I looked to find her eyes, they were closed and she was limp. "Bella?" I asked, my voice resounding with panic. She didn't move. Oh my God, what had I done? "Bella!" I nearly shouted, cradling her face in my palms.

Then I felt her breath and her eyelids fluttered, and opened. She grinned weakly. "I think I passed out for a second," she mumbled. "Mmm, you made me cum so hard, so hard, so many times, there are no words," she whispered, sounding as awed as I felt.

I stuttered a relieved chuckle and slid carefully off her body. She crawled to my side and slung her arm over my chest. "That was perfect, Edward. I love you so much. You'll never know. I didn't know pleasure like that existed. Do you know how ungodly sexy you are? It ought to be illegal. I swear. Every woman that looks at you wants to be right where I am now." I snickered at her exaggeration and snorted. "I mean it. There are no words for that. It trumped every fantasy I've ever had about you and my fantasies about you would make whore blush," she admitted quietly.

I barked out a burst of laughter, surprised at her choice of words. "Ditto. You're okay? I didn't hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine, totally euphoric." Then she yawned, "Tired though."

"Sleep my Bella, my love, my wife." I ran my fingers through her hair.

"It was good for you? I hope," she muttered.

I chuckled again and put my cheek on the top of her head where it rested on my shoulder. I whispered, "It was way more than good. It was life-altering."

She snorted. "Yeah, right."

I put all the sincerity I could into my voice and growled quietly in her ear, "That was the most mind-bending pleasure I have ever felt in my entire existence, Bella. In 110 years, nothing has ever felt that good. It blew my mind. You are the sexiest creature that ever lived. Your hot, little body makes me deranged with lust, just like every other guy in Forks."

She rolled her eyes but then sighed in pleasure. "It was perfect, love you so much," she muttered, and then her head drooped with exhaustion.

"Sleep, Mrs. Cullen." She fell off to sleep. I juggled her carefully, pressing the covers over her and between us. It was hot here, but she was sweating and her pores were open now and I didn't want her catch a chill. She sighed in her sleep and snuggled closer.

I frowned as I spotted a yellow mark on her bicep, several in fact. I brushed her arm carefully, making sure I felt nothing unusual. She seemed fine. We had done it, finally. We had made love. Carlisle hadn't exaggerated. Great pleasure didn't begin to cover what I'd just experienced. There could be no greater pleasure in the world. It might even trump the taste of her blood.

I carefully extracted myself from the bed, not wanting to wake her. I went to the rest room and ran hot water on a washcloth and went back to the bed. I pulled the covers away from her and then draped them over her top half. I held my breath, and carefully pressed her knee to the side, opening her legs.

I froze as I felt my groin pulse at the sight of her red, abused mound. Jesus, what this woman did to me. I carefully wiped between her legs, cleaning up the excess that was leaking out of her. I could still faintly smell the drops of blood, although the smell wasn't nearly as strong now, mixed with the smell of my semen. I then closed her legs again, and went to rinse out the washcloth and threw it in the hamper.

I climbed back into bed and she gravitated to me again, snuggling into my side, and throwing one leg over my thigh. I sighed in contentment. Nobody had more than I had right now. Bella Swan was my wife. Correction, she was Bella Cullen now. I thrilled to the thought. She was mine, only mine. She was my wife. I had taken her virginity. She had taken mine. We belonged to each other now more completely than we ever had before, if that was even possible. No one would ever come between us again.

I sighed happily as I caught sight of her wedding rings. I slid my fingers in between hers, holding her hand up to see them there, watching the diamonds glittering in the pale light of the moon that filtered through the window. I got a lump in my throat. I know she now didn't object to the marriage, and was even happy about it, having gotten over her fear of what everyone would think. Despite that, she had NO idea what seeing those rings on her fingers did for me. I knew it was silly to her, but I was old fashioned. I hadn't changed with the times like so many of my counter parts. I was pleased that we waited to be married, pleased that we had sex AFTER we were tied together this way. She would never understand how much it meant to me that she was willing to become my wife. I was the proudest man in the world right now. I couldn't help feeling smug as I'd watched and heard the envy in the mind of every single man at the wedding, and some of the married ones too. I'd thought, too bad fellows, this gorgeous creature was MINE! Everyone would see the rings there on her finger now and for the rest of her existence and know that she was off limits. Taken. Married. MINE! She was Mrs. Edward Cullen. What had I ever done to deserve such good fortune? God help anyone that tried to take her away from me now.

God help me, the pleasure. You'd think that I would stop being surprised by the emotions and feeling this woman could extract from my cold, dead heart but she continued to take me by surprise. Just when I thought I couldn't love her any more, her presence, her love for me, and the feelings she ripped from my body would stun me all over again with their strength and magnificence. She was my Goddess. Her faith in me was humbling.

I squeezed her gently and she hummed, and tightened her arm on my chest again. I looked down and frowned again, feeling a fissure of uneasiness as I saw the outline of my fingers and hands on her bicep. My pride disappeared in an instant. The bruises were no longer yellow, they were green, and some were turning blue. One spot was almost black. I gulped and shifted her slightly, lightly lifting the covers and looking at her chest, her belly, her other arm. Bruises were appearing everywhere. If I had anything to throw up, I would have barfed on the spot.

I had hurt her. How had she not said anything? How had she hidden this pain from me? What the hell was wrong with me? I'd lost control, just as I feared I would. I had crushed her with my hands and my chest, and my belly. I'd broken the fragile blood vessels under her skin. I gently lifted her knee and saw faint blue streaks on the inside of her thighs.

I choked, as if I was coughing up bile and self-loathing speared sharply through my head. I frantically began feeling her body everywhere. Thankfully, she didn't waken. She was exhausted, and no wonder. I'd pummeled her body black and blue. Oh for the love of God! What had I done? No pleasure was worth this. I'd promised never to hurt again, never to fail her. Seeing the evidence of my barbaric loss of self-control sent my mind spinning with revulsion for myself.

She muttered and cuddled into me again. I made myself still and adjusted the covers. I forced myself to breath slowly. I would keep watch through out the night. I would wait for her to waken and then take the scorn that would surely be mine when she saw how abused her body was. She'd be lucky if she was able to move or walk in the morning. I might have to take her back to Carlisle.

I groaned quietly and threw my free arm over my eyes, my other arm keeping her pinned gently to my side. Was there anything in the world I couldn't screw up beyond all recognition. This was my worst nightmare. For God sakes, I could have killed her. What had I been thinking? Here I was lying next to her praising my good fortune. Meanwhile, she must have felt like she was in hell, and smiled through it to make me all right about what I had just done. I realized the feathers that were spinning in the air over the bed were the least of my problems. Thank God I hadn't bitten her. It had been a near thing. Just snapping my head forward like I had could have crushed her skull. Thank God I'd missed and hit the pillow instead.

I settled in for a long night, a long wait, and began composing how I would approach this with her when she woke up. This couldn't happen again, ecstatic pleasure aside. I would not do this again until she was durable enough not to be hurt by my out of control lust. I was a monster of the worst kind. I never should have allowed this. I didn't have Carlisle's control to touch humans without hurting them. There were more ways than one to gain sexual release. I should have done that instead, pleasured her with my mouth and hands. I couldn't risk this again. Thank God no bones were broken. That was a small mercy. How could she forgive me for this? She would be fully within reason to never want me to touch her again. I closed my eyes and listened to her breath quietly in and out. I listened to the steady thump of her heart, the most significant sound in the world to me, and settled in for a long wait.

Then I did something I hadn't done in decades. I prayed. _God, please help me. Forgive me. Please let her forgive me. Please help me find a way to never hurt her again. I'm begging you._

I looked down at her with all the tenderness I felt for her making my chest ache. She was so unearthly beautiful. Her cheeks were rosy, her lips swollen, her skin so perfect and unblemished it was almost translucent. I had the odd thought that her skin her nearly that of a vampire already in color anyway. But it wasn't. It wasn't cold stone. It was fragile, soft, and utterly breakable.

I grimaced as I saw a faint hue spreading across her cheek. Jesus, was there no end to the punishment I could inflict on this woman? I wanted her to stay human, and then again, at a time like this, perhaps it wasn't such a good idea. Forget the monsters out there that might harm her. I was biggest, most dangerous monster of all, because I couldn't leave her alone, I couldn't control myself when she touched me. What the hell had I been thinking?

I turned to stare at the ceiling and wait. I couldn't stand to look at the damage I'd caused anymore. I would go insane. I sighed and listened to her sleep. Several times she murmured my name, and said she loved me. How could she still love me after what I'd done? Was there no end to the compassion and forgiveness in this woman? Of course, she was asleep. I was mighty sure that the morning would be a different story. I expected nothing but her scorn, or at least her fear and regret.

Little did I know at that moment, she would later surprise me again and stun me with her reaction. Little did I know, I had left a piece of me behind, more than I ever intended. Some things would never change.


	6. Chapter 6 - Renesmee's Leap

TITLE: Renesme's Leap

SUMMARY: Renesme decides its time to make time with Jacob. Uncut version of pretty please, my other one shot.

RATING: NC-17

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books, Midnight Sun draft and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxx

LaPush Village

Border of _Quileute and Cullen Lands_

_8__ Years After Visit from Volturi_

_Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

_Standing on the edge of our small village, on the very outskirts, I could just barely see my parents' cottage through the trees. I knew they weren't home. "Nessie!" I heard shouted from behind me._

_I turned as Leah Clearwater waved. "I'm making a trip to Olympia for supplies and stuff. I won't be back until tomorrow. Can you tell Jake?"_

_"Sure, Leah. No problem. He'll be back soon."_

_"Cya!" She waved over her shoulder and hopped into her Toyota Camry and took off. I just stood there enjoying the sunshine, trying to figure out what I was going to do._

_Behind me were small but tasteful homes arranged in a huge semi-circle. Embry Call lived in one. Quil Ateara lived__ in another. Leah and Seth lived in a third. And my Jacob lived in the largest one, still small by most standards, but plenty large enough for him. It was built special with extra high ceilings and door frames to accommodate his towering height._

_After the Volturi had left us finally and life had settled into a routine, things had changed. Quil and Embry joined Jacob's pack for one thing. There simply couldn't be two alphas in La Push, so they had decided they needed their own place, somewhere close to the Cullens, but separate from the reservation proper. It was better all around this way. We could still interact and be friends and family, but we had our own place to come to. We didn't have to be in each other's face. _

_Leah was happier here without Sam in her face and she was Jacob's second-in-command. This was a post she never expected to have. I know she was surprised when he'd asked her to do it. She knew she would never be the object of someone's imprinting, she knew she was the outcast as the only female werewolf. Jacob's faith and trust in her had gentled her a bit. She was proud to stand at his side, and she had grown to admire him and love him as a brother. She took her job very seriously._

Life was peaceful now. As far as the good folks of Forks were concerned. The Cullens were still strange, but they were just four couples that kept to themselves and didn't bother anyone. I got too big too quick, so I'd been kept out of the public eye and when grown, I'd been introduced as my father's niece, the daughter of his also adopted brother, who was killed in a car accident. I was supposedly adopted by my parents. This way my last name could be Cullen also without suspicion.

What people didn't know was that I didn't live with the Cullens in the 'Big House', as we called it. And I didn't live in the 'Cottage', as they called my parents place. I lived with Jacob most of the time. I went home frequently, but spent most of my time here in La Push Village.

That suited Jacob just fine. If he had his way, I'd be glued to his side, but he had lightened up as time went by and no more danger seemed to appear. Occasionally a vampire would appear uninvited in the area. The Cullens would track them down first if possible, and ask them to leave and not to hunt this area. If they left, no harm, no foul. If they didn't, or gave them a hard time, the pack would take them out. Sometimes they coordinated with the Cullens, other times they went on their own.

The Olympic Coven had a formidable reputation now. They had somehow thwarted the Volturi. Word had spread of the offensive against them and how they had turned tail at the end, having found no crimes to persecute. But all those nomads knew differently, and word had spread that the Volturi had tried to find a reason to destroy the coven, but had been thwarted, and there were even whispers the Volturi feared Carlisle's coven. In addition, those that didn't heed their warning and stay off their territory or leave when asked were never heard from again. In the world of the supernatural, they were held in high esteem and a bit of awe and fear and well. Newborns to the life were given the Volturi laws to follow. Only now they were warned against something else as well. "Stay out of the Olympic peninsula. They came away from a 20 vampire offensive in tact, and even the Volturi leave them alone. Don't ever mess with the Cullens, unless you want to end this life."

My parents would rather I stayed with them, but they knew I was safe. I knew my father worried about my relationship with Jacob. He trusted it, knew Jacob would never harm me, but I was an adult now. He hadn't had sixteen to twenty years to get used to the idea that one day I would want a mate. He'd only had about seven. I smiled ruefully. It was time. I think Jacob sensed it, but he never mentioned it. He was his usual affable self, giving me hugs and chaste kisses all the time. I was frustrated that he never went any further. It was clear that I was going to have to be the one to make the first move.

Not being sure how to approach it was the problem. Should I be bold, or just hint? I wasn't sure which had the best chance of success. Hinting hadn't worked so far. I was going to have to try something soon. I was going crazy. I didn't know if it was normal to feel this way. I wasn't totally human, and I wasn't totally vampire, so I had no precedent for my hormone levels. I had no idea if all women were this aroused this easily at this point in their lives.

Just the sight of him sometimes would make my heart race, my mouth go dry, and my sex ache. Jesus, just thinking about it now was making me slightly deranged. Didn't help that they all ran around half-naked either. I know it was more comfortable for them, even if they weren't phasing all the time like they used to. They all ran at a toasty 108-109 degrees. They simply would burn up if they wore much, especially now in the springtime and coming summer.

The breeze blew across my face and I raised my face to the sun. I felt my hair stir against my back. Even in a ponytail, like it was now, it hung in heavy, curled, bronze ringlets to the middle of my butt. Unbound, it was nearly to the middle of my thighs. I had to cut it soon. But Jacob _loved my hair_. I caught him staring at it all the time. He played with it all the time, loved to run his fingers through it and spread it out around me. He'd grown his out too. It was now to the bottom of his shoulder blades. He didn't plan on quitting phasing any time soon. He knew I would probably live a long time and he wanted to also. Once a week, he would phase into his overly-furry self and run around the perimeter of the village, checking the fence, just to do it.

Claire was ten years old now and I heard her laughing as Quil watched her exercising her horse, Bejasta. I chuckled, turning my head to watch them. It meant 'bear' in Spanish. Funny how so many thought the wolves were bears in the beginning. She visited every day when Quil finished work with the construction company he now worked for.

I smelled him approach, even though he was silent as a cat. At 6' 8" tall, he was hard to miss, even in his silence. Barefoot, and wearing his usual pair of cut off jeans, he slipped up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, crossing his hands over my stomach and leaning down to my 5' 6" frame to rest his chin on my shoulder.

I sighed and put my hands over his. He twisted his head and kissed me on the cheek. "Whatcha doin'?" he inquired.

"Just enjoying the sun. By the way, Leah went to Olympia, she won't be back until tomorrow."

"Okay. I see Quil, where's everyone else?"

"Seth is at school." He was 23 now, and in medical school, almost a doctor. He'd been inspired by Carlisle. He planned to return and work at the local hospital with him, and tend to the people on the reservation. He came home a lot of nights, even though he had a dorm room in Seattle. Often, it was easier for him to stay at the dorm, depending on his schedule.

Jake had gone back and finished his last two years of high school in one year and a summer, then settled into life in the village. The reservation had opened a small casino, and Jacob worked there as the head of security, not that they ever had any problems. One look at the massive size of most of the Quileute boys kept everyone minding their p's and q's.

Esme had helped design and build all the houses here in the village. She was in her glory as she tried to make each small home unique and suit the tastes of the owner. They were all impressed and happy with the results.

"I don't know where Embry is though."

"I think I do."

"Where?"

"Kelly's place." Kelly was young girl he met that worked at the grocery store in town. She was 22, with blonde, spiky hair and big blue eyes and big boobs. Embry was smitten. So far, he had not imprinted. My boobs weren't so small anymore either. They topped out at a D cup, but looked rather large due to my slender frame.

"Ah, ha!"

He chuckled. "Yeah, who would have thought he'd fall for a pale-face?" he joked.

"You did," I teased.

He laughed loudly now. "I certainly did. You hungry? Thirsty?" We kept a separate refrigerator in the basement of our house with donated blood for me. Carlisle procured it for me, claiming I was a hemophiliac. I hunted also and kept the dontated stuff for times when it was inconvenient or impossible to hunt. I did eat normal food now. There were things I could stomach, really rare meat for one. Jacob bought me steaks all the time and would, 'scare it with the skillet' as he said, and serve it to me dripping in blood and still red, just seared on the outside.

"No, not yet. Let's go inside. You have any plans for this afternoon?"

"No, why?" I shrugged.

"Just missed you, want to hang out without everyone else around."

Quil and Claire trotted up to us, Quil astride his horse, Kingam. "We're going for a ride, be back in a couple hours."

"Okay, have fun, Claire-bear," Jacob said, waving at her.

She waved back and they took off at a canter. "Well, that's all of them," I said.

He took my hand and led me back into the house. He let go and sat on the couch. "What did you want to do? Your wish is my command," he joked. He held out his arms, indicating that anything I wanted to do was fine. His wing span was enormous and covered the length of the full size couch.

I stared at his bare chest and the rippling muscles of his eight-pack, his bulging pectoral muscles and the huge circumference of his biceps that were as big around as my thighs. I let my eyes play over the cords in his neck, down his torso again and over the bulging muscles of his thighs as he sat sprawled casually on the couch, his hands having dropped to the cushions.

I closed my eyes as I felt my breath speed up, and my sex flood with wetness.

I heard him inhale deeply, and then moan under his breath. "Jesus," he whispered in a rough voice, and I knew he could smell my arousal. "Don't look at me like that."

I opened my eyes and walked to him on shaky legs. "I look at you like that every day." I put one knee on the couch next to him and my hand on his shoulders. I used the other to pull the cloth scrunchy out of my hair. I tossed it over my shoulder and shook my hair, letting it fall, brushing the back of my thighs.

I was wearing nothing but a pair of cloth short-shorts and tank top with spaghetti straps. He blew air from in between his pursed lips, but didn't move to stop me. Encouraged I brought up my other leg and slid neatly into his lap, sliding up his thighs until I was pressed against him.

I flattened my breasts against his hard, hot chest. He moaned and closed his eyes. "Renesme, what are you doing?" he asked, his voice still raspy.

I could feel his enormous erection against my stomach. I brought my hands up to cradle his cheeks and slowly bent forward, watching his eyes. They were open wide, his breathing ragged, but he still didn't stop me.

When I was a fraction of an inch from his full, wide lips, I whispered, "Kiss me, Jacob. Not like you usually do, like you want to."

His breath hitched. "How is it that you think I want to kiss you?" he asked, testing.

"Like a lover, Jacob. Slow, wet, deep, and hot with lots of tongue," I encouraged, trying to put the image in his head without using my ability.

His eyes closed again and he made a soft groaning sound from deep in his chest. "Nessie, I don't know. If I do that, I might not be able to … stop there."

"I don't care, kiss me, Jacob. It's not enough anymore."

He knew what I was saying. His chaste, brotherly kisses were not enough. I wanted more. I knew he did. He just wasn't sure I was ready. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

His hands came up to cup my waist, his long fingers meeting around my small waist. "So sure," I whispered. "Want you so badly. Love you so much."

He groaned and surrendered, leaning forward that last bit and pressing his lips to mine. He was gentle, careful as he moved his lips over mine. I was impatient and stuck my tongue against his teeth. "Kiss. Me!" I ground out. He moaned and opened his mouth.

Then our tongues were dancing, and he was crushing me to him so hard, I could barely breathe. He tipped his head and kissed me hard, swirling his tongue over mine and moaning again. I responded with equal passion, pressing myself to his naked chest, pushing my belly into his hardness. He broke away and groaned loudly, "Jesus, you're going to be the death of me, Nessie."

I chuckled, sounding shaky. "I'm ready, Jacob."

He was shaking his head. "No, kissing is one thing, the rest is another thing altogether."

I sprang forward and latched onto the muscle in his throat, biting gently until the skin broke just a bit. He stiffened into stone and bucked his hips into me. I licked his throat, watching the small abrasion heal up. I heard his heart beat kick up another notch.

"Touch me," I commanded. I took his hand from my waist, and slid it up my stomach, under my shirt. He hesitated, but then slid his hot palm up over my aching breast. I moaned and pushed into his hand. "Pleeeaaasssseee," I begged.

"Oh my God, you're making me insane," he admitted.

I leaned back and crossed my hands over the hem, ripping my tank top up and over my head and tossing it behind me. My hair flew everywhere and then came down like a cape around me, brushing his thighs. I didn't think his eyes could get any wider, but they did, then they rolled in his head and he leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "Jacob, please," I begged again.

"Do you know how crazy it makes me hearing you ask me to touch you?" he asked. "You're so damn beautiful."

"Then stop resisting me," I said.

He shook his head. "Nessie, let's take it slow."

"Why? Slow, it's been eight frikkin' years, Jacob. How slow can we go?" I nearly shouted.

He chuckled. "You haven't been an adult that long."

"Long enough."

"No, there's more than one way to do this. Ways I can … pleasure you, without going all the way."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Lots of things."

"Like what?"

"Your father," he said automatically.

I laughed. "I'll take care of him."

"No, seriously. I'm afraid of hurting you, afraid of having you not be ready and regretting this, getting you pregnant, the list goes on."

"You won't hurt me, Jacob. I'm more likely to hurt you."

"You could get pregnant, we don't know."

"Wear a condom," I barked.

"We're not married," he stuttered out, in a last ditch attempt, as I shot down every one of his excuses.

"So what? You know I don't care about that."

"Your parents might," he quipped.

"This has nothing to do with my parents and you know it. They expect this to happen, and you know it. It's been inevitable since we first laid eyes on each other. I'm tired of waiting, Jacob." I paused and took a deep breath, trying to calm down, feeling his rejection wash through me. "I'm so frustrated," I admitted. "I want this so bad. You never fight me on anything, why are you fighting me on this?" My voice was rising.

I hadn't realized how upset I was until his finger rose and wiped a tear from the corner of my eye. I didn't cry often, it took a lot for this body to produce tears. He knew that too, it only happened when I was very, very upset. "Don't cry, baby," he crooned, and then wrapped his arms around me. He sucked in his breath. "Christ, you still don't have a shirt on," he muttered, as if he'd just realized it. I pressed my breasts into his chest. "Ohhh Gooodddd," he moaned.

I rose up to put my lips at my ear, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Jacob," I said softly. "I love you."

"I know," he replied. "You know I love you too."

"I'm burning for you, Jacob. I look at you every day and pant over this body."

He snorted.

"I mean it, and every time you touch me, all I can think is that I want more – much, much more." His breathing sped up again. The words were spilling out now. "I want all of you. I want to be that close. I dream about it, fantasize about you, wonder what it would feel like to have you inside me."

A moan broke lose from deep in his chest. I knew he was imagining it. "Do you fantasize about it, Jacob?" He whimpered. "Don't you want to be that close to me?"

"Awww, shit, Nessie, you know I do," he conceded.

"Do you masturbate thinking of me?" I asked suddenly.

He jerked in surprise. I knew I'd startled him with that question. "Uggg, yes!"

"Well, I fantasize about it all the time when I masturbate."

He jerked again. Could he really be surprised? "You masturbate," he said slowly.

I nodded. "Does that surprise you?"

"I don't know," he said, sounding confused.

"Can you picture it?" I asked cheekily.

He rolled his eyes. "Thanks for that, just make this harder, why don't you?"

"I want to make it hard, that's one of the things I fantasize about," I said quickly.

He closed his eyes and his hands gripped my waist tightly. "One of the things?" he asked, sounding totally bewildered. "What do you fantasize, Nessie?" he asked, unable to help his curiosity. I bet he thought they were tame compared to his.

"Wanna see?" I asked.

He hesitated, but curiosity got the better of him. He nodded, actually looking scared, but unable to resist. Time to pull out the big guns.

I pressed my hand to his cheek and hit him hard with one of my most lurid fantasies, the one where he was hovering above me, balancing on his forearms, my legs curled high around his waist, his heavy sex sliding in and out of me, our hair all tangled up together, me arching my back in invitation and him leaning down to suckle my breast. I actually felt my sex spasm with want and I moaned.

He shouted, "Oh Christ!" He bucked up into me. I pictured my hands on his chiseled butt, yanking him into me, and biting his nipple gently. "Nessie, stop!" he screamed.

I didn't stop. I changed the picture, him behind, entering me doggie-style, holding onto my hips and slamming into me, so hard and deep, it pressed my ass cheeks to the side. Then him lifting me with a hand on each breast and thrusting into me with my head thrown back against his chest. "Jesus, Ness, please!" he whimpered.

The next one was me riding him on top. My hands were on his magnificent chest, his hands on my breasts as I rode him hard, my hair wild around my body and brushing his torso and his legs. His head was thrown back over the back of the couch, his eyes squeezed shut. His hands were fists against my back. "Ness, for the love of God, this is torture!" he whimpered.

I hit him with one more, me taking him into my mouth and sucking hard. A primal, low, man scream erupted from the back of his throat. It was more like a growl that vibrated through my body. "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, God help me!" he wailed.

I crushed my mouth to his, grinding my pelvis into him. He groaned, nearly choking on a sob of surrender and kissed me back. "You win," he growled. He stood up with his arms around my waist and I curled my legs around him. He carried me as though I weighed nothing into the bedroom and set me on the bed. His eyes were wild as he reached for me, and pulled my shorts and underwear off at the same time.

He inhaled and his eyes rolled again. He shucked his shorts as I levered myself back onto the bed. He pounced, bouncing the mattress and he landed gracefully, hovering over me on all fours. He was quivering from head to toe, but I wasn't worried.

His hands started at my hips and rode up my body, touching me everywhere. He dove for me kissing me until I could barely breathe. I spread my legs and he lowered himself, propping on one hip. His hand came down between my legs, sliding his gigantic fingers through my wetness and grunting in satisfaction as he felt the dewy foam between my legs. "Feel how wet you make me?"

I reached for him and stroked him firmly. "Oh shit," he muttered. My fingers didn't meet around his girth. He was even bigger than I'd thought. I gulped.

"I won't hurt you," he said, taking my gulp for fear.

I stared into his eyes. "I know, I'm just impressed."

He barked out a quick huff of laughter, and then kissed me again. The warm tingles racing through my body were indescribable. He moved down and dropped his head between my legs. I moaned and he gave me a lustful look. "Like this idea, do you?" he teased.

I nodded, "You have no idea."

He chuckled and dove into me, licking and lapping and sucking my wetness. I was bucking my hips into him. It felt better than anything I'd ever felt before. "Oh yes, Jake, yes!" I shouted.

His tongue swirled around my pleasure center and then he lapped it and sucked it into his mouth gently. His sucking intensified, his tongue swirling faster and faster. I felt one long arm snake up my body and pinch my nipple gently. At the same time, a long, thick finger on the other hand slid inside my dewy entrance and crooked up toward the front of my vagina.

He sucked a little harder and pushed the finger deeper, swirling it around. It felt so good, I didn't know whether to scream or cry. So I did both. He suddenly started sucking so hard, that I thought I was just about to loose my mind. Ripples of pleasure were shooting from my clitoris and my vagina to my stomach, over my breasts all the way up my neck. My body was suddenly rigid with near pain-inducing pleasure and then I went into orbit. "Owwwwww, Gaaawwwddd, fuck yes!" I screamed.

He jerked, probably surprised to hear that word come out of my mouth. I could feel my clitoris vibrating against his lips and he sucked again, setting up another round of spasms. I felt wetness gush out of me and he moaned, moving down to lap it up. My thighs were coated, and he lapped at them with his big, wolfy tongue as well while I lay there quivering and trying to catch my breath.

I finally calmed, and coaxed him up to me, winding my hands in his hair. "That was so good," I whispered.

He grinned. "I'm glad."

"Proud of yourself?" I asked.

"Just happy I could do that for you." He flopped to my side, and leaned in, kissing me gently. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you are? How insane you make me?" He grimaced and turned away from me. I realized what he was doing. He was stopping. He'd made me cum and he thought he could stop this now.

"Oh no, buster. Not going to work," I declared.

"What?" he asked, trying to look innocent.

I just shook my head, smiling indulgently and flipped myself up to straddle his hips, plopping my wet sex down on top of his towering erection. He huffed in surprise. "Ness…"

"No way, buddy." I slid back and forth coating him with my excess wetness.

"I'm okay," he protested. He grimaced anyway, unable to help it.

I shook my head again and leaned down to kiss him slowly, but deeply. My fingernails teased his nipples and he let out small sexy grunts. "Make love to me," I said, gazing into his eyes.

"I just did," he said.

I shook my head. "Stop being afraid, my Jacob. It's time," I said with conviction.

He got the strangest look on his face then. It was almost blank, then he winced and turned to the side. "What?"

He shook his head, his hand coming up to cover his eyes.

Something had upset him. "Tell me," I insisted. I pulled his hand away so I could look in his eyes. He rarely denied me when I insisted.

"Your … mother used to call me that," he said quietly.

"What?" I asked, confused.

He cleared his throat. "My Jacob," he said, barely audible.

My eyes went wide and I hung my head. 'I'm sorry." I knew some of that story. I'd coaxed it out of my parents long ago, everything that had led to him coming into my life, how he'd come to be there in the first place at the time of my birth. My father had been honest, leaving out most details I was sure, but he was surprisingly forthcoming, telling me that my mother and Jacob had been in love with one another and were best friends. But she'd loved him also, and in the end, she had chosen my father. "God, I'm sorry," I said again.

"It's okay, it just shocked me for a sec," he said, shaking it off.

"I won't do it again," I promised.

"It's okay, I don't mind, really. I am definitely yours, YOUR Jacob. I … kind of like it actually. It doesn't remind me of her any more. I don't feel that way about her. It just shocked me, really. You know I haven't thought of her that way since the day you were born." He was babbling, clearly uncomfortable with this subject.

"I know, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I won't be. I love you so much," he said softly. "You call me anything your little heart desires. I love only you."

"Then make love to me."

He gulped. "You're absolutely sure?"

I nodded and smiled. "You're mine, Jacob Black, I want all of you." His eyes were suspiciously wet.

I leaned down and licked his neck again, nipping gently. He stiffened again and I felt his sex throb beneath me. He hadn't lost his excitement through our entire discussion.

"You are so hard to resist. This is killing me."

"Stop resisting. Make me yours in every way, Jake." I paused and whispered in his ear. "I want you inside me."

I had sworn I wouldn't do this, but I couldn't stand it anymore. Knowing his genetic imperative, even though I didn't completely understand it, that he would become whatever I needed him to be, I broke down and used that. I said the words that I hoped would break him. My lips went to his ear and I used the lowest, sexiest voice I could muster. "I _need_ you, Jacob. My body is going to go up in flames. I'm so horny and aroused sometimes, like now, that it _hurts_. I can't wait any more. You're the only one that can take this pain away from me. I _neeeedddd_ you to be my lover."

He gasped, a tremor running through his entire frame. "I can't stand this!" he hissed. "Ahhh, crap, Damn me all the way to hell. I'll worry about being a dead man later, I guess," he conceded. I knew he was referring my father.

"Does that mean yes?"

He groaned and pulled me into a kiss, his eyes wild. "Yeessss, you sexy minx, yes!" he hissed directly into my mouth.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

My heart took off at a million miles an hour. His hand was suddenly between my legs, pushing against my sex, pushing against my little bud of nerves and sending shots of pleasure all through my stomach.

He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out the draw, fumbling into the back recesses and pulled out a box of condoms. I grinned, knowing he'd bought them just in case. However, it meant that he really had been thinking of it for a while.

He smiled sheepishly, and shrugged, pulling one out and ripping the wrapper. I took it from him. "Let me," I said.

His eyes were wide as I bent over him, licking the gigantic mushroomed head of his shaft. He jerked his hips, unable to help it. I placed it carefully over the end, and put my mouth on it, slowly sliding it down his shaft with my lips and tongue. He moaned and grabbed handfuls of covers, most likely, trying not to grab me. When I could go no further, I pushed the rest down with my hand. He was absolutely enormous. I was pretty good at eyeballing size and distance. He had to be ten inches long, and so thick it was ridiculous.

He rolled me onto my back and began suckling my nipples, fingering my nether lips. I was shocked at the exquisite pleasure he was coaxing out of me. I reached for him pulling him to me. Time to get this show on the road, I thought.

He hesitated, but let me place him at my door. He held my gaze, watching my reaction carefully, I assumed. He pushed gently until just the tip of his head was lodged in between my outer lips and then lowered his arms to the bed, resting on his forearms, as they framed my shoulders. He was so freaking huge. He was a giant. While I was not tiny, I was only 5' 6" and I was very slender. My waist was only 20 inches around. I was staring at his pecs, tense with anticipation.

"Ready?" he asked softly. I nodded.

He pushed gently and I felt his head pop inside. I gasped, and he stopped. "Feels strange," I said.

He pushed about an inch past his head inside, and moaned. "Oh my God, you feel so hot and wet. Your skin is so smooth, like silk," he said as he ran his hand over my shoulder.

"More," I encouraged.

He pressed deeper, another inch. He retreated slightly and I watched his outward slide tug the protesting inner lips out. It was truly like he was wedged inside. It looked fantastic. It felt so good. He pushed forward again, carefully, and sunk deeper. He probably had only the head and a couple inches inside. I was already feeling my muscles burn and stretch.

He retreated and pushed in again until he hit my invisible barrier. I gasped and felt my snug canal suddenly clamp down. He stopped and panted. "This may hurt a little," he warned.

"It's okay, do it."

He braced himself and gave a quick jab, tearing through my hymen like cotton candy. It was uncomfortable. A small quick sting was all I felt and I kept my face intentionally smooth. It was so strange and exciting, feeling him there, like nothing I'd imagined. "You okay?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes, I'm fine, barely felt it."

He grimaced.

"Really, it was a quick sting, all gone."

"Relax," he commanded.

"I am relaxed." He cocked an eyebrow up in the air. He thrust back and forth gently, a good portion of him still outside me. "More." He thrust a little harder, sliding to the back wall of my tunnel. There was still a good couple inches outside me. "Do it," I encouraged.

He shook his head. "No, it will hurt you."

"No, I'm tough on the inside too, I think. I'm not loosening up, am I?" He gave a couple of experimental thrusts. I moaned at the sensations that caused, but I knew and could feel, as he could, that my walls were refusing to stretch out for his thick shaft, but they were being forced to give as he forced himself in and out. "Don't think I'm going to either," I added, sighing in pleasure as he gave another thrust.

"Then I think I've just died and gone to heaven," he quipped.

""Don't die, you're not finished. I want all of you, Jacob, every last millimeter. Please!"

He groaned, and pushed, and then whispered, "Oh my God, this is insane pleasure, Renesme. Awwww, Christ Almighty."

He stared deeply into my eyes, judging my sincerity, I guessed. "Brace yourself," he warned. He pushed forward again until I felt him hit the back wall again and keep pushing. He was panting and his eyes slid shut in pleasure and then he pulled back and slammed into me hard. He did this once, twice, three times. I felt my cervix flex and then snap back as he retreated.

Then he shoved in, stretching me impossibly, but there was truly no pain. He wiggled his hips gently, searching for an angle, and then it happened. I felt the head of his cock move past my cervix. Not really past it, so much as inside it. It collapsed in the center, back into my womb, and the domed muscle formed a cap over the end of his cock as he sank all the way into me, groaning with intense pleasure. My legs were wrapped securely around his large hips, my legs as wide as they would go, and I could feel the quiver in his thigh muscles. I knew it wasn't loss of strength, it was pleasure so intense, his muscles were vibrating.

"Awwwwwwwwwww, Ommmmmmmmm, oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh," he groaned, holding himself embedded, and reaching for control. I stayed still, waiting, listening to his ragged breath.

"Kiss me," I requested.

He slid his tongue into my mouth and crushed his lips to mine, but then backed off some and kissed me slowly. It did, however, fulfill my request of slow, wet, and deep. He retreated slowly and moaned directly into my mouth. There was something unbearably erotic about that, and I answered with a moan of my own.

I smiled and pushed against him at the same time I felt him start to push and he sank deeply into my canal, balls deep. We both moaned deeply and he froze. He let me get used to it. I was stretched so taut, but it didn't hurt. It felt wonderful. I squeezed my muscles experimentally and he bucked, rubbing against my clitoris and hissed through his teeth. "Okay?" I asked, teasingly.

He smiled. "I felt that in my …"

"Your what?" I asked, holding my giggles back now.

He shook his head, his chest rolling with laughter. "You are a vixen," he stated.

"Your balls?" I asked. He pressed his lips together, not sure whether to be amused or appalled. "You can talk dirty to me, Jacob. I might be a virgin, but I don't have virgin ears."

"You sure?" he teased.

"I'm sure, fuck me," I said, just to shock him.

He barked and pulled back a couple of inches and shoved back in. "Love you so much, Renesme. I can't believe I'm inside you, all the way inside you. Waited so long." He buried his face in my hair beside my neck and began to thrust, making his strokes longer each time until he was pulling almost all the way out. I would feel the glans tug gently at my inner lips and then he would slide back in, pressing deep, stretching my cervix gently, groaning and doing it again. "Oh God, you are so unearthly tight. Feels so good, baby."

We didn't speak, just began erupting in moans, growls and hisses of pleasure for a few minutes. He shifted and every stroke was pressing his pubic bone against my clitoris. It was throbbing with need and cringing with pleasure. He was so wide and long, every stroke felt like he was splitting me in two, but I felt no pain, nothing but pleasure. He strokes got softer again and I noticed he was holding back from sliding in all the way. He rose up on his arms. "Keep giving me all of it," I panted.

He shook his head, kissing me softly, but continuing to make, long, slow thrusts, but stopping short before hitting the back wall or pressing into my cervix. Then he said, "No, don't want to hurt you."

"You won't," I assured him. "Please Jake."

He was so big. It was truly a monstrous weapon invading me, but made me nearly delirious with pleasure. He pulled back and stroked into me hard, sliding in all the way again, sounds I knew had never come out of my mouth, starting pouring out of the back of my throat. I could feel my cervix flexing, nipping at the end of his blunt head.

I began slamming my hips up to meet him, encouraging him to go faster. "Oh God, Jake, please, faster!"

He growled and began stroking faster. "Heaven help me, you are so tight," he groaned. And I was. It felt like he was forcing himself into me with every stroke. The resistance never lessened. I got hotter and wetter, but remained just as snug. I didn't know if that was my make up or natural and didn't care. It felt so good, I began wailing, feeling tears streak down my cheeks.

He kept stroking, his thrusts were hitting my hips with punishing force and his stomach would roll over my pleasure zone with every slide, making it cry out with pleasure, and cause my muscles to squeeze him like a constrictor.

My whole body rippled with pleasure and I screamed as my climax finally hit, thrashing my head and gripping his huge biceps like an anchor. I couldn't stop myself. With a wild cry, my head struck out like a cobra and I bit his pectoral muscle just above his nipple, breaking the skin.

He screamed, but I could tell it wasn't in pain. "Awwwwwwwgrrrrrrr!" He crashed into me as deep as he could go, and froze, going stiff as a board. My walls massaged his shaft with tight, squeezing convulsions and I licked the dribble of blood I'd created even as I watched the wound close. I groaned and then shrieked, "Oh My God! Yes, Jacob! Yes, Yes. So good, love you! COME WITH ME, BABY!"

He threw his head back and arched his back. I watched his body heave and release, his stomach muscles rippling with the effort he needed to push inside me and stroke so hard. "Owwwww! Owww, Owww, owww! Ahhhhh, Gaaawwwwwddddd. Yes, yes, yes, Nessie."

His chest was glistening with sweat. His face contorted into such an expression of ecstasy. He slammed into me once more. The feeling was electric, and I felt the great vein in his shaft pulse as he prepared to cum. I shot out over the edge into oblivion like sling shot.

I groaned and then shrieked at the top of my lungs, "Oh my Gaaawwwddd! Again! Yes, Jaaaaakkkkeeee! Awwwww, yeah! Love you, yes, yes, oh Jesus, so good."

His dick throbbed mightily inside me and then he was bellowing, howling so loud, it nearly hurt my ears. Owwwwww, Owww, Owww, Oww! Love you, love you, love you. Owwwww, Owww, Owww, Owww!" He sounded like just like a wolf howling with mind-bending pleasure. I could feel him pulse, jerk against me, crushing my clit, and release inside me. My muscles would spasm, sucking him deeper. The condom caught it but I could still feel the force of his ejaculate splatter against my cervix.

I shook and heaved, my body freezing and releasing over and over again, gasping for air as I rode out the waves of pleasure. It finally subsided and we lay panting, trying to catch our breath.

"Oh my God, I think I almost passed out," he said and then flopped to the side, his softening member sliding out of me. He grabbed a tissue from the bedside stand and carefully removed the condom, throwing it in the trash. He quickly rolled over and pulled me into his arms, rolling me on top of him. My hair draped around us like a curtain, my sex leaking fluid into his navel.

He cradled my head in his enormous hands, tears in his eyes, and leaned forward to kiss me tenderly and gently, I actually felt my eyes moisten. We kissed leisurely for a few minutes but finally broke apart and I laid my head on his chest. He sighed, rubbing his hands up and down my back, stroking pieces of my hair and making me shiver with the warm tingles he was producing. "You okay?" he asked.

I huffed. "Way more than okay," I sighed.

He chuckled. "That was so intense, Renesme. I've never felt pleasure like that."

I smiled and kissed his chest. "Me either, I love you so much it hurts, Jacob," I said quietly.

He stroked me tenderly. "You are my heart," he said simply.

I yawned and he chuckled. "Tired," I admitted. "You fucked me stupid," I joked.

He swatted me gently on the back of the head. "Don't turn into a potty mouth," he scolded.

I laughed. "It's fun to shock you."

"Stop it," he said sternly.

I lifted my head. "Does it really bother you?"

"Not if we're alone I guess," I conceded.

"So, I can talk dirty when we're fooling around only."

"Sounds good," he nodded, unable to keep his lips from twitching with amusement.

I flopped down. "You loved it and you know it," I teased.

He huffed. "I love you, silly girl."

"Love you too … my Jacob."

He didn't tense up. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Sleep now, baby. I'll feed you when you wake up."

"Okay," I slurred, feeling sleep pull at me. I'd never been this content in my life. I'd made love to my Jacob. Life didn't get any better any than this.

Then I heard a loud growling bellow of red rage on the wind. Oh crap, I should have known this couldn't be easy. There was no mistaking that roar. It was my father, and he'd heard us. I sighed, and Jake tensed. "Maybe we should split," he suggested.

I laughed. I couldn't help it.

"It's not funny, Renesme. He's going to be here in a few minutes, and I better not be naked when that happens."

"I guess not. I suppose I should get dressed to face the music, eh?" He nodded, actually looking frightened and rolled out of bed, grabbing a pair of sweatpants, and for once, an old, black tee shirt.

I sighed and got up, rummaging for sweats. Might as well cover up, I thought. So much for a nap.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Cottage

Cullen Property

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

We'd just returned from a hunting trip. Bella, Alice and I. As we approached the cottage, Alice stopped dead in her tracks.

"Uh oh," Alice said suddenly.

"What?" Bella asked.

"You guys get inside," she said frantically.

"What?" I barked.

"Just get him inside Bella!" he nearly screeched. I instantly knew it had to do with Renesme. She couldn't see Jake, but she could see Nessie if she concentrated, but it would give her a headache. She said she was always fuzzy. However, there were instances, when, if Renesme was experiencing a particularly strong human emotion, or outburst, Alice would see her.

"Me, why? What's wrong?" I barked.

"Please!" she begged.

I frowned, but turned toward the door. "What the hell?" unable to make myself go. I was too curious when she did this. It drove me nuts. She was purposely thinking of Jasper, and the lioness she'd killed, and the dress she was designing for Rosalie in quick succession, trying to keep me out.

"Alice!" I barked again.

She sighed. "Probably won't help anyway. Crap, too late," sounded defeated.

Then I heard it. The sound of shuddering, out of control pleasure.

_"Oh My God! Yes, Yes, Yes. So good, love you! COME WITH ME, BABY!"_

Right on the heels of that, the sound of a wolf, albeit in human form, in the grip of some out of control activity. A human howl, but one that only a werewolf could make that sounded just like a wolf. Come with me, baby? My mind stumbled.

_"Owwwww! Owww, Owww, owww! Ahhhhh, Gaaawwwwwddddd."_

I tensed, but then realized it wasn't a howl of warning or pain. It was also a howl of pleasure, mind-bending, out of control pleasure by the sound of it.

_"Oh my Gaaawwwddd! Again! Yes, Jaaaaakkkkeeee! Awwwww, yeah! Love you, yes, yes, oh Jesus, so good." _Was that my daughter? My mind stumbled and froze. Then it was confirmed.

_"Yes, yes, yes, Nessie, Owwwwww, Owww, Owww, Oww! Love you, love you, love you."_

I growled, seeing red, lurching into a crouch. Alice and Bella each grabbed one arm, halting my spring. I snarled and thrashed. They both wrapped their arms around me, one in front, and one in back, to contain me, and I was still dragging them both across the bracken on the forest floor, snarling like a mad man.

"Stop!" Bella cried.

"Jasper!" Alice shouted at the top of her lungs. I'd managed to shake Alice, sending her tumbling to the ground, but I couldn't spare her any mind or apology at the moment. Bella still had a hold of me but I was dragging her.

Out of nowhere Emmett and Jasper appeared and got their hands on me. I fought them but it was useless. I shouted with rage again. "Let me go, I'm gonna kill that mangy dog!" I shouted.

"Now, now," Emmett said, trying not to laugh. That only made me angrier.

Now that the boys had me firmly in hand, Bella moved to face me and put her hands on my cheeks, staring at my wild eyes. "Calm down, Edward!" she ordered.

I huffed and my lips curled up. A hiss shot out of my mouth. I had no control over it.

She gave me her, 'Don't you dare!' look, and I took a deep breath and receded, clamping my mouth shut. She waited a couple more seconds. "Relax, you knew this was going to happen," she said in a perfectly controlled voice.

I uttered an oath I usually wouldn't use in the presence of ladies. "Fucker!"

"Stop it!" he yelled, and shook my head a little to get my attention.

I refocused on her. "Let me go!" I growled.

She shook her head at the boys and they clamped tighter onto my arms. "Damn it, Edward, calm down. I'm not letting them let go of you until you do."

I closed my eyes, and took several deep breaths, willing the rage to stop shaking my limbs. "How can you be calm?" I hissed. "He just … FUCKED … our daughter," I nearly screamed in her face.

She raised one eyebrow. "No, he didn't."

"WHAT?"

She sighed. "He just made love to our daughter, Edward. You knew this was going to happen. She's an adult. He loves her. She loves him. It was bound to happen."

I gulped. "He's supposed to marry her first," I spit out.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not 1918, Edward. They don't have to be married. The important thing is that they love each other. You KNOW Jacob would never hurt her."

I choked. "Damn it! Let me go." I relaxed my stance and hung limp.

Bella nodded and they let go of my arms. "You run, and I'll hunt you down," she warned.

I seethed and snarled, not really mad at her. She had a point. I knew this would happen. I just didn't expect it so soon. I didn't realize how it would affect me. I hadn't allowed myself to think about it much. Intellectually, I knew Jacob wouldn't hurt her. But hearing that howl quite literally almost undid me at the seams. Hers was just as passionate as his. Even wandering near the idea of what he did to produce those sounds from her had my mind skittering into darkness. I'd never heard a howl of pleasure that intense in my life, except maybe my own, and those were human. This was a wolf howl. I'd never heard a human wolf in the grip of sexual pleasure. Knowing Renesme caused it made my stomach twist with sickness. I gagged and spun around, facing the house and hanging my head in my hands. The boys and Alice drifted off, but were hovering close by unless I decided to bolt.

Bella wrapped her arms around me from behind, not restraining this time. Comforting. "It's okay, Edward. She's okay, I'm sure of it."

"I know that," I spat.

She kissed me between my shoulder blades. "This is her happiness, Edward. There's nothing to be mad about," she said softly. "I know it's hard to believe, it's been such a short time, but she is a full grown woman now."

"How long do you think this has been going on?" I asked testily.

She chuckled. "I don't know, but I'll bet not long. It's none of our business anyway."

"None of our business?" I nearly shouted.

"No, it's not. I'm sure they didn't mean for us to hear. We were gone. That might have been why they chose this time in the first place. In fact, I'd bet on it. We came back earlier than planned," she said gently.

"It makes sense. I hope to hell he hadn't meant for me to hear that. No, he wouldn't have wanted that. Jacob couldn't be that stupid. I could cheerfully kill him with my bare hands right now though."

She slipped around to my front and wound her arms around my neck. I hugged her to me. "It's fine. You want me to go talk to them?"

"I want to talk to that mangy mongrel."

"No, I don't think that's a good idea."

I scowled at her. "You're right, I might rip his head off."

She pressed her lips together in an effort not to smile. The tension suddenly drained out of me but I scowled silently. "Trust me. I'll go. They're probably preparing for World War III up there," she said.

"Why?"

She clucked her tongue. "Edward, if we heard them, then they heard you," she stated the obvious.

He sighed. "I can't see her right now, or him."

"I think that's best. I'll be back in a little while. Go inside, and wait there. Please, I'm begging you. Don't start a fight over this."

I just looked at her.

"Promise me," she demanded.

I sighed, defeated. "I promise," I said sullenly and stomped inside. I heard the rest of them melt into the woods.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

La Push Village

Jacob Black's House

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I rapped on the door sharply three times.

Jacob answered the door, his expression wary. I saw Renesme a couple feet behind him. Her hair was in wild disarray but she was dressed in a tee shirt and sweat pants. Good thing Edward didn't see that hair. It would set him off again.

Jacob backed up and waved me in, his eyes darting around outside, looking for others. He shut the door and backed up to the couch. "Have a seat," he said quietly.

I walked in and sat down on the edge of the cushion. Renesme came and sat beside me. Jacob grabbed a kitchen chair, spun it around backwards facing us, and sat down, his arms crossed over the back of it.

Renesme cleared her throat. "How bad is it?" she inquired quietly.

I smirked, pressing my lips together again. It was funny. This wasn't bothering me like I thought it might.

"Mom?" Renesme whispered.

Jacob raised one eyebrow, perplexed by my expression. I couldn't stand it. They both looked so guilty. I let the air out of my lungs in a whoosh, and started laughing. I tried to stop it but it was useless. The harder I tried the worse it got. Finally I was bellowing with laughter, holding my sides and rocking.

They were both looking at me in astonishment, totally bewildered and that made me laugh even harder. I sucked in noisy breathes of air, and snorted. Then they began to chuckle with me. It took a couple minutes for me to get myself under control. "I'm, I'm sorry."

"No problem," Jake muttered. "I was waiting to be decapitated."

I barked out another huff of laughter. "It was a near thing," I admitted.

"You weren't supposed to be here, obviously," Renesme pointed out.

"I figured that was how it was. We got lucky, ran into pride of five lionesses hunting together. We took them down and then headed back."

He nodded. "I'm sorry, Bella. You weren't supposed to know yet."

"I know."

"Why'd it take so long for you to get here?" he asked.

"It took four of us to hold him back and then calm him down," I told them. "Alice and I barely held him. Jasper and Emmett showed up and we got him corralled."

"Oh shit," Jacob said and actually shuddered. "Is he gonna come after me?"

"I made him promise he wouldn't."

"It was my choice, Mom," Renesme cut in.

I patted her knee. "I'm sure it was sweety. I know Jacob would never push you or hurt you." I smiled at him affectionately. He smiled back. Renesme flushed and I grinned at her. "What?"

"Actually, Jacob has put me off for weeks. I pushed it. Took me forever to talk him into it."

I chuckled and Jacob actually blushed under his cinnamon skin, hanging his head in his arms to hide it. "Christ, Nessie, I don't think she needs the details," he muttered.

"No, I don't, but it's okay. I'll tell him it was your idea. It might help."

"I doubt it," Jacob whispered.

"You want me to talk to him?" Renesme asked.

"That's probably a good idea, but not today, okay? Give him a day to cool down. I'll talk to him some more."

"First time I wish we didn't live so close," Jacob muttered, looking away at the wall.

I chortled, I couldn't help it. "I'm sorry," I apologized again. "I don't why this is striking me so funny."

"Me either," Jacob grumbled.

Renesme and I both giggled. "Can I have a minute with my mom, Jake?"

He looked at her and said, "Of course." He stood and went out the front door.

We waited a minute till we were sure he was far enough away not to hear. "What's up?" I asked.

Renesme blushed to the roots of her hair and I smiled. "Mom, geez, it doesn't help that you're finding this so damn funny."

"Sorry," I said, pressing my lips together again.

"Tell Dad … it was my idea, I pushed the issue, I practically attacked him. He tried ten different ways to stop me and put it off, but I got around him every time until he just broke down."

"Telling him that is not necessary."

"It's true though," she admitted, and blushed again. "This was the first time."

I smiled at her gently now. "It was good for you by the sounds of it." I said calmly.

She blushed again and looked down. "Fabulous, out of this world," she whispered. "Mind-blowing," she added.

I put my arm around her shoulder and hugged her to me. I'd always suspected Jacob would be a considerate lover. I'd never let my head really go there to consider it seriously, although I'd considered kissing him a couple of times in the past. And then the kiss before the Victoria fight told me everything I needed to know about what kind of lover Jacob would be; joyful, passionate, considerate, tender, wild, all at the same time. "I'm glad."

"Jacob would never hurt me," she said.

"He knows that. It just took him by surprise. No father wants to hear that."

She hung her head further. "I know, and I'm sorry. I thought I picked the perfect time. All the guys were gone. Even Leah went to Olympia, and you guys were hunting."

"It's okay, it'll be fine. Just give him a day to cool off. Today would not be a good day. And when you do talk to him, keep the details to a minimum. Less is more, you know what I'm saying?"

She grinned at me. "Yeah, just like with Grampa."

"Exactly," I said, slapping her high five.

She giggled. "We were safe, you know."

I scrunched my brow, not understanding. "What do you mean?"

"He used a condom," she said shyly.

"That's good. I'm glad to know you're being responsible. We don't have any idea if you two are compatible."

"I know, that's what he said."

I saw a shadow outside the kitchen window but ignored it. Jacob wasn't as far away as he'd let Renesme believe. Oh well, you know what they say about eavesdroppers? I could barely contain myself when I thought of the last time I'd said that, to Edward himself.

"Plenty of time to find that out. But please, I'm begging you, if you want to try that, please get married first. Your father will accept sex before marriage, but he'll blow a gasket if you get pregnant out of wedlock. That might cause his head to explode."

She laughed now, relaxing because I was being so easy about this and joking around. "Yeah, I don't want to test that hypothesis. I'll take your word for it."

We were silent a minute. "Was there something else?"

She pursed her lips. "Well, I was just wondering if … you know, if there was anything special I should do?"

"Special?"

"You know, to make it better for him," she said shyly.

I grinned. "From the sounds of things if it gets any better for him, it'll kill him." I saw the shadow flinch and stiffen.

"Mom!" she gasped and dropped her head in her hands.

I laughed. This was just too funny. Edward would die if he knew she asked me that question. "Well, let's see," I said, trying to take her question seriously. "Since I don't know what you did, it's hard to say. I can tell you this," I began.

She looked up, avidly interested now. "What?"

"The longer you can make it last, the better. You know what I mean?"

She just stared at me.

"Let's see if I can explain this." I thought how to explain. "If it seems like he's getting too … you know, excited?"

She nodded.

"Stop and be still for a few seconds till the urgency goes away and then start again. It makes it last longer. And the more times you can do that, bring him close and then back off, when it finally happens, it that much more powerful for the man."

She was nodding seriously. I wanted to smile, but I suppressed it, not wanting to embarrass her. I remembered how awkward and juvenile I'd felt the first time, and how nervous. I hadn't had anyone to ask.

"Then of course, foreplay is always nice." I was trying to keep a straight face.

"Like what?"

"The usual stuff, lots of kissing and touching him anywhere that seems to feel good to him. Ears and necks are usually sensitive but every guy is different. You'll have to explore."

She nodded sagely.

"Then, of course, there's always blowjobs," I said suddenly.

I saw the shadow jerk and stiffen outside the window.

She gasped, and then groaned. "Oh God, I can't believe you just said that!"

"We are talking about sex, right?" I stated, and then I chuckled. I just couldn't help it.

"I ... haven't done that. Just, you know, with my hand," she said.

"Do you know how to do it?"

"Sort of," she said shyly. "Not really, I mean part is kind of obvious."

"Well, start slow. How much detail do you want?" I asked, snickering internally at what would be going through Jacob's head right now.

"As much as you'll give me, I guess. I feel like such a jerk!"

"Don't be embarrassed. I wish I'd had someone to ask. Hmmm, let's see. Well, getting it wet is usually a good idea. You can … lick it all over or just let your saliva coat it, if you know what I mean?"

Se blushed but nodded, encouraging me to continue.

"Take your time, but you want to get as much of it in your mouth as you can." The shadow wheezed softly. Renesme's ears weren't quite as good as mine. His sounds were just below the pitch she could hear from this distance.

"I won't be able to get it all," she said quickly.

I raised my eyebrows. "How come?"

"He's … _huuggee._" The shadow groaned, but it was in embarrassment this time.

I barked out a huff of laughter. "Okay, well then, use your hand on the rest, the part you can't fit. And you can, you know, squeeze with the hand or twist around it."

"Then what?" she asked.

"Move up and down with your mouth, and …" I hesitated.

"And what?"

"Suck," I said plainly. "Work up to it, but then suck as hard as you can. And use your tongue on the end, they love that." I hesitated.

"What were you going to say?" she asked, picking up on my barely perceptible hesitation at the end.

"A detail is all."

"Tell me, I need all the help I can get."

"There's a spot that is particularly sensitive on most men," I explained.

"Where?" she asked, sounding eager. I suppressed an amused smile again. She was serious, and I knew it. She wanted to know these things. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable asking me these things.

"The … head, just below that on the side that faces out. That spot, just below the head is very sensitive. If you lick or rub there with your tongue or fingers, it will generally excite them very fast," I said quickly.

I heard a soft wheeze outside the window. I could hear his heart accelerate. It wasn't quite loud enough for Renesme to hear it. Her ears weren't quite as good as mine. She was blushing again. This had to be killing him to listen to her ask her innocent questions. That they were innocent and inquisitive would make them that much more arousing to him. I knew Jacob, and I knew her child-like innocence would draw him like a magnet. He loved to show, to teach.

"You're okay answering these questions?" she inquired.

"So far," I said. "Oh, one more thing, a detail. Watch your teeth, especially yours," I admonished. "I know Jacob can take a bite from you, but not there. That would cause him great pain. No teeth there under any circumstances. Remember that.

"I'll remember. It really doesn't bother you? That we are together now?" she inquired.

I shook my head. "No, it really doesn't. I thought it would, but I'm surprised. I'm just happy for you. Happy for Jacob. If anyone in the world deserves happiness, it's Jacob Black. In his lifetime, he sacrificed so much for all of us. He's a very … noble man, Renesme. You just don't know, little girl … the pain I caused him, time and time again. And I'm proud that you're the one to give him that happiness." I paused. "The happiness I was never able to give him. It's too much like justice that my own daughter finally made his life right, corrected all the pain and mistakes I made with him."

A tear formed in the corner of her eye and then she lurched toward me. I wrapped my arms around her as she hugged me back. "He's a gift from the Gods, Mamma," she whispered.

"I know, baby. I said the same thing once."

"You really admire him, don't you?"

"Absolutely. I could not have picked a better man for you myself. There are very few men in this world that I would consider good enough for you, Renesme."

"Who else is there?"

I chuckled. "You're related to the rest of the men good enough for you, so it's a moot point."

She laughed at that. She was quiet for a few seconds, and then asked, "Can I ask you one more thing?

"Of course, anything."

"And you'll be one hundred percent honest?"

"I will always be honest with you, Renesme."

"Do you love him?"

"Jacob? Of course, he's my best friend, always will be."

"No, that's not what I meant." I glanced at the window and saw the shadow straighten with tension.

"What do you mean then?"

"You sometimes speak of Jacob with such … reverence and awe."

I smiled. "Because he is worthy of reverence and awe, even if he is a pain in the ass, sometimes," I added, trying to lighten the mood again.

"Yes, so, I guess I'm wondering what that means. I mean, I know you love Daddy. But how much do you love Jacob?" she asked quietly, her voice quivering slightly.

I was stunned for a second that she had gone down this path. "Ah, is that what you're getting at?"

She frowned, nodding.

"You have nothing to worry about. Our past is complicated and very complex, like our friendship."

"That doesn't tell me much. I mean, Daddy told me some but he edits a lot."

I smiled. "He does tend to do that. You know what? I guess now would be a good time for this story. It's time for you to hear this story, in full."

"I need to know, Mom."

I smiled gently at her. "Do you want Jacob here for this?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Not yet. I want to have this discussion with you. This is about you."

"It's about you, actually, but I get your meaning. So, here goes." I organized my thoughts quickly, trying to decide where to start. She waited patiently. "Okay, Jacob and I became friends first when your father wasn't around. You know a bit about that, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, well, Jacob was the friend to me that I needed him to be then. He was there for me when my life fell apart when your father left. For that alone, I will always be grateful. But before I go any further, I want to say something else, just to get it out of the way."

"'What's that?"

"You have no reason to worry or ever be apprehensive about my relationship with Jake. Yes, I love Jacob, like you love a beloved family member, or a brother, but I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with only one man, your father. There is no need for you to ever worry that our past will haunt you. Everything changed the day you were born, and not just for Jake, but for me too."

"I don't understand."

"Well, I just wanted that out front, we'll get back to why it's that way, okay?"

"Okay."

"So, Jacob took care of me, protected me and was the friend I needed and we grew very close. At the time, I didn't think your father would ever return, but I knew that I loved him passionately and no one could ever take his place. But Jacob was my reason to get out of bed in the morning, he was the man that allowed me to be broken and learn to function. He was very patient with me and I loved him for it. Over time, things got tense, because we were drawn together, but both knew that Edward was between us. I don't want to go into detail here, suffice it to say, that over time, your father returned, and we had some bad times, but we managed to stay friends, although our lives were fairly separate. We both always felt though, that there was a reason for us to be in each other's lives. It's hard to explain."

"Please try," she said quietly.

"The day you were born changed everything. That day, I became a vampire, a creature literally incapable of loving a werewolf the way you love him, or the way I love your father. And Jake realized that his pull for me had always been because of you. At first, it was because we both felt that it was destiny, fate, or whatever that we be a part of each other's lives somehow. We made mistakes and wrong assumptions along the way. But we both knew bone-deep in our souls that there was a connection between us, one that could not be broken, not by time or distance, or your father, or anyone. We just didn't know why. It was very confusing."

Better get to the good part, I thought. She was frowning again. "And then I got pregnant with you. Jake didn't even know I was pregnant. He thought I was sick, or that I was going through transformation. But he felt an irresistible pull towards me. He had to know, and it was so strong that he crossed a very dangerous line and came to Cullen territory uninvited to see me. They could have killed him on sight, but he came anyway."

She was now staring at me with rapt attention.

"And once he saw that I was pregnant, it was as bad, even worse than it had ever been. He literally could not stay away. He ended up breaking away from the pack over it because they feared you and what you would become. But that's another story. That wasn't the first or the last in a long line of sacrifices Jacob made for me. I was so happy that he'd come. I felt my family was complete. I was so unreasonably happy to have him there, even though I knew I was causing him horrible pain. I couldn't send him away, and he couldn't leave. It made no sense. The certainty that he was meant to be a part of my life, that we were connected, was so certain. Neither of us understood, because even then, I was so in love with your father it was beyond all bounds of sanity. On the other hand, I was in love with Jacob also, I just didn't know why. Your father wouldn't ask him to leave because he knew it would upset me, but your father hated that he was there, that I couldn't let go of him."

She smiled quickly at my last statement. "But why was he supposed to be in your life? What happened?"

"We finally figured it out. You were born – and the world tilted on its axis."

"Meaning?"

I touched her nose. "You became the most important person in the world to all three of us. And then we knew."

"I'm missing something. You skipped a lot here."

"The whole story with all the details might take days, and we don't have that kind of time, Nessie. But we realized after a few stubborn, idiotic reactions on my part, that you were Jake's destiny. I was Jake's destiny because I was fated to create you for him. And you pulled him to you _even from the womb._ He could not leave you, and you weren't even born yet! But he hadn't imprinted yet, so he didn't know and neither did I. He couldn't imprint until he _saw_ you, so he thought the pull was to me, but it wasn't, it was to you all along. Later he told me that as soon as he wasn't needed when Edward was transforming me – well he thought I was dead actually, he actually felt his compulsion to be with me disappear and pull him right down the damn stairs and into your face. And the rest, as they say, is history."

"You attacked him," she remembered.

"Yes, I was a newborn and my emotions were wild! You have no idea. I was so jealous for a moment, because I had only just then saw you and gotten to hold you and they didn't trust me to even hold you for long, and then you were being ripped away from me already. And all I could think was Jacob was trying to pull you away from me and I wanted to know you so bad. I'd only gotten to hold you once and he was already acting all possessive. He'd had your company for three straight days. It was stupid. I can't tell you exactly what went through my head, but that's the gist of it. I got over it quick. I'm just glad I didn't hurt Seth worse than I did."

"You didn't accept it right away," she reminded me.

"No, I needed to have time with you, to see you two together, to understand the imprinting thing some more. He didn't view you as a love interest then, he just wanted you to be happy. I'm standing there like an idiot, thinking he's gonna be waiting around for years, impatient for you to grow up so he can cart you off and have his way with you."

She giggled then but then became very quiet.

"My compulsion for Jacob to be near was also gone, and that was a relief. But he was still my friend, still my Jacob. And that was a relief too. He accepted what I had become just like I had accepted it when he became a werewolf. All the pain and confusion was gone. Anything else?" I asked, seeing there was something else.

"I don't know how to ask. I need to know, Mom. I can't ask Daddy." She hesitated. "And I can't bring myself to ask, Jacob."

"What is it?" I asked, seeing that she was really concerned. Whatever this was, it was very serious to her.

She swallowed. "Please don't be angry with me."

"I won't be," I said tentatively. She had me worried now. "Just spit it out, Renesme. What do you want to know?"

She turned and stared me in the eyes. "I _have_ to know," she said fervently. "You _were_ in love with him at one time." She hesitated for a second. "Did you ever have sex with Jacob?" she blurted out.

I gasped so loud I startled myself. That was not what I expected her ask. "NO!" I practically shouted.

"Oh, thank God," she muttered, looking at her lap.

I glanced at the window, hearing something hit the dirt across the street. The shadow was gone. Renesme's head shot up and looked in the direction I did. Jacob was gone, I knew that. He was long gone into the woods. "Who was that?"

I got up slowly and went to the window. "I don't know, I think the door just closed over at Quil's place," I said.

"Oh," she sighed in relief.

Guess I wouldn't be telling her that Jacob had heard the entire conversation. He'd have to deal with this himself. I returned to the couch and sat down, taking her hands in mine. "You okay?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I asked. I hope I didn't upset you but I had to know."

I swallowed. "You just took my by surprise, that's all. I can't even believe you were thinking that, worrying about that. No, never. I loved your father, always loved him, before I even knew I loved Jacob. Nothing ever changed that. Whether he was here or not, I knew that I would never betray that love." She didn't need to know I'd considered it.

She swallowed. "Did you ever do … anything?" she asked tentatively.

I sighed. "Other than hugging, and chaste kisses of friendship - we kissed, just once. That was all, ever. And the next day, I told him that I was to be with Edward forever. He knew we were going to be married by then, and I was sorry, and I said good-bye. I never saw him again until the day of my wedding, and then not again until he showed up to find me pregnant after returning from my honeymoon."

She sighed, looking very relieved. "Okay, thank you for telling me. I'm relieved."

I pulled her into my arms. "I love you so much I think my chest will burst wide open with it, Renesme. I just want you to be happy. You and Jake love each other. You were made for each other, destined since before you were born to be together. You are a miracle to us. Plus, you made sense of my fate with Jacob, and I can never thank you enough for resolving that mystery for me. Be happy, that's all I want."

She squeezed me tightly. "I better find Jacob."

"I'll holler for him as I go, let him know we're done."

"Okay, I love you, Mom."

"I love you too, and so does your father. He just wants you to be happy too. He'll come around, he'll be fine, he just needs to rearrange his reality."

She chuckled. "I'll come see him tomorrow."

"Call first," I said.

"I will."

"Any other questions?"

"Not for now, maybe later."

"You come ask me anything you want, any time you want. Just make sure you're father isn't within hearing distance okay? I might not have the rest of the family there to help me restrain him next time."

She giggled. "Okay, promise. I'll come see him tomorrow. I'll call first, make sure it's a good time."

"Sounds like a plan to me. I better get going before he comes looking for me."

"Bye, Mom, and thanks."

"You're welcome, sweetie." I stood and patted her on the head. "Be happy, baby."

"I am."

"That's all I want." I strode to the door and flung it open, peering around the corner as I bounded off the front porch.

Jacob looked up startled, and guiltily. "Oh Bella, sorry," he said quickly, looking down. He was back.

I grinned. "You know what they say about eavesdroppers," I whispered.

His skin flushed darker and his teeth snapped together. He looked over my head but finally met my eyes. "Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you guys weren't fighting or anything, or warning her about Edward, or …" he broke off.

"It's all right. Just mother/daughter talk."

"Huh, yeah," he huffed out. "'Cept there at the end."

"Yeah, she shocked me with that one."

"Me too, lost it for a second, sorry."

"It's okay. I think I put her mind to rest. I did tell her we kissed once, just so you know. But said I told you the next day about the wedding, Edward forever, etcetera and said goodbye and then saw you at the wedding and then not again until you came while I was pregnant. Told her I'd send you back in on my way out."

"Yeah, I got it."

I couldn't resist. "So …," my tone light.

"So what?"

"It's huge, is it?" I blurted out.

He coughed into his hand. "Bella! Jesus Christ!"

I busted out laughing as I walked away. I waved over my shoulder. "Don't hurt her with it. Later, Jake!"

"Yeah, uh, bye," he choked out.

I chortled all the way home. I had to warn Edward that his baby girl was going to talk to him tomorrow. I wanted to make sure I was there when she did.


	7. Chapter 7 - Revelations

TITLE: Revelation

SUMMARY: Edward comes to terms with Renesme's relationship with Jacob and Charlie learns more than he should. (Sequel to Renesme's Leap)

RATING: PG-13

DISCLAIMER: All characters and phrases borrowed from the Twilight Saga books, Midnight Sun draft and movies are the property of Stephanie Meyer and Summit Entertainment. No copyright infringement intended. This is all just for fun.

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Cullen Cottage

The Day After Consummation

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Renesme looked at me. "Let me talk to him first, Jacob."

"Not sure that's a good idea."

"Yes, it is. Trust me."

I was leaning against a tree some hundred yards away from the front door. "Okay."

Even on her tip-toes she couldn't reach my face. I chuckled and bent down before she could do what she usually did and leap into my arms. That wouldn't be the best idea right now. I kissed her gently and stood back up. She pouted. "Jaakee!" she whined.

"Renesme, you have to learn that there is a place and time for everything. Although you have the ability to get whatever you want, whenever you want it; that is not the responsible thing to do. You have to learn some restraint."

"I'm tired of restraint," she pouted.

"I can see that. However, if you want your parents to treat you like an adult, then you're going to have to act like one. That means being responsible."

She sighed.

"It also means that you have to consider other people's feelings, Ness."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, sounding irritated.

"It means that while we have one opinion on this subject, you're father has another. Whether we agree with him or not, we have to respect his feelings. This is hard for him, Renesme."

"I don't understand why," she said, defeated.

"Exactly. Because he's is nearly 120 years old, and you are almost, geez, oh that's right, _ten_."

Her eyes sparked with indignation. "You know that's not a fair comparison."

"No, it's not, but it's still true. And while your intellect is vastly superior to the average human, you don't have life experience, Ness. That's just a fact. Life experience changes people, it makes and molds them into who they are. Because of your unique ability, no one keeps you out, and no one can resist you for long, and so you get most everything you want. It's not like that for most people."

"What does that have to do with this situation?"

I knew Edward and Bella were inside the cottage. I also knew that they could probably hear every word we were speaking right now. I had to be careful. On the other hand, Renesme needed to know some things about her folks. I drifted over to a fallen tree and sat down, patting the log beside me. "Come here and sit. I want to tell you story."

She rolled her eyes, but did as I requested. "Okay, hit me," she said with just a slight tone of belligerence. I chuckled, and leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek. She smiled despite her attempt not to.

"There was a time when your father and I were mortal enemies."

"I know this story, Jacob," she said, bored.

"Not all of it, be patient." I waited till she nodded at me. "Things are obviously different now, but we had more of a problem than just the fact that we were mortal enemies, a bigger issue than the fact that werewolves and vampires were born to despise each other."

"What could more of a problem than that?"

"We both loved your mother," I reminded her.

She scowled. One thing she didn't like to be reminded of was my relationship with Bella. "But that's not true anymore, is it?" she asked, sounding suddenly insecure, even after Bella had told her the story. I couldn't understand how she could still have any doubts.

"Not the way you mean, no. I love your mother, I always will. She will always be … special to me, my best friend. But at the time," I hesitated. "I loved her almost the way I love you. I didn't think anything would ever change that. The way I looked at it, your father was going to kill her."

"How could you have thought that?"

I shook my head. "I know this is hard for you to understand because we all get along so well now, but I hated your father, hated him like I'd never hated anyone in the entire world. And Ness, he hated me too. He hated me because I was trying to keep him from his life with your mother. In his mind, I was trying to steal her away from him, and at the time, that was still a very real possibility. I didn't respect or understand the Cullens. I just hated all vampires with a ferocity that was bone deep, bred into me. Neither of us fought fair, and we caused your mother a lot more heartache than was necessary, but that's the reality of it. I was his rival, his competition. He loves your mother like … I'm not sure there has ever been a love in the history of world that's conquered the things your parents have." I chuckled in reluctant admiration.

She was contemplating my words now, a serious look on her face. "So where are you going with this?"

"Well, think about it now. What's the most important thing in the world to your father?"

"My mother," she said without hesitation.

I smiled. "Okay, maybe it's a tie. What's the second most important thing in the world to your father?" She didn't answer so I put my finger on the tip of her nose. "You."

"I know that, but what? I'm not allowed to have a life, to have a mate or grow up? That's not fair, Jacob."

"It's not that, Renesme. You are precious to him. You are something that he thought he would never have, a child, a being of his own flesh and blood, conceived in love, that is part him and part Bella. You are a miracle, Renesme. Just like your mother, he won't risk any harm coming to you."

"He knows you would never hurt me."

I shook my head. "You're not getting it," I said in frustration.

"Well, then try to explain it to me."

"Once again, Renesme, I am trying to take something precious away from your father," I whispered.

"You're not taking me away from him!" she nearly shouted.

"It will seem that way to him, Ness," I said quietly.

She was shaking her head. "No, that's ridiculous."

"Is it? Think about it. He's had a short nine years or so with you. To your father, that's nothing, that's a blip on the radar screen of time. Already, you're itching to run away from him and start your own life. And horrors!" I said in mock fright. "You want that life with his old rival. Once again, Jacob Black is in the way of your father having everything he wants."

She hung her head. "I guess I never thought about it that way," she conceded. "This doesn't change anything though."

"No, but I want you to understand how hard it is for Edward to turn over the safety of the precious things in his life to someone else, Renesme. It's not so much that he doesn't trust me. Deep down, he knows that I love you, that no one will ever love you as much and as well as I do. He understands imprinting better than any non-werewolf on the planet. That doesn't erase the fact that he will feel like he's losing something, and more than that, that he has to let go. Let go of the responsibility for your future and your happiness. That's not an easy thing to do, Ness. He has spent the better part of his existence since he met your mother fighting fiercely, harder than any man should ever have to fight, to save the things he loves."

"You're not even angry with him, are you?" she asked, surprised. "You're not upset that he had that awful reaction?"

I smiled. "No, I'm not upset. I wasn't upset yesterday. I didn't expect it because I thought he was gone, I'd seen the cottage was empty when I met you in the field. But it didn't surprise me, and I understood it."

I saw the curtain on the cottage window twitch and Bella was staring out. She winked at me. I smiled up at her. Renesme followed my gaze. "So what is the moral of the story?"

I smiled gently at her, and took her face in my hands. "Don't be angry with your father. Try to be understanding of him. Don't be a brat! He loves you more than his own life, Renesme. Don't make him feel like he's losing you. He won't be able to stand it." I hesitated. "Any more than I could. We have to share," I reminded her. "This isn't an all or nothing proposition. Me or him. I never want us to be in that position again, do you understand?"

She nodded.

"So please," I said fervently. "Don't make me your father's rival again. Please! Because I will fight for you, I won't be able to help myself. You know that. I DON'T want to fight with your father. I don't know if either one of us is sure who would come out on top in that situation. But worse than that, everybody would lose. There would be no winners."

She was looking at me gravely. "This is more serious than I thought, isn't it?"

"Much more serious than you thought. Until now, you were like a baby to me at first, then a beloved child, then a best friend. But now you are a woman, and I see a woman when I look at you. That wasn't the case before. You're father knows it. He sees the change. He knows that I just wanted you to be happy before, no matter what. That I became whatever you needed me to be. That was fine when I was a surrogate parent when you were a baby, a babysitter when you were toddler, and friend when you were an adolescent, a mentor and friend when you were a young adult. But this is the final stage, Renesme. This is where I become the one thing he has a problem with. I become your mate, your lover, because that is what you need me to be now.

"Problem is that the outcome is in your hands, Renesme. You have the potential to make this okay, or make this a disaster. I don't think you realize …" I trailed off. "So I needed to make you understand what's at stake here. Your father and I are civilized, but neither of us is entirely human either. We have instincts that can't be denied if the right triggers are set off. The most potent of those instincts is to protect what's ours. And when it comes to a mate, a werewolf's mate … if she is threatened …" I trailed off.

"What?" she asked softly.

"If someone threatens your life, or tries to take you away from me …" I hesitated again, not wanting to tell her this but figuring I had to.

"What? Tell me," she insisted.

"If someone tried to hurt you or take you away from me, I will fight them."

"I know you'd fight for me," she stated.

I shook my head. "No Renesme, you don't understand."

"Then get to the point!" she hissed. I glanced at the cottage, both Edward and Bella were now watching and listening. I knew they could hear us.

I nodded and looked deeply into her eyes. "You're my mate. I'm a wolf. You are the object of my imprinting. We mate for life, Renesme. If someone were to harm or kill you, I would fight that person … _to the death_. I won't have a choice."

"What?" she wailed. She blanched. "But my father wouldn't harm me or kill me."

"No, but it's only _slightly_ less severe if they try to take you away from me," I said gruffly.

Her mouth hung open. She had been told stories of imprinting, she understood it in an abstract way. She'd seen Quil with Claire and she knew how I felt about her. However, she'd been protected from the less civilized instincts of werewolves. We'd had mostly peace since she'd grown older. The huge dangers like the Volturi were in our past and she hadn't been my mate in the real sense then. She'd still been a child.

"What am I supposed to do with that?" she asked.

I smiled. "Be very careful when you talk to your father," I said simply.

She huffed out a bark of laughter and I chuckled with her. She threw her arms around my neck and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I couldn't help glancing at the window, but neither of them winced. Edward didn't look upset at this display of affection at least. "I love you, Jacob. I may not fully understand, but I do get what you're saying."

"Good, now let's go talk to your folks, and please, keep the details to yourself. You're not as good as I am about shielding your thoughts," I reminded her. "Please, for my sake, do not think about it, what we did, when we are near your father. Not unless you want him to have a heart attack in that cold, dead heart of his, and then rip my head off. Concentrate on what our relationship means to you."

She laughed then and released me and stood up. I glanced and saw Bella chuckling and Edward scowling. I took her hand and led her to the door. Of course, it opened before we got there. Edward waved us in. His face was composed but careful. I knew he was contemplating all the things that I had said to Renesme.

"Can I get you something, Jacob?" Bella asked.

"Got any iced tea?" I asked. I knew she kept that powdered ice-tea here for guests. She knew I liked it and it was easy to store and you could make it by the glass so it didn't go to waste.

"Sure."

"Me too," Renesme said. Bella nodded and exited to the small galley kitchen in the back.

Edward sat on the couch and I nodded to Renesme that she should do the same. I took one of the wing chairs opposite the couch so I could face them both. Bella returned with the iced tea and handed us each a glass. I took a long swallow and sighed.

Bella sat in a damask chair next to mine and crossed her legs. There was an uncomfortable silence while we all regarded one another. I decided I would have to be the one to get the ball rolling.

"Edward," I began.

He stared at me. "Jacob."

Bella smiled and Renesme rolled her eyes. "This is ridiculous."

I scowled at her. "Don't start," I reprimanded her.

Edward's lips actually twitched. I think he was amused that I was one of the few people that could reprimand Renesme or deny her anything. He might have even been grateful for it before this.

"Edward, I'm sorry," I said.

"No you're not," he countered.

I smiled. "I'm sorry you heard that," I amended, being very careful not to think about it. "You weren't home and we didn't expect you be home."

He nodded.

Renesme sighed. "Look, daddy?" He turned to her. "I know it's difficult for you, but I need you to know some things, okay?"

He nodded stiffly. She reached for him tentatively, but then dropped her hand, deciding words might be better than pictures in this case. He arched a brow, waiting patiently. "Tell me what you need to, Renesme."

"Not that you need me to say it, but you know that I'm totally in love with Jacob."

He nodded. "Seems my fate is to have all the women in my life love Jacob Black," he said sourly.

Bella grinned. Renesme scowled. "That's in the past, Daddy, and you need to get over it and move on."

He arched a brow again. "Oh, I do, do I?" He was slightly amused at his daughter telling him what he had to do.

She began to pour out words, babbling, clearly nervous but determined to get it all out. "Yes. Here's the reality of it. I'm in love with Jacob, he's in love with me, and I'm an adult now, and our relationship is going to progress to the next level. It was inevitable. You can't say that you didn't expect this at some point. I'm sorry if it happened sooner than you expected, but honestly, I've been a full grown woman for over a year now and it would have happened a lot sooner if I'd had my way. This was my idea all the way. I tried to talk him into it a long time ago, and he kept putting me off."

Edward snorted. She stopped talking abruptly and turned to him with a look of anger on her face. "Renesme," I warned in a low voice.

She slapped her hand up to his cheek. He wasn't startled, he saw it coming. He closed his eyes and I tensed. I had no idea what she was showing him, but I hoped to hell it wasn't what we'd done yesterday. But since he wasn't leaping off the couch, I had to assume that it wasn't terrible.

His face was tense with a scowl, but then it slowly smoothed and looked slightly confused. Then his lips actually twitched as though he wanted to smile. She finally took her hand away after several extremely worrisome minutes on my part.

"What did you just show him, young lady?" I asked sternly.

Bella chuckled. "You sound more like her father than Edward does sometimes." Edward scowled and I smiled.

"What did you show him, Ness?" I demanded.

Edward answered. "She showed me every time in the last year and a half that you've avoided her advances, turned away when she tried to kiss you or touch you," he hesitated. "Or tried to undress you," he snarled. "And all the arguments you've given her for waiting to … consummate your relationship," he finally said. "And finally, she showed me," he began, and then swallowed hard.

I waited. Bella raised her eyebrow. "What?"

So softly I could barely hear him, he said, "A box of condoms."

"Ness!" I barked.

Renesme had been silent this whole time. "I was only trying to point out that even after all that, in the end, you insisted on … safe sex," she imperiously.

Edward made an odd choking sound in the back of his throat just hearing her use that word. I saw a look of near horror cross Edward's face for a second, and suddenly Bella was on her feet. She kneeled in front of the couch, staring at Renesme, and Edward slumped against the couch.

I rose slowly, wondering what happened. "What?" I asked.

Bella whispered in an aside to me that everyone could hear anyway. "I just shielded Renesme," she stated.

"Sorry," she said in a chagrined voice.

Then I got it. She'd been about to think about something that Edward didn't need to see. He'd caught of glimpse of something and that explained the look of horror on his face. I'd bet it was the way she put the condom on me. I bit back a groan, and made myself think of just looking at her in the field yesterday with her hair blowing in the breeze.

Bella, being quick as she was and able to read Edward and Renesme like a book, had taken immediate evasive action. She was shielding Renesme's thoughts so that Edward wouldn't see them. "Tell me when you're in control," Bella said to Renesme.

She took a deep breath, and nodded.

Bella retreated and I assumed she had removed the shield that was invisible to the naked eye, and retreated to her chair.

"Sorry, daddy," Renesme said, looking extremely guilty.

He nodded. "This is going to be hell," he growled.

I met his gaze. "I'm sorry for that. Truly. No father needs to see or hear that, and your abilities make it worse. But I can't do anything about that." I paused, leaning forward in my chair. "Edward, you know, right? You know that I would never hurt her? That I would _die_ first before I saw her hurt in any way? You have to believe that." My voice shook with the force of my emotion and sincerity.

He nodded. "I know, it's just hard to let go," he admitted.

I stared at him until he met my gaze again. "I won't take her away from you, Edward."

"What do you mean?" Renesme asked. "Stop talking like I'm not in the room," she spit out, clearly peeved.

Edward just waited.

"What I mean is that I will never take her away from here. She will always be within your reach. You can see her, talk to her, visit her, love her, anytime you want. I would never restrict your access to her, you know that too, right?"

He nodded.

"And I will protect her with my life. She is just as precious to me as she is to you," I said emphatically. I waited a few seconds. "I want to talk to you privately," I said suddenly, making a decision.

He looked slightly startled and wary.

"Jacob?" Renesme inquired.

Bella looked between us. "I don't have to call Jasper and Emmett, do I?"

I shook my head. "No, I just need to speak with Edward, man to man. Can you ladies excuse us?"

They rose slowly and reluctantly. "No fighting," Bella admonished. "Do not make me come back in here and kick your asses," she warned.

We both smiled. Something we had in common was utter amusement when Bella made threats of bodily harm. But then they exited the front door and I heard them take off into the forest.

"What do you want?" Edward said, losing the civility in his voice that I'm sure was for the benefit of the ladies.

He got up and began pacing in front of the couch. I stayed seated. "I want to ask you for something."

"I don't owe you anything anymore, dog," he said, reverting to the old acceptable insults we used to sling at one another. We hadn't done that in a long time and it confirmed for me that he was still more upset than he was letting on to the girls. I refused to stoop to that level and call him a bloodsucker. I knew he was just upset. Besides, my girl was a bloodsucker now too, so I'd gotten over that a long time ago.

"I know that. You do believe what I said though, don't you? You don't have any doubts about my convictions, sincerity or my ability to take care of her, do you?"

"No," he admitted grudgingly.

"I'm truly sorry you had to find out that way. I wanted to do this first, but it simply didn't work out that way."

"Do what?"

"Well, since it has progressed to this point," I began. I clamped down quickly on any thought of 'this point'.

"Yes?" he inquired.

"You remember when you asked me to approve Bella's turning, as an exception to the treaty?"

He twitched, not having expected that. "Yes."

"I thought I had nothing left to give, but you said I did, one more thing, and only I could give it."

"Yes," he said, sounding wary now.

"Well, there is something else you have to give, and only you can give it."

"What?" he asked, curious now, in spite of himself. He was pacing again.

"I fully intend to make an honest woman of her, Edward, to use the vernacular of your time," I said slowly.

He stopped pacing and looked directly at me, waiting.

"I planned to do it anyway, but if I'm honest, I didn't plan on it this soon, but given the circumstances, I don't see any reason to wait. I want to ask for her hand, Edward."

I knew this something that would be important to him. He was extremely old-fashioned in some ways, and although he was so old, some things from his human existence and time had not faded in his mind in value and importance. He valued tradition, he valued respect. I was hoping to gain brownie points for asking him before I asked Renesme even though I knew what her answer would be.

He seemed stunned for all of two seconds. "Really?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"Not that you would ask her, but you haven't asked her yet?"

"No, I wanted to ask you first. I want your permission to ask your daughter to be my wife, Edward. I want your blessing. I don't need it, it's true. But I want it, and it will make Renesme happy to know she has your blessing. Just like you would have saved Bella anyway, regardless, I am going to propose. But she loves you dearly, Edward. While she doesn't understand everything that's between us," I broke off.

He nodded for me to continue.

"Your regard and approval is very important to her. She's more worried about you being disappointed in her, than she is about your reaction to what we did," I said. "She lives in fear of letting you down."

"Seriously?"

I nodded. "She is an adult, Edward, and she's so smart and intelligent that it's easy to forget that she doesn't have the life experience we have. She still seeks your approval, still feels 'different', and she worries about Bella's opinion too, but more about yours. She is still a child in some ways that desperately wants the approval of her parent. She can be very 'child-like' in her assessment of certain things."

"I know," he said, smiling, sharing a rare moment of agreement and understanding with me.

"She is ten times smarter than me, but I have something she doesn't."

"What's that?" he asked wryly.

"Common sense and life experience," I said simply.

He laughed then, and we both chuckled. "I can't disagree," he admitted.

I stood up and we stared at each other, a mere six feet between us. "So … may I have your permission to ask your daughter to marry me? Do I have your blessing as her father to be your daughter's husband?"

He only hesitated for a couple seconds, and then stuck out his stone hand. "Yes, you have my blessing," he said formally.

I grasped his hand and we shook once, hard. "Thank you," I said sincerely. He dropped my hand. "Edward."

"Yes?"

"Your … acceptance means a great deal to me also. I just want you to know that."

He nodded. "Like Bella, Renesme takes some looking after. As much as I hate to admit it, she could do a lot worse than you."

"There's a ringing endorsement," I said wryly.

He smiled. "I approve, Jacob. I … trust you. I'm sorry I called you a dog," he added quickly.

"Don't worry about it, bloodsucker," I said now, in a teasing tone.

His lips twitched. "It's just so hard to see her as anything other than my little girl."

"I know. I don't begrudge you that. I really do understand how hard this is for you. I want you to know that. You also know that it's literally _impossible_ for me to stay away from her. I don't ever mean to cause you grief or upset you but …"

"But what?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked him straight in the eye. "I love her so much it hurts, Edward. She's everything to me. Everything. I would never harm her. I really did fight to put this off as long as possible, but you know how hard she is to resist. Until yesterday, it was just a battle of wills."

"What changed?"

"After begging me as usual, she said she … _needed me_ to be her mate now. That it was becoming_ painful_ not to be with me." I avoided the word lover. He would realize the significance. I became what she needed me to be. I had no choice. If Renesme needed something, I literally couldn't refuse unless it would endanger her life. He knew this odd quirk about imprinting.

He nodded.

"Remember what you promised me in that note you sent with your wedding invitation?" I asked. I knew he did, he had a photographic and eidetic memory.

"Of course, that I would take care of her and I thanked you for her and for everything."

I nodded. "I promise I will take care of her, Edward. Thank you - for her, for everything," I threw his words back at him. "I won't let you down."

"I know you won't, Jacob. I'll try to … be tolerant."

"And I'll try to be … quiet," I said, finally.

We both busted out laughing then. "Please, if you value my sanity at all," he wheezed out.

"On that note," I said.

He was still suppressing his laughter, when the girls came back in the front door. They relaxed seeing us both smiling and Edward chuckling.

"Time to go home, Ness," I said.

"Okay," she said, looking slightly bewildered.

Edward looked up suddenly, "Hey, Jacob, do you have … what you need?"

I felt my eyebrows scrunch in question and then I realized what he meant. _Do I have a ring?_ My face cleared.

He nodded to my internal question. "Yes, I do."

He nodded. "Let me know if you need anything in that regard."

It was an offer of money or jewels, or whatever I might need to take care of her properly. "I'm good, thanks."

He nodded and we left. I heard Bella ask, "What was that all about?"

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

La Push Village

Jacob Black's Home

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

Edward might be surprised to find out that the Quiluete tribe was not as poor as they appeared. We lived simply because we wanted to, not because we had too. The casino helped with revenue, but we were well off before that. Long ago, we had claimed and owned the rights to both a diamond and an emerald mine. My great-grandfather, Ephraim had handfuls of uncut precious gems in a safe that my father kept. The mines had gone sallow many years before. But there were still lots of gems in La Push. It was kind of funny. Millions of dollars in uncut jewels, and my father kept it in a safe he bought at Home Depot like they were costume jewelry.

He'd given me permission to take whatever I wanted. I'd taken one of the largest diamonds, 5 carats, along with 7 smaller ones and brought them to a jeweler who had serviced the tribe for years. He was located in Tacoma. I'd designed the ring myself. I'd needed the expertise of Etienne. He was known for his artistic cutting of precious stones into unusual and tasteful shapes. I'd described to him what I wanted. He was dubious at first, but then was eager to take on the challenge. I promised him that I wouldn't be upset if he was unable to accomplish it. He asked me one favor. If he was able to do it, could he then use pictures of the ring as an advertisement for his business? I'd readily agreed. In exchange for this he was giving me a huge break on the price of the work and the platinum band that was to be used to mount it on.

I'd also brought 10 small emeralds with me and asked that they be cut and divided up to be put in the platinum wedding bands for each of us. It had taken weeks but I was extremely happy with the results. The rings had been burning a hole in my pocket, figuratively for months. I'd figured it would be months, if not another year before I would need them. Now the time was at hand and I was actually nervous.

I felt good about my talk with Edward, brief as it had been. Relief was coursing through me that he had accepted this. I knew he didn't really have a choice, and he knew that too, but Edward was unpredictable in a lot of ways. The wrong words said could have set him off, even after all this time. Letting him hear our first foray into the world of intimate sexual relations was the faux paux of the century.

I should have made sure there was no one around for miles, but she'd taken me so by surprise. I mean I knew she wanted to have sex. I'd known that for nearly a year. I'd also known she wasn't ready in the beginning. I'd sensed the change when her intentions became more resolute, but I still thought I could delay things. It wasn't that I didn't want her. I wanted her so bad, it hurt, but I wanted to do this right. I wanted this relationship to be as perfect as it could be. I didn't want to rush. We were both going to live a long time, there was no rush. But when she said she needed me to be her lover, it was all over. My will crumbled like powder in the wind. And I knew that the longer I could put it off, the happier Edward would be, and that was always a good thing. I didn't really fear him, but life was just so much more pleasant when he was getting his way.

While neither of us had a choice, the formality of the words, and my bothering to ask him had made an impression, I was sure of it. He respected me for it. Those types of gestures went a long way with Edward.

I smiled as a thought occurred to me. I'd actually become quite chummy with Alice Cullen. She was my favorite in that whole family after Bella of course. She was easy to be around and always so chipper. I also remembered her finesse with parties including Bella's graduation party and Bella's wedding, and all of Renesme's birthday parties. Bella had bemoaned her enthusiasm on many occasions. I'd bet she would approve if that enthusiasm was put toward Renesme though. I'd have to talk to her as soon as I could so she could start planning.

While I was content to have something small and intimate, I knew that would never satisfy the rest of the Cullens. They adored Renesme also. They would want all the fanfare and spectacle that they could drum up. I wanted that for her also, she deserved it for bringing so much happiness to this whole family. We'd have to invite the Amazons, they'd never forgive us if we didn't. I was getting way ahead of myself.

Here I was assuming she would say yes. While I was fairly confident of the outcome, it was possible that although she was gung-ho to make the beast with two backs, she might not be ready to be a wife. That thought sobered me, but not for long. She would marry me. If not now then eventually. I believed that with all my heart.

We made it home, and I grabbed two steaks and put mine in the oven to broil with a foil wrapped potato, and left hers sitting in a frying pan. When mine was almost done, I would sear hers in the pan.

I wrinkled my nose. It was dripping with blood. And while animal blood didn't repulse me, I was a wolf after all, when I was human I liked my red meat cooked.

I headed for the bedroom. "Where are you going?"

"Have a seat on the couch, I'll be right out," I informed her. "We'll watch some TV while my steak cooks."

She nodded and retreated to the living room. I went to the bedside stand and knelt down, opening the draw near the bottom, and reached into the back, extracting the small, black, velvet box. I opened it, staring at the thick platinum band. Atop it, raised and surrounded by white gold filigree was a wolf, shaped from yellow diamonds, with a small amber chip for the eye. Etienne had done a stunning job. The wolf fit within the width of the band so it didn't stick out over either side. It was exquisite in my opinion. I just hoped Renesme would like it and not think it was corny. I snapped the box shut.

"What's taking so long?" she hollered from the living room.

Oh nothing. Just working up the nerve to propose, I thought to myself wryly. I stood and walked out to the living room, the ring box completely obscured in my large fist.

She looked up at the serious expression on my face. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, but I need to ask you something."

She looked worried. "Does this have to do with my father?"

"Not really, no. Would you stand up?"

She looked perplexed but did as I asked. "What is it, Jacob?"

I swallowed hard, and reached for her hand with my free one, and then I sank down on one knee. Her eyes were wide as saucers. I flicked the top up on ring box with my thumb and held it out on the palm of my hand. She gasped.

"Renesme Cullen, I love you so much. I will love you forever. Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?"

Tears actually formed in the corners of her eyes, something that only happened when she was experiencing a very strong emotion. I started to get nervous when she didn't say anything and her mouth simply opened and closed several times. "Ness?" I could hear the wobble in my voice, the fear.

"Yes!" she hissed. "Yes, oh Jacob, my love, yes!" she finally blurted out.

I smiled so hard my cheeks hurt. I stood up and plucked the ring from the box, letting it fall to the floor. I took her left hand, and slowly slid the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly. I'd taken another ring I'd seen her wear on her ring finger and used it for the size.

She gasped. "It's so beautiful. Oh my God, Jacob, how did you manage this?"

"You like it?" I asked.

"I love it! It's absolutely perfect. I've never seen anything like it. Are these?" she asked, stroking the body of the wolf.

"Yellow diamonds, not as pretty maybe as regular ones, but …"

"Perfect," she whispered. Then she leaped, launching herself into my arms, wrapping her arms around my neck, and her legs around my waist.

I kissed her, letting my tongue slide into her mouth. Jesus, I could do this now. I could touch any way I damn well pleased. The knowledge sang through my veins. I wanted her with ferocity that was slightly scary. "Bedroom," she hissed.

I shook my head. "No."

"What now?" she asked.

"Your parents are home," I reminded her.

She smirked. "Don't think you can be quiet enough?"

"I'm not sure. You excite me beyond reason. I lose my head a little."

She laughed heartily. It sounded like clear ringing bells. "I lose mine too. God, I love you so much Jacob. You really want to marry me?"

"Of course, you silly goose."

"This isn't just because of what we did, that you think you should now?"

"I was going to ask you anyway. I just didn't know when. I was waiting for the right moment. That might have tipped my hand, but I was going to ask anyway."

"Are you sure?" she asked, now seeming insecure.

"Renesme, I had that ring made months ago, long before you seduced me."

She chuckled again. "Seduced you, did I?"

"Mmm," I said, kissing her again. "I didn't stand a chance." Her legs were still wrapped around my waist and I could feel her against my erection that was getting bigger every second. I carefully unwound her arms and let her slide down my body to her feet.

Her skin was nearly as hot as mine, but always felt a little cool to me. Her skin was hard, but smooth as silk. But it wasn't stone like her parents, it had give and it responded to the pressure of my fingers. It was nice though, knowing I couldn't really hurt her accidentally. That was highly unlikely.

"So, you want to set a date?" I asked.

She smiled eagerly and ran into the kitchen where I'd hung a big calendar next to the wall phone. She returned with it in her hands and we retreated to the couch. "Did you have a time in mind?" she asked.

"I want to be engaged for a bit, I'm not in a hurry, but I don't want to wait too long, but I had an idea."

"What's that?" she asked curiously.

"I would like your Aunt Alice to plan the wedding."

Renesme grinned. "She'd love that!"

I smiled. "I know, and I want to give her time, don't want her to feel like she has to rush, like she did with your mother."

She nodded sagely. "Okay, then, three months?"

"That's not much time."

"Yeah, but it's the end of May. If we wait too long, it'll be fall and then winter. I don't want a winter wedding."

"Okay, how about 4 months. That's September sometime. Fall isn't bad, it's not too cold yet, but it gives everyone time to get used to the idea."

"Used to the idea? They all probably knew about this before I did," she griped.

I chuckled. "They knew eventually this would happen, but no one knows yet, except your parents."

"My parents know?" she gasped.

I nodded. I was sure it was the first thing Edward would tell Bella once we were gone.

"How?"

"I asked her your father for his blessing. That's what I wanted to talk to him about."

"Oh my God! Is that what that was about?"

I nodded. "Yes, I wanted his blessing and permission. That way he can't say I surprised him later."

She was shaking her head. "That is so … so … archaic," she said.

I laughed. "Your father is archaic. He's an antique," I teased.

She laughed. "I suppose that would fit his rather staid view of the world, wouldn't it?"

"I think he was pleased."

"Well, that's what counts. Since you went ahead with it, I assume he gave his blessing."

"Yes, he did."

"I'll bet that wasn't all there was too it," she guessed shrewdly.

"No, there were a couple other things that needed to be said."

"And you're not going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope," I said firmly. Thankfully, she let it go.

She gazed at the calendar. "Second Saturday in September?"

"Perfect," I said. I leaned over and kissed her. I didn't bother catching it when the calendar slid to the floor.

"Mmm, what are we going to do with the rest of the afternoon?" she said slyly.

I growled playfully in her ear. "I want to make love to my fiancé. But I think we should eat."

She pouted. "I am a little hungry," she said, her voice so seductive it nearly made me groan.

"Be good," I admonished.

She laughed, but headed for the kitchen and I followed.

I made a mental note to buy more condoms. I was going to be going through that box in a hurry.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cullen Big House

The Next Day

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I knocked on the door, even though they must know I was there. Carlisle opened the door and smiled at me. "Hi, Jake, what can we do for you?" He waved me in. "Edward and Bella aren't here," he said, assuming incorrectly.

I crossed the threshold. "That's okay. I came to see Alice."

"Alice?" he asked, raising a brow.

She appeared and flitted down the stairs. "Since the world just disappeared, I figured it was you," she trilled as she came to a halt about three feet away.

I looked down at her 5' self, always having the urge to pat her on the head. "Sit down, Jake," Carlisle offered.

I nodded and headed for the couch, sitting down on one end. Alice sat on the other. "You wanted to see me?" she asked.

Jasper appeared from the kitchen. He was never far away from Alice. "Is something wrong?" he asked casually.

"Nope, something's very right," I said, beaming a smile, unable to help myself.

Alice smirked. "Well, you're here, so I assume Edward didn't remove any limbs," she joked.

I grimaced. "No, we talked yesterday and worked things out. That was a real stupid mistake on my part."

She shrugged. "I tried to help, but I was too late. You know I can't see Renesme very well."

I nodded. "I know. I'm actually here to talk to you about her."

"Nessie? What's up?"

I grinned. "I want you to do something for her, for us actually."

She waited, looking slightly baffled. "What?"

I took a deep breath, anticipating her reaction. "Alice," I said formally. She scrunched her brow. "I'd be honored if you would agree to plan our wedding."

Her eyes became wide as saucers, and she squealed, jumping straight up in the air about 5 feet, and clapping her hands together in a blur. "Really?" she asked after landing lithely on her feet in front of the couch. I winced at her squeal. It hurt my ears.

"Yes, really."

"Oh, my God! Thank you, Jacob! Congratulations!"

I laughed. "No, thank you."

"When did this happen?" she asked, always slightly peeved that she couldn't see what was going on with us.

"Yesterday, I asked Edward for her hand, and I asked her to marry me, and we set a date."

"How long do I have?" she asked eagerly.

"Four months. Date is set for the second Saturday in September."

"Fall wedding. Okay, we'll need to talk. I need to know what she wants, what kind of dress and decorations, and oh! Flowers, and do you have a minister?"

I held up my hands like stop signs. "Whoa, whoa, whoa."

Jasper was chuckling in the corner. Carlisle was smiling indulgently.

"Sorry," she trilled, making a valiant effort to calm herself down.

"We have plenty of time, Alice. I'll bring her by tomorrow and you guys can start planning, okay?"

"Why tomorrow?" she pouted.

I laughed, I couldn't help it. "Because I promised to take her to dinner to celebrate our engagement tonight. First we have to go tell my father and then Charlie, so I need to get going or I'm going to be late."

"Oh, okay, then, I guess I can wait," she said with mock petulance.

I stood up, still chuckling and stopped resisting the urge. I patted her on the head, and then left my palm there, my fingers spreading wide and gripping the top of her head. I almost covered her entire scalp with my hand. I looked into her eyes. "Calm," I stated firmly. "You have plenty of time. Calm."

She nodded, her lips pursed together. I pressed mine together to keep from laughing. I glanced at Jasper. "Can you help with this?" I asked.

He grinned. "I'll try, but I don't think even I can help entirely."

"Congratulations, Jacob," Carlisle said. He was grinning, constantly amused by my interactions with Alice, and our unlikely friendship.

"Thanks." I nodded sagely at Jasper and he and Carlisle began laughing again. I finally released her head. "See you later, twerp," I said. I'd started calling her that a long time ago. It was an endearment, although she hated it. Later she got so she didn't mind it.

I headed for the door and she stuck her tongue out at me. I was chuckling as I went through the door. I heard her say, "Rose! Esme! We have work to do!"

I almost felt sorry for them. I ran home to find Renesme dressed in a light cotton sundress. It was light blue and looked fabulous against her white skin. I skimmed my eyes over her. "You cut your hair!" I said in disappointment.

She rolled her eyes. "Just a bit. For God sakes Jacob, it was ridiculous."

"I love your hair," I stated the obvious. It now hung to the bottom of her waist, just above her butt.

"It will grow out again, I just got tired of sitting on it."

"Okay."

"Oh, don't pout," she said, smacking my forearm. "Get dressed. I can't take you anywhere."

I grunted and headed for the bedroom, finding a black tee shirt and a pair of suede leather tan pants I'd had made special to fit me. I slipped into my moccasins, not bothering with socks. This was bad enough. I hated having anything on my feet especially, but normal social dictates said I had to wear shoes in public.

"You want to drive or run?" I asked.

"Let's run to Billy's. We can always drive later to see Charlie."

I nodded and we went outside. I squatted down while she pulled up her hem to her waist and crawled onto my back, wrapping her arms around my neck. I'd picked up this form of travel from Edward and it was rather fun, not to mention how nice it was to have her pressed to me and clinging on. When running through the forest, it was strangely intimate. She could almost keep up with me running herself, but we both enjoyed this contact.

Once she was secure, I took off running, darting through the trees in the forest. I was running, but I wasn't flat-out, I was taking my time, enjoying the rush of the wind in my hair. I approached the reservation border. Even when human, I could howl fairly effectively. I let out a howl, "Owwww, oww, oww, oww," just to announce my approach.

I heard a wolf bark in response. I continued on over the border and when we broke through the trees at the edge of the road that led into the reservation, Jared was there, in his human form. He must have been the one on patrol today. "Hey Jake," he greeted me.

He eyed Renesme with appreciation as I lowered her off my back. It didn't bother me. I knew he had his own mate. "Hey Jared."

"What brings you here today?"

"We came to see my dad."

"He's over at Sue's with Charlie," he informed me.

Ness and I looked at each other. "Perfect," she said. Would save us trip later.

"What's up?" Jared asked, realizing we weren't just here for a friendly visit. "Nothing's wrong is there?" he asked automatically.

"Nope, just have some news for the rents," I joked.

"Oh? What news?" Renesme looked at me, not sure if Jared should know first. It really didn't matter, everyone was going to know soon enough. I shrugged.

"Doesn't matter," I said to her.

She grinned and held out her left hand, showing Jared the ring. A smile bloomed over his russet face. "Oh wow! Congratulations, you two!" he said sincerely. He took a step forward and gave Nessie a brief hug. He thrust out his arm and we grasped each other on the forearm in a 'warrior hand-shake'. "That's great. About time," he said, and then chucked me on the shoulder.

I smiled. "Thanks man. Keep it under your hat for a sec. We want to tell the folks first. They might get put out if everyone knows before they do."

He mimed locking his lips and throwing away the key. "You got it."

I took her hand and we sauntered up the road past my father's and then down to the Clearwaters place. Charlie and Sue were married now, having finally tied the knot two years ago. They lived at Charlie's most of the time cause he had to be in Forks for his job. But Sue had been reluctant to give up her house, so they decided to keep it. This way Leah and Seth had a place to crash or stay when they visited folks on the reservation. They didn't really need it, they had their own house now. I think that Sue was thinking Seth would want it someday. He would want a place on the reservation once he was a full blown doctor and would be ministering to the people on the reservation. She was probably right. Plus, there was always the chance that Leah would find someone and want the privacy as well. I sighed internally. Poor Leah. She was content now but it still bothered me that she had never found anyone to love but Sam. It wasn't fair. She deserved happiness too. It was an odd feeling, this generosity of spirit. But I found that when I was happy, I wanted everyone else to be happy too. Well, nothing I could do about that.

Xxxxxxxx

Clearwater House

La Push Reservation

xxxxxxxxx

We'd reached the Clearwater's place as I still thought of it. It would always be Harry Clearwater's house to me. I hopped up on the porch and knocked. Sue answered the door. "Oh! What a surprise, come on in, kids."

"Nessie!" Charlie nearly shouted, getting up from his chair and coming to give her a big hug, lifting her off her feet. He grunted when he did. She was a lot heavier than normal and now that she was full grown, she was a handful for a normal man. He never commented on these strange traits.

"Hi, Grampa," she said hugging him back.

Billy was at the kitchen table in his wheelchair. "What brings you guys out here?" he asked.

I smiled. "Well, we have some good news, Pop. We were going to see you and then go see Charlie, but this works out since you're both here."

They looked confused. "What's up?" Billy asked.

I nodded at Renesme. She was having fun telling everyone and she liked to show off the unique ring I'd given her. She cleared her throat. "Well, Jacob asked me to marry him. We're gonna get married in September," she said in a rush.

There was dead silence for about two seconds and then Billy smiled widely. "That's great! Congratulations!" he said, seemingly genuinely pleased.

Sue also seemed pleased. "That's great, kids. Congratulations."

"Thanks, Dad, Sue," I said, smiling in return.

Charlie looked stunned. "Grampa?" Renesme asked with concern. "You okay?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, sorry, just took me by surprise. Congratulations." He didn't sound as happy. He paused.

"What?" Nessie asked, knowing there was more.

"Nothing, just, you're so young," he said.

She grinned. "Sort of," she reminded him of her uniqueness. I wasn't sure that was a great idea. He knew she wasn't entirely human. She'd grown from a baby to a full grown woman in 7 years.

He coughed, "Yeah, just wow, my grandbaby is getting married."

She chortled and skipped over to him again, wrapping him in a gentle hug. She knew she had to be careful with Charlie, or any human for that matter. She could crush them almost as easily as I could. "I'll always love you best," she teased, and bussed his cheek.

Charlie actually blushed and Sue laughed.

"Does Edward know?" Charlie asked, the implication clear.

I nodded. "I talked to him first. I'm not stupid."

Charlie had to laugh at that, but Renesme scowled. She looked at Sue. "They still think we live in the 19th century," she said in disgust.

Sue and she laughed then and the men were quiet. That made them laugh harder. "This is wonderful, Nessie. Where are you going to get married?"

"We're not sure yet. Alice is going to do the wedding."

Billy frowned. I spoke up, knowing what he was worrying about. "Don't worry. We're going to ask Sam to perform the ceremony, whether the Cullens like it or not."

"They won't have a problem with it," Renesme said. She seemed sure, I wasn't so confident.

He nodded. Sam was the official 'chief' of the tribe and as such under Native American, and now United States law as well, he was qualified as clergy to perform weddings, funerals and the like and they were just as legal as if any minister, priest or justice of the peace had performed them. "It's in the early stage, lots of planning to do, so we haven't worked out the details yet by a long shot, but we wanted to let you guys know anyway. We'll let you know what's going on as things develop."

Sam, Paul, Jared, and several others of the reservation pack showed up then and crowded into the living room, smacking me on the back in congratulations. I nodded at them, noting that Collin and Brady were bigger than the last time I'd seen them. "I'll speak with you later," I said to Sam.

He nodded, smiling broadly.

Billy nodded, pleased. My tension with Sam since I'd broken off as Alpha had always bothered my father. And although we got along fine now, there were moments of tension. It was natural and unavoidable, we were both Alphas. That was the catalyst for building La Push Village in the first place. It bothered Billy that I'd had to move away. He didn't blame Sam really.

In his heart of hearts, I think he thought Sam should have stepped down and let me become Alpha and Chief of the tribe. It was my rightful place according to tradition, and maybe Billy felt cheated out of that. He had never gotten to transform but he had thought his son would get to be Chief and that was good enough for him. When that didn't happen and everything went sideways, it left Billy feeling cheated and unfulfilled. I knew this. However, being Chief had never been a goal of mine. I'd never wanted it. It was bad enough being Alpha of my small pack, but I'd accepted that finally and settled into an easy peace with it. Billy still yearned for us to be one big happy family. And we were for the most part, but there would always be that separation. My pack couldn't hear his pack. I could speak with him though, which was handy when we needed to coordinate.

We began talking about our plans. Nessie showed off her ring and everyone was duly impressed. Billy thought it was great, I could tell. He had an artistic soul. There was evidence of that all over his house, in the wood carvings he did of all sorts of animals, wolves being the most prevalent. Now though, he was happy for me. I could see that. I know that when I'd suffered for Bella, he's suffered right along with me. There was no way I could ever make up for that. The others were chattering away about how Alice would probably make the wedding fit for royalty, so I wandered over to Billy where he had drifted away and sat separate from the mayhem, into the kitchen as the others continued on in the living room.

I sat casually at a kitchen chair and looked at him and smiled. He smiled back. "Are you happy, son?"

"Extremely," I assured him.

He nodded. "That's all I ever wanted, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry for everything I put you through all those years ago."

He waved it off. "Don't worry about it. Past is the past."

"Still. I know I can't make up for that."

He shook his head. "I'm just so glad that you found someone."

I grinned. "Me too. She's everything to me, dad."

"I can see that. She's a handful though, isn't she?"

I chuckled. "She can be, but I wouldn't trade it for the world."

His smile was gentle then. "You are at peace then," he said. It wasn't a question. I knew what he meant. I was at peace with my life separate from the reservation, at peace with my relationship with Edward and especially with Bella. And I was at peace with my lot with Renesme."

"I am at peace," I said simply, knowing he would understand. "She's everything I ever wanted, and everything I didn't think to ask for," I added.

He smiled a content smile then. "Jacob."

I looked him in the eye. "Hmm?"

He swallowed harshly. My dad and I didn't talk much. We were both men of few words. However, we'd always had an easy relationship, born of need and familiarity. It'd been just the two of us for many years. We'd always been close and shared each others joys and triumphs. "I want to say, son that," he broke off.

I was a wee bit concerned now. It wasn't like Billy to stutter over his words. I sat up straight and paid attention. "What is it, Dad?"

He cleared his throat again. "There is not a father in the world … that could be more proud than I am of you. I wanted you to know that."

Unexpectedly, I felt moisture sting my eyes. I blinked rapidly, hoping the tears didn't fall. That would be embarrassing. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "Thank you," I whispered. "I've always been proud to call you 'father'. You should know that as well."

I glanced sideways, seeing a shadow just outside the kitchen door and knowing by the smell that it was Nessie. Thankfully, she didn't intrude, but I didn't mind if she listened. She'd never really understood Billy and this might be the chance for her to understand our relationship a bit better. So my words were for her as much as for Billy.

He turned to face me, and did not stop his own tears. A few leaked out into the wrinkled folds of his face around his eyes. I smiled at him and stretched my hand across the table. He reached for me and we crossed palms, our thumbs curling around one another as though we would arm wrestle. Quietly and slowly, he said, "You, my son, have grown into such a mighty man. More than even I ever expected, in spite of me. I'm so sorry that I wasn't … a full man for you."

I knew what he was thinking. He had been in this chair from the time I was a young boy. He'd never been able to play ball with me, teach me to work on cars, teach me to hunt or fire a gun, all the things that other boys had their fathers for. He felt bad about that, as though those things mattered. My friends had taught me some, and I'd taught myself the rest. I never felt like I missed out on anything. He'd never failed me in the things that mattered - morals, love, respect, kindness, always being there when I needed him for emotional support. I needed him to know that he had not failed me in any way.

"If I am … mighty," I began, using his word although I couldn't see that fitting, other than in reference to my size. "That's because of you," I said. I scooted forward, my long legs nearly straddling his and pulled his fist to my heart. I was chagrined to find that his hand felt frail. There was still strength there in his grip, but he was failing now. That made this so much more important, that I make sure he understood, before our time was through.

There was quiet in the living room. They were probably listening. I didn't care.

"You are always in here," I said, thumping his fist to my heart. "You're goodness, your morals, your faith in me, and most of all, your unconditional love for me. It guided me every day of my childhood. It guides me every day now. It will guide me every day of my long life." I swallowed. "Even when you are gone," I added quietly. "I've always known what you expected of me," I continued. "To be a good man, a faithful man, a man of principle, a man worthy of the tribe's respect." I struggled to put this all into words. "They respect you, not because you are Ephram's grandson. They respect you because you are Billy Black, and you are strong in the majesty of this tribe and you have never betrayed that responsibility. The strength of a man is not in his limbs. It's in his heart. You taught me that." I met his gaze again. "I have tried my best to be that man, the man you expected me to be. I know you wanted more for me than I wanted for myself sometimes."

He huffed ruefully. I heard a small hitch in Sam's breathing. He must know I was referencing Billy's expectations since I was a child that I would one day take his place on the council, or in the event of transformation, be the Alpha and Chief of the Quiluete Nation.

"Father," I said quietly. He turned his gaze back to me. "I will always do my best to be that man." I thumped our fists against my chest again. "The one in here, the one that counts. I never wanted to let you down."

"You never let me down, Jacob," he said softly.

"You were a great father, are a great father. I never missed anything, never felt that I did. I could not have asked for a better childhood. If I'd known you felt that way, I would have spoken to you much sooner."

His face was soft and content now. "I love you, Jacob, my only son. I'm so glad you have found your happiness and your peace."

I smiled. "I love you, too, always will, and thank you, for _everything_." I gave one last thump against my chest, trying to convey thanks for everything he'd given me; the morals, the strength, the principles, the love - and released his hand.

"Go in peace, Jacob."

I nodded, knowing that he was saying that he accepted all of this now, my living apart from the tribe, the path I had chosen. He didn't care if I wasn't chief of this tribe. He didn't care that I didn't live on the reservation proper. He cared that I was happy. He truly did love me more than I deserved in spite of everything I'd put him through about ten years ago.

Renesme appeared at the doorway now, finally revealing herself. I didn't know if Billy had seen her there with his rheumy eyes. But he rarely missed much in spite of that. His other senses were acute.

"I'm going to say good bye to Charlie and the boys," I informed her.

She nodded, smiling gently. I went past her into the living room but kept one ear cocked toward the kitchen. "We have your blessing, Billy?" she asked softly.

"Of course," he said gently.

"I wanted to thank you," she said quietly.

"Thank me?" he asked, clearly puzzled.

"You gave me the man of my dreams," he said simply.

He made a huffing sound of disbelief.

"I'm not joking, or humoring you," she said seriously.

There was silence from Billy.

"You are clearly the reason he is the man that he is today. I know you think that I don't understand the Quileutes. In many ways, I don't. However, I have learned much from Jacob, Quil, Embry, Leah and Seth. I have heard the stories. More than that though, I have lived among them. I can see what makes them tick. I can admire their steadfastness, their loyalty, their pride as a people. I respect you all and am a little in awe of you, if you must know. I wanted to tell you that."

"Thank you," Billy said quietly.

"There's something else," she said quietly. I drifted back towards the door, not wanting to miss this.

"What's that?" Billy asked.

"While I may not understand all about the Quileutes, neither do most people understand me," she said softly.

"True," he agreed.

"I am a freak, Billy."

He made a sound a negation.

"No, I know I am. I accepted that a long time ago. While not one of a kind, I am certainly the rarest of creatures. I am half-human though. I have human emotions, only maybe even magnified because of the half of me that is vampire."

Everyone in the other room was silent now, listening. I cringed, knowing Charlie probably heard the word vampire. We never spoke it around him, acknowledged that this was what Bella and Edward and the rest of the Cullens were. I glanced at Charlie. His eyes were wide, but Sue was holding his hand tightly, and he didn't look panicked. That was good. This was dangerous though. He could never know too much, for his own safety. Hopefully, his reluctance to acknowledge it would be enough to keep him from the notice of those that cared.

The rest were quiet. They didn't often get a chance to hear things like this, to learn something about the vampires that they didn't know. For them, curiosity was the reason for their interest. Other than superficial conversation, very few of them had ever heard Renesme speak much. We didn't exactly hang out here, so they were fascinated. I could tell there was an air of surprise in the air, that she was so forthright and intelligent, even though they'd been told this. Her insightfulness, I would imagine, had never occurred to them. This might be good. Maybe they would come to see some of what I saw in her.

"We, those like my parents," Renesme amended, having realized her mistake. "Our brains don't work like yours. There is a lot of 'room', I guess you could say, in here." She tapped her forehead.

Billy chuckled.

"We can think of many things at one time. I don't know how to describe it. Because of that room, we can also feel things very deeply, emotions so strong that they would break a normal human being. Our brains have compartments. I guess that is the best way to describe it. For instance, I can talk to you now, I can think about my wedding, wonder when Leah is going to get back, contemplate my father's reaction to this whole thing, and worry about the fact that I just slipped up in front my grandfather," she joked. "All at the same time."

There were a few chuckles from behind me, but then it was silent again.

She didn't turn around, her focus still on Billy. "You must understand," she said fervently. "I have never fit in anywhere." I wanted to protest, but I didn't want to interrupt her. "I am not wholly human, I am not wholly … like my parents, I am not a werewolf. I don't fit neatly into any category. You understand?"

Billy made a noise of agreement.

"For this reason, I have always felt like a bit of an outcast."

"Ness," I couldn't help whispering.

She held up a hand to stop me, without turning to look at me.

"Everyone loves me," she stated simply. "My parents, the rest of the Cullens, even their friends from far away," she said referring to all the witnesses that had gathered to help her when the Volturi thought she was an immortal child. "But again, this is because, as a freak, I have a gift, Billy, a gift that makes it impossible for someone to keep me out if I wish to get in. Has Jacob told you of this?"

I heard Charlie gasp behind me. He didn't know this either. This was getting dangerous. We were going to have to have a separate talk with Charlie as well, smooth this over. I turned to him, "Later," I mouthed.

He nodded, looking slightly sick.

Billy must have nodded to show that he knew of her gift.

"So, you see. I have this dilemma. It's something I live with. I'm a freak, and I overcome people's reluctance to accept me by using my gift. But that creates a conflict for me. I'm never sure if people would love me for who I am, if I didn't have this gift. If it was just me, without this ability, would my family accept me the way they did? Or would they be repulsed? Would Grampa love me even though I am so strange?"

I heard a muffled protest from Charlie, and gave him a warning glance. Once again, he retreated into the couch, with Sue crushing his hand.

She continued. "Because of this, I have always been a bit jealous of you," she admitted.

What? This surprised me. Jealous of Billy? Why?

So was Billy, apparently. "Jealous of me? Whatever for?"

I moved to the side so I could see her face. She was smiling gently. "Because, Billy. Don't you see? You have the love and respect of not just your family but of an entire tribe. An entire nation of people look to you with respect, awe, reverence, and most of all, _LOVE_ - _not_ because you are beautiful, _not_ because you are physically strong, _not_ because you can dazzle them with intelligence or pretty pictures." She paused. Then so quietly we could barely hear her. "_Because of who you ARE._"

Click. Now I got it. And I could tell the rest of people behind me got it too. I could hear their soft grumbles of agreement with her assessment of my father. I was proud on the one hand for him, and sad for her, as I realized that this had bothered her and I'd never guessed. I'd thought she'd gotten over being 'different' a long time ago. It didn't matter to me and she knew it didn't. I couldn't resist comforting her now. I slid up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, cradling her against my chest. She sighed and leaned back into me, but she was still looking at Billy.

He was sitting there with a stunned look of respect on his face. "I love you, Nessie," I whispered.

She continued as if I hadn't interrupted her. "Do you have any idea how unique that is to me?" she asked Billy. "Do you have any idea how much that dazzles me?"

He didn't respond.

"I'm not jealous anymore," she declared. "I'll always envy that about you. You are a great man, Billy Black. There is no way, no words, that can ever thank you for the gift of Jacob in my life. For making him the man that he is, one that I wanted, who is good and true, that I could love. Because even if he weren't a good man, as much as I know he loves me, he didn't have a choice either."

It bothered me that she thought I wouldn't have loved her if I hadn't imprinted. Honestly, I couldn't answer that. I had been going to kill her that first day. There was nothing I could do to change that.

"But Jacob has given me more than his love," she continued. There was more? My head was spinning already. Uncharacteristically, my brothers were strangely silent behind me.

"What else has he given you?" Billy prompted.

She smiled her glorious smile, the one with teeth and dimples. "He made me feel like I belong." Her voice held such a note of sincerity. "That little village is the first time in my entire life that I feel like I am a part of something real, something good, and I _belong_ there. That is my place. I don't belong with humans, with werewolves, with … vampires," she said finally, giving up on the subterfuge. "But I belong with Jacob and his pack. I am as loyal to them as they are to each other. I will never betray them. Do you believe me?"

Billy smiled. "Yes." She smiled at him again. Her look was now filled with affection. "I want to ask you something," he said, looking speculative.

She nodded, encouraging him to continue. "You have never touched my face, and shown me your ability."

"You want me to?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Maybe later." We all chuckled.

"I know it is deeper than that. You say you have the ability to make people love you, let you in, so to speak, accept you."

"Yes," she said simply.

"Without touching them?"

"Yes."

"Have you used this ability on me?" he asked.

Her eyes widened. "No," she whispered. "I didn't think Jacob would appreciate that."

He chuckled. "Well then, you are wrong."

Her face was filled with confusion now. "About what?"

I saw it coming and my heart nearly burst with love for my father at this moment.

"There is one person that loves you for who you are," he said calmly.

She still looked confused. How could she not see this coming? "Who?" she said so softly it was barely audible.

"Me," Billy said.

She shook slightly. "Why?" she asked, still not accepting, thinking probably that he was humoring her.

"Because you have brought my son love and joy and peace. Things I was never able to give him. Things that no one else has ever been able to bring him."

She still looked doubtful.

He looked at her. "Renesme."

"Yes?"

He smiled. "I don't care that you are beautiful."

She frowned.

"I don't care that you are intelligent."

She frowned even more.

"I don't care that you are half … vampire," he stuttered over the word.

"You don't?" she asked, her voice actually quivering, a rare event.

"I wouldn't care if you were ugly, stupid and looked like a cow."

She couldn't help laughing at that. I heard suppressed chuckles behind me.

"You have made Jacob happy, and _you_ love _him_ for who he is. This is _all_ that matters to me. This is why I love you."

"Billy," she whispered. I let her go when she stepped to him. She gently took his hands in hers and bent down to kiss his forehead, lingering there. He closed his eyes. I saw moisture leak in the corners. "Thank you, that's the best gift anyone has ever given me."

"You're welcome," he said, his voice rough.

"You really don't care?" she inquired, pulling back to look into his eyes. She was referring to her ability, her being half-vampire, a freak, in her mind.

"I really don't care," he said sincerely. "I love you anyway."

She leaned forward then and hugged him awkwardly. His arms rose tentatively, but then they curled around her and he patted her back gently. I could tell she was being very careful with him. He was more frail than even Charlie. "I love you too," she whispered. They finally separated. "Good bye, Billy, thank you, and we'll visit soon."

He nodded and watched her walk out of the kitchen, straight through the living room and out the front door. I knew she needed a moment alone. I turned to my father, my voice burning with gratitude. "Thank you, so much," I said simply. There was nothing else to say.

He nodded. "Go be happy, son. Go in peace."

I thumped my chest with my fist, just to remind him of what we shared, and turned, to find Charlie and Sue standing now. The rest waved and grumbled good byes, slightly embarrassed to have witnessed such an intimate moment in our family. I wasn't upset by that though. I think they had all gained a little insight into Renesme. They never considered that she had problems and emotions that hurt her also. They'd never considered that she had struggled with what she was, where she belonged. These were not things they had thought about. I think she'd gained some respect from them today and I was glad.

They would no longer view her as 'other'. Billy had accepted her. Billy had said he loved her and given his blessing. She was good enough for his son. For this reason alone, the rest would accept her. Oh, they would have accepted her anyway, they had no choice. But that didn't mean they wouldn't have reservations, doubts. There was a big difference between accepting someone and liking them, truly viewing them as family. He'd given me a gift too, my brother's acceptance of my choice. Along side that, he'd given Renesme the gift of knowing she was worthy of love without her gift. Was there no end to the generosity of this man?

I was concerned now about Charlie though. "You guys heading back to Charlie's?" I asked.

"Yeah," Sue answered.

"Is now a good time or should we wait?"

They knew what I was saying. Clearly, we had to have a discussion. It was going to be tricky. As diplomatic as Renesme had been, she didn't have as much experience as I did in skirting the obvious with Charlie and others like him. I might want to ask her to let me do the talking, but I didn't want to get her dander up.

Charlie cleared his throat. "Now is as good a time as any, I suppose."

"Okay, we'll meet you there," I said.

He nodded and they went out the front door. Billy wheeled himself to the front door. "You need help getting home?" I asked.

He shook his head. Sam was there, waiting. "I'll get it," he offered. I nodded my thanks.

I came down the stairs and walked up to him. "We haven't gotten around to planning much yet," I told him. "This is only a couple days old, Sam. But we are going to want you to perform the ceremony … if you don't mind."

He smiled. "Of course, I'd be honored."

"Thank you, we appreciate that."

"Any time," he said graciously, and took a hold of Billy's chair and began wheeling him the few blocks back to his house.

Charlie and Sue were already in the cruiser and pulling out onto the main road that cut through the center of La Push. Renesme stood staring off into horizon. The sun was just beginning to set and the sky was beautiful with streaks of orange and magenta. I hugged her from behind and she sighed. "Big day, huh?"

She smiled. "Yes, indeed. Much more than I bargained for."

"Are you happy?"

She turned in my arms and I lifted her to my face. "Deliriously happy," she said. I kissed her gently, and lowered her back down. "I hope you didn't mind me listening to you two," she said finally.

I didn't mind taking our time. I wanted to give Charlie a head start anyway.

"No, I didn't mind. I have no secrets from you. I'm glad you didn't come in though. I don't know if he would have been so forthright if you were there. We've never been men to talk a lot."

She laughed. "Men of few words?" she guessed. I nodded. "He's truly a great man, isn't he?"

"I think so."

"The whole tribe thinks so. And I meant it, not just because he's Ephram's grandson. They respect him as a person."

"I know that too. I think his handicap was an advantage in some ways. It forced him to develop other qualities to compensate, to make people look past his legs."

She nodded. "I can't imagine what that's like." She paused, and I could tell she was struggling with something, so I waited patiently. "He meant it, didn't he? That wasn't just for you or …"

I caught her up in another bone crushing hug. "He meant it. My father doesn't say much. And he definitely doesn't say anything he doesn't mean. It's a matter of principle to him. He would never lie to make anyone feel better. That's not who he is."

"I know that, I do, it's just so unbelievable to me."

I smiled and kissed her again. "You are my life, Nessie. And you as worthy of love as anyone in the universe. Please believe that. I had no idea that this still even bothered you or we would have talked sooner."

"I don't know if I thought it bothered me either. Most of the time I don't think about it. Something about being in that small house with all those people, all that 'family', loving each other just to love each other, it hit me for some reason. No one was there making them love each other. No one was entertaining them or dazzling them into wanting each other's company, no one was giving them a common focus. They were there simply for the joy of loving one another and enjoying each other's company. It just seemed so powerful … I wanted it. I wanted to be a part of it so bad. I want them to love me. Yet I knew that I couldn't make it happen for me, to include myself, because if I used my talent – well, that negates the whole point – that kills what I want."

"Oh Nessie, I'm so sorry you felt that way. Guess what, though?" I prompted.

"What?"

"You impressed more than Billy back there," I told her.

"I did?"

"Oh yeah, Paul, Jared, Sam, and the rest, they were hanging on your every word. I think you gave them a lot to think about. The way they regard you is changing. They were affected profoundly by your honesty, your love for Billy and for me. I think they think of the vampires as essentially selfish creatures. It never occurs to them that they feel for anyone but themselves, even though they know, intellectually, this isn't true. To hear that you feel even more deeply than they do, that was a surprise to them, I'm sure."

"I've always been a stranger to them."

"I don't think you will be now."

She smiled. "I can hope."

"Absolutely, but there's no doubt in my mind. They feel bad for the way they've excluded you, the way they've regarded you. They all realized this wasn't just because you are different. They realize some of the way you feel is because of their behavior and they feel bad about it."

"They shouldn't."

"I don't know if I agree. They've never really given you a chance. They would never say anything, because they understand imprinting. They would never risk my ire to disparage you out loud, but I think they were just a little fearful of you. They didn't understand you, you are outside their experience."

"I'm outside everyone's experience," she said ruefully.

I chuckled. "That's true, but they realized that the prejudice has not been on your side, it's been on theirs and they are chagrined. They like to think of themselves as above that sort of thing, petty prejudice. They know what its like to have a secret and have everyone think you're strange, and ostracize you because you are different. We all know what that's like. Imagine their surprise when they realized that they were guilty of the very prejudice they despised in others."

She was thoughtful for a moment and then smiled. "Well, I just hope they come around."

"They will. Right now, though, we have another thing to take care of."

"Grampa Charlie," she said wistfully. I nodded. "I goofed up. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry about it, we'll smooth it over, but it's going to be tricky."

"After I messed up, I just figured there was no point in avoiding the word anymore. The vampire was out of the bag, so to speak."

I laughed and took her hand, slinging her onto my back. "Let's go make the world okay for Charlie," I joked.

She laughed too as I took off running. We were at Charlie's about ten minutes later. Sue and Charlie were on the porch and they saw me jog out off the path in the woods with her on my back. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, but it was pointless now to hide as much as we had before. I did have to make sure that we didn't get careless though. It was easy to do when there was so much peace. You tended to lose your paranoia and awareness. It got too easy to be yourself around humans.

Renesme slid gracefully to the ground and smoothed her skirt over her legs. I took her hand and approached Sue and Charlie. Sue wasn't surprised at our speedy arrival. She was used to werewolves and their physical capabilities. Although technically she wasn't supposed to share with Charlie, I was sure that there were things that had come up and she'd had to explain. I'd known she'd talked to Sam and Billy and asked their permission to share essentials with Charlie. It was just too difficult to hide it all when they were living together and so wrapped up in life at La Push. Sue had taken Harry's place on the council of elders. That hadn't changed when she married Charlie. So they were still at LaPush often. She was one of the few who was in on the secret that was not directly involved. If she weren't on the council, Leah and Seth would not have been able to tell her of their change. In addition, Leah and Seth being werewolves was an issue. Sue had to deal with them, and hence, so did Charlie. So this would be one more straw on the camel's back of strange straws for Charlie. Not that he didn't suspect anyway.

I could tell he was troubled though. Sue seemed relatively calm, so that was good. She would be a good buffer for him. They waved us into the house and we sat on the small sofa in the living room. Bella had begged to buy him new furniture, but Charlie loved this couch. It was awful. I sat forward a bit, uncomfortable when I sat back in it.

Charlie and Sue sat in dueling recliners opposite the couch, but with the foot rests down. "Something to drink?" she asked.

"Iced tea, if you got it," I said. I knew she did. Wolves loved iced-tea for some reason. Charlie shot an alarmed glance at Renesme.

"Me too, Sue, please," she said towards Sue's back as she retreated into the kitchen. Charlie relaxed, finding this small concession to a normal diet reassuring. She returned shortly and gave us our glasses, handing Charlie a beer.

He nodded his thanks and then turned to us. "Well, I guess this is one of those need-to-know situations," he began. This was his code phrase for discussing the supernatural. It was established long ago, after the first time I'd phased in front of Charlie. I'd never done it since.

Renesme laughed and I frowned at her. She got it under control quickly. "Sorry," she quipped.

I shook my head indulgently. "Charlie, here's the thing. It's … dangerous for you to know too much."

"I know that. Not sure why, but I know that."

"Because there are … people … who are very serious about keeping these secrets," I explained carefully. "In other words, if they were to get word that a … human … knows too much, they would take steps to eliminate that threat," I explained. Might as well be straight with him.

He lost a little color, but didn't lose his composure. "Okay."

"Yes, it's that serious," I said, answering his unspoken question. "That is why we have not said a lot of things to you. It's not because we don't trust you with it. It's for their protection, but mostly, Charlie, honestly, it's for yours."

He scowled.

"I know. You care about Bella's and Renesme's safety more. I'm sure Edward made this about Bella's and Renesme's safety because he knows you as well as I do and he knows you value their safety more than your own. But I'm going to be honest with you right now."

He nodded.

"Well, actually, it is about them as well. I can't name these … people. But they are sort of law enforcement for …" I let it dangle.

He nodded.

"Okay then. They enforce the laws."

"Va … they have laws?" he asked.

I chuckled. "There are a few, but the most important one is that their existence be kept a secret from normal people _at all costs,_" I emphasized.

"Okay, I can understand that."

"This doesn't just apply to being careful about not leaving … evidence," I said carefully.

Charlie made a face, and a look of true horror came over his face.

"No, they don't do that," I rushed to assure him.

"What?"

"They don't kill … people," I said.

He relaxed. "Okay."

"Only animals," I assured him, knowing this was probably more than I should tell him, but I didn't want him thinking that Bella was running around killing people.

"Okay," he said again.

"So in order to keep you safe, the less you know, the better. They aren't supposed to tell anyone anything at all, let alone any details. If a human knows too much, they eliminate them or make them one of them."

"I understand that. They know about you though, right?"

"Some of them do, but we need that secrecy as much as they do, so we're not a threat in that way, exposure-wise. We can't reveal them without revealing ourselves. They don't exactly consider us human either. We are as much a part of their preternatural world as they are."

"Right. That makes sense."

"Okay, the other aspect I want you to be aware of is that this is also about Renesme and Bella."

"How so?"

"Those law enforcers?"

"What about them?"

"They wouldn't just eliminate the threat," I said slowly, letting that sink in.

"I don't understand."

"They also have the prerogative to … punish … the person who committed the _crime._"

Now he got it. His mouth dropped open as he seized the implications. Not only would they kill him, they would punish Bella and Renesme and Edward, whoever. "How?"

"You don't need to know that," I said quickly.

Sue had been curiously silent through all of this but she was much more informed than Charlie was. "It's okay, Charlie," she softly. "Everything's fine. Nothing really changed. You suspected what they were anyway, right?"

"I knew they were something more than … human," he admitted.

"Now, one more thing," I said. "And then I'll answer any questions you have, if I can."

His eyes were riveted on mine. "Go ahead."

"I'm telling you this because I don't want you to make assumptions. I don't want your imagination to run wild. The Cullens are … special … different."

"How so?"

"They live differently from most others of their kind," I said succinctly.

"Oh," he huffed out, when he realized what I was saying.

"Others of their kind, do not live in so … civilized … of a manner."

I gave him a minute to let that sink in. There were plenty of others out there. He didn't need to know how many. Renesme squeezed my hand, "Jacob, do you really think we should be telling him all this?"

I nodded. "I know, its borderline, but I think he needs to know. He knows too much now not to start speculating. I don't want that to happen. I want you to know whatever it is that you want to know to make this okay for you, Charlie."

"I'm not sure yet," he admitted.

"Grampa," she started.

I shook my head at her. "Give him a minute to process, Nessie."

"Thanks," Charlie grumbled.

She was bursting to say something, but she knew I was better at this than she was. I was better at reading Charlie, at reading humans in general and what they could stand, predicting their reactions, so she acquiesced to my expertise in this area most of the time.

Me, a diplomat, I thought wryly. Who'd of thunk it?

Finally he took a deep breath. "Okay, so really all that's changed is that I heard Nessie say the word that I'd always suspected anyway."

"Correct. But suspecting and having it confirmed are two different things. I know that too."

"Can't argue there," he said gruffly.

He seemed to be mulling something over.

"You have questions," I said. It was a statement.

"Yes, just deciding whether I want them answered or not."

I smiled. "Understandable."

"It's embarrassing. I'm gonna sound like an idiot."

"Trust me, Charlie, you won't. We were all where you are at one point. Well, except for maybe Nessie," I joked.

She snorted and punched my shoulder.

"Actually, that's one of the questions I have," he said.

I wasn't sure what he meant. "About what?"

"Renesme, how did she … come to be?" he asked finally.

I froze. This was a question I should not answer. I shot Renesme a severe warning glance. After a few seconds, I said. "Charlie, that's not my story to tell. I'm sorry, I know that you want to know, but it's … hard for me to talk about, and it's not my story to tell in any case. Edward would rip my head off if I gave you the answer to that question."

He nodded. "Can I ask them?"

"Ask them anything you want. I'd recommend asking Bella though."

He nodded, understanding what I meant. Edward wasn't as free with information in the first place, and he might not like Edward's version. I had no idea if they would object to his knowing this story, but I wasn't about to find out.

"Isn't it my story to tell?" Renesme asked.

"No," I said firmly.

She scowled at me. "But."

"No," I repeated.

Sue and Charlie were looking from one of us to the other and back again.

"Jacob, there's no reason for him not to know."

"No!" I barked again. She actually backed away from me. I rarely hollered at her, or denied her anything, but I was not going to go there with Charlie and neither should she. Bella and Edward would explode. I had tentative peace with them about marrying and being with Renesme in the biblical sense. I was not going to ruin that. Besides which, Charlie did not need to know how close to death Bella had come giving birth. Even Renesme didn't know that whole horrific story. The memory of Bella dying on that table still haunted me.

I could tell all three were surprised by my reaction. "Okay," she said in a small voice.

I sighed and pulled her into my side, kissing the top of her head. "Sorry I yelled. Please, Nessie, just trust me on this, okay? It's not a good time. There's too much you don't know. Trust me, please."

She understood. I wasn't saying she couldn't ever talk to him about it, but now was not a good time. He'd had too much hit him tonight already. We had to be careful. "Okay."

"Sorry, Charlie. Did you have other questions?"

"About a million," he said. We all chuckled at that and I waited for him to reassemble his thoughts. "Okay, getting away from that for a minute. Can you tell me something about you?"

This was easier. He was married to a couple of werewolves' Mom. Sam could no longer order me to keep secrets about us. It was up to me now what I revealed about my own pack. Of course, I had to take into consideration that whatever I revealed about my own pack I was revealing about Sam's. Still had to be careful.

"What do you want to know?"

"How did you come to be?"

I smiled. "Billy could tell it best. The whole story would take most of the night and I don't think we want to get that involved at this point, but I don't have an objection to you being told that story. It is something bred into us genetically for generations. Ask Billy sometime to tell you how the tribe became what we are. Suffice it to say for now, the short answer, is that we exist because they exist. We have but one purpose, to protect humans from the less civilized of the Cullens' kind."

"Okay, that's good to know. Is Sam the leader?"

"He's the Alpha of the La Push pack."

"And you?"

"I'm the Alpha of the La Push Village pack."

"That's why you live separately?"

"Yes, two alphas cannot co-exist too close together."

"You're that much like a … pack."

"Yes."

"I told you that Leah and Seth were in the village because of Jake, remember Charlie?" Sue interjected.

"Yes."

"Well, that's because they are loyal to Jake, not Sam. Jake is their Alpha. They follow his lead."

"Quil and Embry?" he asked.

"Same thing," she replied.

"Okay, that makes more sense. La Push isn't far from the Cullens. I never really understood why you had to be separate. But why did you separate in the first place, why are there two Alphas?"

"Hmmm, that's also a long story, and much more than I want to impart tonight." I didn't want to get into it. It would mean revealing the reason I split off, to protect Bella from being killed by the rest the pack when they thought Renesme was an abomination. No, Charlie could never know this. "Suffice it to say that Sam and I had a difference of opinion over something extremely important to me and I broke away because of it. Later, the others, Leah, Seth, Quil and Embry broke off also to join me, each for their own reasons." Fortunately, he accepted this and moved on.

"Do you have to go after … their kind very often?"

Tricky one. "Well, not anymore. Occasionally, one will wander into the territory, but it's much less frequent now than in the early days."

"Why?"

"Hmmm," I said, wondering how much to say.

"Too much information?" Charlie asked.

"Without going into too much detail, there were a few incidents way back when, that caused the Cullens to gain a … reputation. They survived an enormous offensive against them." He didn't need to know why. "There were people that wanted to get rid of the Cullens, because they were such a large, powerful group." I hesitated. "They were decimated by the Cullens, with our help. But most don't know about our involvement. That reputation has served us well. For the most part, it keeps others of their kind away from the entire Olympic peninsula."

"What happens if one comes?"

"They are asked to leave by the Cullens," I said simply. I debated briefly. "And they are warned not to hunt here or they will suffer the consequences."

Charlie shivered. "If they don't leave or they hunt here?"

I stared at him, waiting for him to come to this conclusion on his own. He swallowed harshly. "You go after them?" he guessed.

I nodded.

"And chase them away?" he pushed.

I stared at him. "No," I said finally.

He blanched. I waited. After a long minute, he cleared his throat. "You kill them." It was statement.

"Yes." I paused. "And that's all I'm going to say on that subject."

"Isn't that very dangerous for you?"

"A lone vampire, no," I said, deciding that the word was no longer verboten here. "Even several aren't much of a problem, with the size of our packs."

"And the Cullens tell you if there is one that won't leave or plans to … hunt, this area?" he inquired. I knew he wanted to know from a law enforcement perspective. How often was a vampire a danger to him and the good folks of this area, in his real life?

"Yes, if they don't take of it themselves first," I added.

He startled at that. "Bella …" he broke off. I realized my mistake. I'd practically said that Bella was out killing rogue vampires in her spare time.

"No," I said quickly. "It's the men that take care of it, Jasper and Emmett and Edward are the … protectors of the family."

He relaxed. "Has Bella ever?" he couldn't resist asking.

"No," I assured him. I knew this to be true. Bella had never killed a human being, and she had never killed another vampire. I could at least give him this much peace.

"Whew," he blew out air through his lips. "People?" he asked tentatively.

"Bella has never killed another soul, human … or otherwise."

"Okay, that's good," he said in the understatement of the year.

"Truly Charlie, it doesn't come up often anymore."

"Because of the Cullens. You said they had a reputation, what is that reputation?"

Also tricky, how much could I reveal without their permission. This had gone too far though. He knew too much. And if I knew Charlie, and I did, there were certain things he would conclude that I didn't want him too. Without assurances of Bella's safety, he would feel like he should snoop and try to do something about it. We couldn't have that. "They are held in high esteem in our world."

"Why?"

"Because they live the way they do. Very few can do that. There is one other clan in Denali, Alaska that lives this way. There are five of them, so they are not as large as the Cullen family. And they are not as gifted. The second part is that they are known to fiercely protect their territory. Not only do they live civilized, but they will not let harm come to any humans in their territory. It is a point of honor for them."

"That's good, I guess. They have territories?" he said simply.

"Yes."

"What is the Cullen territory?"

"The entire Olympic peninsula, from the Canadian border all the way to the northern California and Nevada borders. And west to the Idaho border, sans La Push," I stated.

"Wow."

"Yes, it's the largest territory known to be claimed by a coven."

"Coven?"

"That's what they call a group of them that lives together."

"Oh. So, it's a good reputation," he hedged.

I smiled. "Yes, but they are feared. Very few of their kind know that we, the wolves exist, and that we assist in this goal to protect the humans of this area. We don't mind them taking credit. Our only concern is that no one gets harmed."

"They're feared because they protect their territory."

"Yes and no one has ever gotten past them. And I mean no one."

"I'm not sure what you mean," he asked timidly. "What do the others think of them?"

I stared at him for a moment. "Hmmm, well. New ones to the life are told the laws and not to break them or there will be severe consequences from the … law enforcers. Never leave evidence of feeding. Never reveal yourself to a human. Never be seen in sunlight. Never tell a human what you are. No exposure for any reason, fairly straight forward. In the last decade, a new instruction has been added to the teachings of those laws."

"What's that?"

"Stay out of the Olympic peninsula." I paused. "Unless you want to end this life."

He shuddered. "They fear them that much?"

"It's common knowledge among their kind now. Mess with the Cullens, and you will die. No exceptions."

"Wow, so, wow. I guess I'm glad she's with them then."

I smiled. "If she had to become what she is, and she did, she couldn't have found a better crowd, it's true."

"This must not have been easy for you either, Jake."

"No, it wasn't, but fate intervened, and I saw Renesme, and the rest is history."

"Sue tried to explain imprinting to me, but I don't really get it."

I laughed. "Most people don't. But I can assure you, Charlie, I will always take care of your granddaughter."

"Just like you took care of my daughter?" he teased.

I smiled. "Yes, even more so."

"I believe you. I've always had a special affection for you, Jacob."

"I know, and I appreciate it. The door swings both ways. That's why I'm even telling you any of this in the first place. I've probably said too much, but I don't like to lie, Charlie. You know I wouldn't do it if it wasn't absolutely necessary. Now though, you know more than any human possibly in the world about werewolves and vampires. That puts you in danger and for that I'm sorry. So I have to extract your promise once again. You can never reveal any of this outside of La Push to anyone, ever."

"I won't. I have my faults, but I'm good at keeping secrets."

"I know you are or I wouldn't even risk it."

"So way back when those hikers were missing and we thought it was bear, and later when we thought it was the wolves."

"It was not the wolves."

He nodded. "Yeah, Sue assured me of that. It was them, though, right? Others?"

"Yes, one was particularly tricky and kept coming back. She was the one that we were having trouble eliminating. She had a talent for evasion and escape."

I warned Renesme with a look. He did not need to know that she had been after Bella or that an entire army of them had come for her.

"Wow." That was all he said.

"What else?" I asked knowing he wasn't finished.

"You said that the Cullens were talented, gifted was the word you used. What did you mean?"

I contemplated. "I think that's another question for Bella."

He nodded. "Okay, I think I've gotten enough for one night. It will take me a while to process this."

"I have to warn you. I will tell Edward and Bella that I've revealed these things to you. I have to. I don't want them thinking I acted behind their backs. Nessie's slip made it necessary, but that in no way lessens what I've done here tonight."

"Will they be mad?"

"Probably."

"I'll tell them I coaxed it out of you."

"That's not necessary," Renesme said. "I'll be sure they know it was my goof."

He smiled affectionately at Renesme and stood up, holding out his arms. Charlie was not an effusively affectionate person, except with Nessie. Like most, he found her simply irresistible. She went to him willingly, hugging him gently and kissing his cheek. I never feared that she would harm him anymore. She'd had extraordinary control since she was a baby.

Sue stood up and she hugged her also. Sue no longer cringed from the proximity and I was glad for that. I know how much it had hurt Nessie in the beginning.

"I think we missed dinner," I said.

"Oh no! Did we keep you from dinner?" Charlie asked, looking a little puzzled. He was still unsure of Renesme's diet, but he had seen her ate steak, so that had quelled some of his suspicions.

"Don't worry about it, plenty of time to celebrate," she answered.

"Congratulations, you two," Sue said.

"Yes, congratulations. Take care of my Nessie, Jake."

"You know I will," I replied. We left, and went out on the porch. Sue and Charlie were watching through the open screen door as we both leaped lightly onto the lawn. "What the hell?" I muttered and squatted down.

Renesme laughed her trilling, joyful laugh, took two steps and leaped with unnatural grace and agility onto my back, and I took off so fast, I knew I practically blurred out of site into the edge of the woods.

I heard Charlie gasp, and Sue laugh. "Never gets old, does it?" I heard her say.

Renesme and I were both laughing as we enjoyed the wind in our hair, racing through the forest. Fre

e and happy at last.


	8. Important Message !

Dear Readers,

I'm not finished of course. This Is just a part time authors note. I've uploaded seven chapters at the same time which Is kinda strange, but I wanted to give everyone a good look into what this is all about before leaving you hanging. This is a mixture of one-shots involving most of the twilight cast, timeline order. Starting with the missing scenes from the book/movies, to future drama Stephenie Meyer deprived us of.

I need reviews and feedback to know what you guys all think of it and what needs improving.

Sorry if there were any major grammar errors or spelling mistakes, and I deeply apologise for those offened whenever I write 'Renesme instead of Renesmee'. Bad habits, I'll try check though.

What do you think then? Tons of chapters to come, so favourite, follow and review. I'll upload when I've started getting feedback from you beautiful members of the world wide web, and audience.

BlackParade0o.


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